Photos
Last week, Hilary Swank and Jean Claude Van Damme attended a lavish birthday party for Ramzan Kadyrov, the leader of Chechnya who has been accused by human rights organizations of using terrible violence to suppress an insurgency. In response, the Human Rights Watch has released a statement criticizing the stars for their participation in the event. Ugh, right? It’s like, can’t these poor stars just go to a birthday party without having to be CONDEMNED by HUMAN RIGHTS WATCH?! Poor stars. They are just like us only a little bit sadder because of the press releases. From the Hollywood Reporter:
In a statement to THR, Human Rights Watch called on stars who attended the party for Kadyrov to reimburse any money that they were paid to participate. “Ramzan Kadyrov is linked to a litany of horrific human rights abuses. It’s inappropriate for stars to get paid to party with him. It bolsters his image and legitimizes a brutal leader and his regime. And getting paid to be part of such a lavish show in Chechnya trivializes the suffering of countless victims of human rights abuses there,” the organization said.
According to Human Rights Watch, Kadyrov presides over law enforcement and security agencies that have been implicated in abductions, torture and executions of those suspected of involvement in the Islamist insurgency in Chechnya. Thor Halvorssen, president of the Human Rights Foundation, called the stars’ attendance at the celebration “disheartening and shameful.”
Yiiiiikes. Hahahahha. What are we even talking about here? Hilary Swank? Jean Claude Van Damme? Sick party, dude. It’s totally worth it that you govern your territories with a blood-soaked iron fist because if it weren’t for wielding that kind of fearsome power, who knows if Hilary Swank and Jean Claude Van Damme would have even come to your 35th birthday party? It’s like, we all wish we weren’t murderous dictators, but hey, it’s got its perks! Two perks! And those perks are named Hilary Swank and Jean Claude Van Damme.
Actually, my favorite part of the whole scandal are the fames who DIDN’T make it out to Chechnya (but wanted to):
Kevin Costner was invited to the Oct. 5 event but declined due to his production schedule on the Hatfields and McCoys television series — a development that in retrospect, was a gift from the public-relations gods. Eva Mendes and Colombian singer Shakira also were invited but did not attend. A spokesman for Mendes says the actress was never scheduled to attend the event “due to availability.”
Kevin Costner and Eva Mendes are so sorry they couldn’t make it. They wanted to, but the scheduling between the production of their television shows and the human rights abusing Chechnyan leader’s birthday IN CHECHNYA was simply too difficult to work out. Hope to see you next year, buddy. 36 years YOUNG!
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Ok, I’ll bite the bullet and make the obvious joke.
Jean Claude Van Damme is a celebrity?
#shame
I remember there was a trend in my elementary school of people running their hands through their hair and saying, “Jean Claude Van Damme I look good.” Was that really a thing? WAS IT? I’ve been wanting to know for like seventeen years.
it was, and I still do that, and I’m serious, and no I don’t do it ironically like some jerk hipster. I do it because Jean Claude Van Damme it is just an appropriate thing to say sometimes.
I remember seeing this on The Fresh Prince of Bel Air. So does that confirm it?
Oh my god you’re so right and yes it does! LOOK: http://bit.ly/qQ6KX
salchicha, thanks for solving my life’s greatest mystery. Now I can die happy.
What!? Normal Things? Like Go to a protest because you are curious about the message?!? Human Beings cant Possibly want to do that, famous ones especially
I think you’re in the wrong post.
I double think it
This month’s Mr. Coconuts features Jack Kukoda (Onion SportsDome), Heather Lawless (The Heart, She Holler), songs from Nick Diamonds (formerly of The Unicorns and Islands). None of them used terrible violence to suppress an insurgency!
Formerly of Islands? Are they no more? Say it ain’t so. Islands are forever!
How much you wanna bet that Kadyrov had just watched “Street Fighter” and “The Next Karate Kid” back to back (because bad 1994 American action movies are ALL THE RAGE in Chechnya)?
I’m sorry, what was that second movie you mentioned there? I don’t think that really exists, because everybody knows that they made three Karate Kid movies. Only three.
Fun Fact: Ramzan Kadyrov is only 13 years old. He said he wanted Guile, Karate Girl, and Waterworld at his birthday party.
And the food at this lavish party? All you can eat Showbiz Pizza, courtesy of Winwood.
“Bring me the Waterwold! I demand the Waterworld!”
I know it came out in ’94, but can we still talk about how JCVD was Guile, the American military character, in Street Fighter? And how it was Oscar nominated Raul Julia’s last role before he passed away. That movie is a whole bunch of sad…
We stopped talking about it at some point?
How did Jean Claude Van Damme and Hilary Swank even get invited? I’m assuming they were hanging around more famous people hoping to be in the background of some pictures, and they overheard the invitation to the party and inserted themselves into the conversation, and things got really awkward, and Kadyrov was all “Oh, hey guys, I didn’t even see you standing there. Err, I guess you can come too. Bring a side dish, alright?”
I really do enjoy the list of invitees, attending and not. So incredibly random. Hillary Swank? Last name basically synonymous with off the hook bashes (what?!). Van Damme? “Damme this party is sick, yo!” Very obvious pun, but still! Kostner! He’s totally paid tha Kost to be tha boss, and now he’s ready to FUCKING PARTY! And Mendes! The line of men who are still trying to Mendes their broken hearts is around the corner, that bitch is a wet n’ wild party animal! ALL VERY OBVIOUS CHOICES!
pre-party: “I don’t know about Kadyrov, he seems to rule with brutal oppression rather than our consent”–Chechnya civilians
post-party: Did you hear that Kadyrov was partying with KOSTNER last night! Fuck water world, that dude was swimming in HENNESSY all night! 100 more years! 100 more years!”–Chechnya civilians
That picture of Jean Claude Van Damme looks like Edward James Olmos.
Edward James Olmos was invited.
Olmos, but not quite.
(i’ll show myself out.)
Nope, stay. That was awesome.
Wait, Kevin Costner is doing a TV series? This really is a human rights violation.
People can PAY stars to come to their parties?!?!? I’m gonna start saving! Now, the tricky balancing act between who I want and who I can afford . . . Rhea Perlman, or a Bradley Cooper impersonator?
Remember how those Russian billionaires fought on TV a few months back and called anyone who wasn’t a billionaire a loser? Well, I’d like to see this played out by celebs (publicly). I’m thinking the first fight should be Tom Cruise vs. Hugh Jackman over whoever doesn’t have a gay rumor is a loser?
http://www.guardian.co.uk/world/2011/sep/18/russian-billionaires-fight