A University of Wisconsin student has recently been charged with a felony and given a 90-day jail sentence for putting eyedrops in her roommate’s water, drawing inspiration from what Owen Wilson did to Bradley Cooper (I think? I think it was Bradley Cooper? I haven’t seen Wedding Crashers in like three or four days so I’m a little rusty, usually I’m sharper than this) in Wedding Crashers. Of course. Very good. Well done. From the Daily Mail:

On ‘numerous occasions’ late last year Reichel placed Visine in a quart-sized water bottle used by Briannia Charapata, her 20-year-old roommate at her dorm. As a result of continually drinking the water, Ms Charapata began feeling ‘nauseated, suffered from diarrhea, loss of appetite and was tired for no reason’.

Usually putting non-food objects in people’s food and drink like they do in movies works out very well, so this is an especially sad case. I hope it doesn’t discourage other young students from putting insane things in their roommates’ food/drink for no clear reason except because it was in a movie they like, not that if there WERE a clear reason it would be fine, I’m just saying, that would be a real tragedy. But really those symptoms, aside from the diarrhea, let’s not be gross, but most of those symptoms are the symptoms I have just from trying to live life as a normal person in a world surrounded by people I’m too nervous to be around. So that doesn’t sound too bad. But then:

In January 2009, Tonia L. Peterson, of Missouri, was charged with first-degree assault after dumping a half a bottle of eye drops in her husband’s tea in an attempt to kill him. … Poison control personnel informed a detective that ‘enough visine would put a person in a coma with other severe symptoms’.

And also:

In June 2009, Denise Moyer, of Vermont, was arrested for third-degree assault after police were told she had spiked a co-workers drink with the drops a few days before she became ill and died.

Ahhh! Guys! We need to stop putting eye drops in all the drinks! This is nuts! What if we put them in our eyes and then some of it rolls down our faces and gets into our mouths?! How many times does that have to happen before we all die!?! Why are eyedrops allowed to even exist!? Why can ANYONE buy them?! Why is it so easy to die from them?! Why is everything about eyeballs so gross?! (Via Movieline.)

Comments (28)
  1. Why are eyedrops allowed to even exist!?

    Because pot, Kelly.

  2. “I’ve been putting eye drops in my soup for almost thirty years and I’ve never had a problem.” – Kate Capshaw

  3. Also, I thought Ben Stein was sort of a charmingly goofy character actor and subsequent to his becoming a spokesperson for eyedrops, it was revealed that he’s a niiiiiiiiiiiiiiightmare

  4. Wait, so she went above and beyond to have her roommate hog the bathroom, lack energy to clean, and never feel inspired to fill the fridge? Mine always did that without being poisoned.

  5. Has anyone else accidentally tasted Visine? Because that shit tastes TERRIBLE! I can’t even imagine drinking half a bottle of it, even in a cup of tea.

    • I want to tell you that this is the second time I have seen this image today because I was trying to find a cartoon with its eyes popping out for the Breaking Bad recap and I ONLY found humans with their eyes popping out and also this is horrible and a nightmare and thanks A LOT, Rara.

  6. Seriousgum: Eyedrops, when ingested, do not cause [the runs], apparently they cause some other [bad stuff], but not [the trots]

    “”Of the Visine poisoning cases studied by medical observers, we found none that mentioned diarrheal output brought about by the drug” [Source:snopes.com; seriously)

  7. Does any one remember in the 90s when some idiot tried imitating that scene in “The Program” where they lay down in the middle of the street as part of some football initiation thing? No? Just me? OK, cool.

  8. No offense to the research team of “Wedding Crashers” but whatever happened to just slipping someone a good ol’ fashioned laxative…These guys know what I’m talking about

  9. Kelly, I just found out that sperm, who are not that smart, will try to impregnate any cell they come in contact with. So next time someone gets a shot in the eye (I am so sorry), think about the sperm trying to impregnate their eye.

    /the horror

  10. In regards to Videogum Resolution #472 — Motion to not put eyedrops in the food or drink of other people. The eyes have it. Motion Carried.

  11. roofying your friends is still cool, though! at least until the threequel in 2013…

  12. “Amateurs.” – Brad “Prankster” Pitt

  13. 1. This exact thing happened at my high school like five years ago.
    2. I got to the University of Wisconsin-Madison now.
    3. I promise I’m not doing this, guys.

  14. Why didn’t I think of this when I’m constipated?

  15. Is it terrible that this barely seems like a surprise? When I was in college (100 years ago) there were three girls down the hall from me who tormented each other on a constant basis. After a while they had to check their bed before they got in them due to the never ending supply of tacks placed under the sheets and covers.

    The drama finally ended when one girl was sent to another room after she whipped an entire bottle of Malibu at their door. (The other two nightmares locked her out.) The hallway smelled like the Wave Pool at Water Country for a couple of days…

    Also…did liquid drano consumption go way up after Heathers was released?

  16. It’s kind of irresponsible to just randomly put something like that in a movie, without obviously doing any research into the actual effects. I wonder what some of the deleted scenes were: using a blowdryer while taking a bath?

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