Coning is out. Anti-coning is in. Ice cream remains delicious!

Comments (26)
  1. The employee who preserves the ice cream is my best friend and my hero. I despise the people in the car and their ilk, god how much I despise them.

  2. Coning is beyond stupid, but I really really love it when random McDonalds employees declare things are “illegal.”

    • I love it when people will try to say anything to get some jackass to not film them, put it online because people think it’s totally okay to film or take people’s pictures and do whatever you want with it, and not get ice cream smeared on them while they mire through their misery shift at a misery factory.

  3. Kids today and their newfangled ways of receiving ice cream cones…

  4. This is tyranny. The Founding Fathers would have those anti-coners keelhauled and would preamble their asses right out the door.


  5. I’d love to see the memo that was spread around McDonald’s headquarters warning chain managers against the dangers of coning.

    Also, go to bed, internet.

  6. Does this mean I have to return all of my Coning equipment?

  7. Seriously, what the fuck is wrong with just paying for your ice cream and then eating it? (or, driving to one’s home and then eating it). Seriously, no one in these videos even deserves ice cream anymore. You lost those privileges, mister! Wait until your father hears about this!


      • Ice cream is meant to be taken seriously. Until a while ago, I was eating Ben and Jerry’s every damned night, and then I checked my bank account and now I don’t spend any money on anything, except that I allow myself to buy a cone every week or so (Chaka Khan’s mom? Bluebird Tavern stand on Church St. Incredible. Mocha-Vanilla twist…). I have been buying the children’s cone because it is massive for a child, but only costs a dollar-fifty, and been tipping the man well because he is friendly and likes my goddog. However, I have since made a terrible discovery: the man who works the afternoon shift is a worthless lout who does not get tipped, because the cone size would make a child look up to his father or mother, sadly, wondering why they hated them so, buying them such a small, teasing amount of ice cream (Chaka Khan’s mom? Only go when the dude with black hair who always needs to push his glasses up is working).

        • Ben and Jerry’s actually got me through my divorce. I found that the empty carton and puddle of melted ice cream I woke up next to each morning was much more comforting than any “wife”. It also made crying myself to sleep much easier.

    • I hate going to get ice cream then driving somewhere before eating said ice cream. If you are the driver you can’t even enjoy the ice cream because it starts melting and you are trying to drive. Don’t even get me started if it is a blazzard or some kind of sundae and you have to use a spoon too. If you are the paasenger you can’t enjoy yours because you are too busy helping the driver. What starts as an enjoyable post date/ sunday dusk delight quickly devolves into an awkward messy nightmare.

      • “What starts as an enjoyable post-date/Sunday dusk delight quickly devolves into an awkward, messy nightmare.”

        I made grammatical corrections not to mock, but because I actually wrote the same damned thing in my diary (do people have diaries? Do adult men have diaries?).

  8. Hey McDonald’s lady!

  9. has anyone gone to a mcdonalds yet and said, “In soviet russia, ice cream is cone!” ? probably a couple of (internet-)decades late on this one.

  10. For some reason I always assumed that “coning” was just when you grab the cone by the ice-cream and that’s pretty much it, and if I were a McDonald’s employee I wouldn’t really have a problem with it as long as it was your mess and all the ice cream ended up inside your car where it belongs. But the people the videos all seem to be expecting to get the ice cream thrown back at them, which is totally a dick move, and goes against what I always assumed was the proper spirit of coning.

    By the way, just letting you know, I have devoted a LOT of thought to what is the “proper spirit of coning.”

  11. The fads are spiraling too quickly into themselves! Let me offfffff.

Leave a Reply

You must be logged in to post, reply to, or rate a comment.