Well, this is hilarious. From the Hollywood Reporter:

Aaron Sorkin, who penned The Social Network and The West Wing and co-wrote Moneyball, which will open in theaters next week, showed up at an Emmy event in West Hollywood on Friday with a broken nose. It turns out he injured himself while writing.

“I wish I could say I was in a bar fight, but I broke my nose while writing,” the Academy Award winning screenwriter told the Los Angeles Times. He said he was staring into a mirror, working on some dialogue, when he got too close and head-butted himself.

Naturally, the story ends there and no one ever bothers to ask Aaron Sorkin HOW ON EARTH THAT HAPPENS AND ALSO WHAT?! Working on some dialogue? “Got too close”? The journalists were just like “his story adds up.” They’re all writers, so they know this is definitely a thing that happens all the time that seems normal and realistic and that you can definitely just picture in your imagination because it’s almost TOO relatable and like a thing we’ve all experienced. “What, it’s called WRITING!” Admittedly, I once broke a tooth eating spaghetti (true) so maybe I am not one to talk. (I later rebroke this same tooth on a sandwich. Also true. My life is a waking nightmare.) Maybe I’m not even one to write. Wait, IS this a normal thing? DO I NOT KNOW WHAT ACTUAL WRITING IS LIKE? Totally possible. I have never broken my nose while “working on some dialogue” by “getting too close” to the mirror. (Still so funny.) Hack. Hahahahhahaaaack.

Comments (38)
  1. Every good writer spends at least 20 minutes a day trying to make out with his own reflection. It’s part of the process.

  2. maybe he has osteoporosis?

  3. The pen is mightier than the sword

  4. Been there, bro.

  5. “The writer in me took over.”

  6. “She just got too close to my fist” – Chris Brown

  7. Well, maybe he works just like his characters do – walking very quickly from one place to the next while having a snappy conversation about something else entirely and not really paying attention to where you’re going.

  8. He finally walked into a wall.

  9. It is because he writes by walking down a hallway dictating to someone walking beside him with a notepad. Then he tripped the end.

  10. I like how three of us made the same witty comment at the same time.

  11. Why would you even reference a mirror in your totally insane and fake story if you’re a known cocaine addict?

  12. I think the part they left out was that CGI smoke clouded his vision.

  13. Aaron Sorkin: “Now, let me start off by acknowledging the elephant in room. Well, let’s less acknowledge it , but instead go right up to the elephant, shake its hand and ask him what he does for a living. And it’s funny that I bring up and elephant, for this noble creatures most defining trait, beside its long lasting memory and unquenchable lust for peanuts, is its long, flexible trunk…

    [Seven minutes later]

    “…and so not to meander or belabor the point, and I do promise you that there is a point to this story, is that my nose, quite like the Republican controlled House, remains broken, but can and will be fixed in due course”

    Cashier: “Fantastic, but my question was did you want paper or plastic?”

  14. “Yeah, I hurt myself. I hurt mah nooooose.”

    -Kenny Powers (and now, Aaron Sorkin)

  15. As someone who broke their rib (twice) from coughing, I can believe this.
    I may have also cracked my nose on a towel rack, gotten a black eye from a doorknob, and been cruelly bruised by a shellacked picture of a pony.

  16. He should have paid closer attention to his fortune

  17. I believe him when he says a mirror was involved.

    • Although he left out the detail about the razor blade and the blow. Then again, editing is a very important part of writing, according to this book I’m reading, called ‘Writing’, so he probably left those details out for a reason.

  18. I think Aaron was probably doing that old thing where you FAKE like your about to suck down a sick rail of blow, and then you don’t, and he kept doing it over and over, and being all like, “PSYCHE,” and totally pissing off your blow buddy and making him so impatient and anxious he punches you right in the fucking nose, like, “TAKE YOUR BLOW, ALREADY, YOUNG MAN!”

  19. Gabe, did you break your tooth eating a KNUCKLE sandwich? Do you get it?

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