Apparently CBS has announced that it will be developing a modern update on Sherlock Holmes. Uhhhhh. Nice try, CBS? The BBC has already done that? It’s called Sherlock, innit. And it’s perfect, guhv.

Comments (24)
  1. This is a payphone idea in a smartphone world, CBS.

  2. Oh man. The amount that I already hate this is proportional to how much I love the BBC series (Hint: its LOTS). Poor show, CBS. Boo! Hiss! Other sounds of discontent!

    Needless to say, Martin Freeman does not approve.

  3. The only two Sherlocks I love are Jeremy Brett from the Granada Television series from the 80s and Benedict Cumberbatch.

    The only way that CBS could do a good job of it is if they admit that Sherlock is not supposed to be a likable character and he is not sexy (sorry RDJ), which I somehow doubt they will do. Also they would curry my favor if they only did all the really boring Holmes stories, which really make up like 65% of the canon.

  4. Since the BBC show airs on PBS here, this is one of those times when I wish PBS had the ad budget to go big–billboards across America: “CBS wants to update Sherlock Holmes? Been THERE. Done THAT. Eat our Cumberbatch.”

  5. “Coming soon, an original show to CBS!”
    “…said the liar.”

    • If its CBS, they have a format for this:

      Sherlock: “Clearly someone ground up shards of glass in this man’s breakfast, which tore up his canal and bleed him to death.”

      Watson: “Which canal, Sherlock?”

      Sherlock: *puts meerschaum pip in mouth* “Alementary, my dear Watson.”

      YEEEEEEEEEEEAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAHHHHHHHHHHHHHHH!

  6. It’s similar to the BBC one, but not the same. In the CBS treatment, Holmes gets his ideas from drinking 4Loko while doing that sport where you jump out of a plane wearing a parachute, but also wearing a snowboard. He also wears a ton of cage-fighting-inspired clothing and picks up mad ladies.

    We’re talking about the Ed Hardy boys, right?

    • I’m not defending CBS but they have a different kind of Lowest Common Denominator bullshit, that sounds more like if MTV or Spike had their own Sherlock Holmes series. Which sounds like a great idea, let’s just get every network to remake Sherlock Holmes and then only keep the best 15 after the first season!

      • Good point. How about this: it’s similar to the BBC one, but not the same. In the CBS treatment, my dad thinks it’s great and edgy.

  7. When you have eliminated the impossible, whatever remains, however improbable, must be the truth? Therefore, I have justly concluded that this show will blow donkey dick.

    Damn, had it until the end there.

  8. In the modern update he’s a curmudgeonly doctor with an opiate addiction who uses his analytical mind to solve (medical) cases, along with his friend Watson. But, to update it, they’ll slightly change the names, changing a few letters in the name Watson, and instead of Holmes, go with another word for home. Should make for a good hour long procedural. Probably could run for about eight or nine seasons.

    • I went to the Surgery Museum in Edinburgh (LADIES…) and there’s a whole exhibit about Arthur Conan Doyle and how he based the character of Sherlock Holmes on his professor in medical school. So it’s only a matter of time before someone watches House and goes “I think this would be an awesome show, but instead of solving medical mysteries he solved crime! Brilliant!”

  9. Make at once if original — if unoriginal make all the same.

  10. $2 says they will cast John Krasinski as Watson.

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