The pairing of musicians and primarily Internet-based video advertising for random products is as old as time, I’m sure. And it doesn’t not make sense. For example, I doubt very many Rob Zombie fans were also very big Woolite users before he directed that Woolite commercial. And now look! They cannot get enough of that stuff. So the fact that a Method Man released a music video today for a song about what happens to the sour patch kids you don’t eat (which is that they play pranks on you, no duh, we all live on Earth, we all know what happens to the sour patch kids you don’t eat) should come as no surprise. Sure. Of course he’s rapping about candy coming to life and clogging your toilet, and then also about how good it is and how it is sour and then sweet while little sour patch kids dance around him. IT’S METHOD MAN, HELLO. But what I don’t understand is: Why the heck didn’t they make it A SLIGHTLY BETTER SONG?

This song is terrible! It doesn’t even have a memorable hook! Method Man, if you’re going to do something, at least put a little effort into it. You’re already doing it, you already look completely foolish. I’m all about buying sour patch kids already, so the advertising really means nothing, but if I weren’t already really into buying sour patch kids this video would have NO effect. I listened to it like one minute ago and I can’t even remember how it goes. Frankly, all I remember is that the bag is hard to open. Let’s go back to the drawing LogicPro on this one, HUH BOYS? You’re fired. Until you make a better song you’re fired. I fired you. (Thanks for the tip, Scott!)

Comments (19)
  1. This song left a bad taste in my mouth.

  2. I was going to watch this video, but then I got high.

    • “Yup, looks like the same guy to me” -Hank Williams Jr.

    • I got arrested a few times in high school for underage drinking and was sentenced to 40 hours of community service. The first day we had to clean up trash around the highway. The van that drove us opened all the doors and windows so we could hear the radio. “When I Got High” came on and all my fellow community service members, all strangers, dropped their trash picking sticks and started dancing. The officer yelled at everyone. It was great.

  3. This is great. You guys are wrong.

  4. Sour patch kids who hang out with Method Man are still less annoying than Weetabix that dance to dubstep.

  5. I predict a West Coast vs East Coast rapper beef. Ice Cube is coming out swinging with a Skittles rap.

  6. “Candy rules everything around me.” – Method Man, 2011

  7. Protect ya sour patch kids.

  8. Sour Patch kids will fucking, they’ll fucking sew an asshole closed, and keep feeding themselves to you, and feeding themselves to you, and feeding themselves to you . . .

  9. “I’ll stick to the deodorant commericals.” Redman

  10. Mom, this candy tastes like cheese….I feel funny….

  11. Should have written song for cheese instead

  12. “Then they had this one dude pullin songs about Sour Patch Kids out of his ass”

  13. I personally think Meth tried TOO HARD on the song. Like, these two verses are better than like 90% of actual rap these days… and they are about child shaped candy (burn?). It is a bad song idea in a bad commercial with a bad beat and a bad hook… and two verses that are entirely too creative for all of this bad. #eatemup

  14. I thought this was great. You guys need to smoke more weed.

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