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Diddy blog! Diddy blog! For his new blog, Diddy presents us with his “movie” (that’s what he calls it. A movie. Sure, Diddy. It’s a “movie”) for his new fragrance, I Am King.
“A brief in the impossible,” indeed.
This fragrance is dedicated to Barack Obama, Muhammad Ali, Martin Luther King and all you men out there who take care of your families and respect and treat yourself like the Kings that we are all.
Perfect. Hear that Barack Obama? Today’s probably the SECOND biggest victory of your life. If only Martin Luther King Jr. were alive to share in the glory. Also, Kings that we are all? Someone hired a copywriter who went to college to manage their YouTube Descriptions Empire! Except that a lot of us Kings we are not. Including you, Diddy. At best, you’re landed gentry. The Duke of NOTHINGHAM. I Am Zing.
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Wait ’til my great-great-great-great-great-great-great-great-great-great-great-great-great-great-great-great-grandfather hears about this one. BOY! He’s going to be mad. All that hardship and turmoil and uh… cross the Atlantic to get his family out from under the foot of the artistocracy and here we go electing a god damn KING to rule us all! If only I had known before casting a ballot.
Damn you for not telling us the truth King Obama! DAAAAAMMMNNN YOOOOOOOU!!!!!!!!
Wait, what?
Also, all your heart are belong to me.
Diddy is shit.