BACK TO SCHOOL! How was everyone’s first week of school? Pencil’s sharp? Erasers pungent? Chalk unbroken? Other school stuff? It is actually hard for some of us to even remember what school was like, it was so long ago. Do you still get there on muleback? Is lunch still griddle cakes and beans? How many eyes does your teacher have? MORE THAN ONE?! I guess things really have changed. Anyway, study hard. Hit the books. Grow up. Become a job. Die. That’s the gist of it. Good luck! Have a great weekend/life!

After the jump, the five Highest Rated comments, as voted on by you, the Lowest Rated comment, the winner of the Madonna Loathes Hydrangeas Contest, and the Editor’s and Associate Editor’s Choice.

This Week’s Highest Rated Comments

#5 Frank Lloyd Wrong | Sep 8th Score:53

I’ll just leave this here:

Posted in: Rick Perry Killed 234 People (APPLAUSE BREAK)
#4 Patrick M | Sep 2nd Score:55

“Play it, Sam. Play Ewok Celebration Theme…”

Posted in: New Dialogue That Was NOT Added To The Star Wars Blu Ray
#3 Dr. Feelgood | Sep 8th Score:60

“Confused? Good, now run with it” – The Bible

Posted in: Rick Perry Killed 234 People (APPLAUSE BREAK)
#2 Miss Rabbit | Sep 8th Score:61

How funny that the same political party that got so angry about imaginary healthcare death panels is now applauding the works of ACTUAL DEATH PANELS.

And by funny, I mean *gunshot*

Posted in: Rick Perry Killed 234 People (APPLAUSE BREAK)

[Assoc. Ed. Note: Great job, poptopoi! Grabbing both highest rated comment AND the caption contest win. That almost never happens! JK, it happens a lot. You should still be very proud, though. Great image. Ask all of your friends buy you drinks tonight and when they ask why explain it to them in great detail. Congratulations to the rest of you, too. We're all winners today, because the contest was to see who could have the most fun. Boooooooo, yaaaaaaaay!]

This Week’s Lowest Rated Comment


Chris Jones | Sep 8th Score:-36
No applause in the history of politics can match that of Nancy “Stretch” Pelosi during an Obama State of The Union. She sits behind him with that grin stretched across her surgically enhanced face and bobs up and down like a circus seal.
Posted in: Rick Perry Killed 234 People (APPLAUSE BREAK)

[Ed. Note: You know, there is a tendency on this site for people who post conservative viewpoints on the political posts to end up in the Lowest Rated at Monsters' Ball and sometimes it's unfortunate because sometimes it is just someone trying to argue a different opinion, which I would like to believe is the kind of thing that we all admire and respect around here. But in this case, you totally deserve it, Chris Jones. For one thing, it's basically just one long ad hominem attack about her face and body, which is gross and has nothing to do with, you know, the complications of trying to govern the world's richest nation. We can have different opinions about the best way to do that, but certainly limiting the debate to her face and walrus-body (which, what?) is not going to get anyone anywhere. But also, to compare the Speaker of the House applauding her party's president during the State of the Union, which is pretty typical regardless of who the Speaker or the President is as long as they are on the same "side," to applause over the execution of 234 human beings, and to actually suggest that this politician's applause for another politician's speech is worse simply because you disagree with their politics (which are built on a platform of plastic surgery and bouncing, apparently) is inane and depressing. Go away.]

This Week’s Caption Contest Winner

[Ed. Note: Congratulations, poptopoi! You earned it.]

This Week’s Associate Editor’s Choice


Chris Trash | Sep 8th Score:9

Hey, that kid’s a pretty good drummer. Can’t wait for some recess themed crust punk.

Posted in: Today Is The First Day Of School, Kid!
facetaco | Sep 8th Score:7

The only problem there is that his mom always cuts the crusts off for him.

Posted in: Today Is The First Day Of School, Kid!

[Assoc. Ed. Note: Hahah, ohh, you guys. I picked two comments this week because it was a back-and-forth. SUE ME, WHY DON'T YOU. Why don't you just sue me about it. Good luck. Until then I'd like to say: A regular Abtrash and Costaco, these two. Great job. ]

This Week’s Editor’s Choice

Lindsay Robertson | Sep 8th Score:3
I don’t know if I’m having a stroke or what but when I watch this I can SMELL THEM. 


Posted in: Goth Dudes Dancing To “Vogue”


Comments (46)
  1. Finish up your homework early so you have time to dance

  2. Hidden due to low comment rating. Click here to see

  3. It’s Friday and I have only one question for you:

  4. haven’t decided what im gunna do this weekend yet.

    option a) stay in bed all weekend watching more StoryCorps segments, crying and letting the terrorists win

    option b) go out to concerts, drink some coldbeer and watch football like a dick-swingin’, Rick Perry votin’ ‘Merican.

  5. guess what guys! they moved my desk yesterday and now I’m in the far corner with my computer facing a wall. No one can see what I’m doing! videogum all day!

  6. Hydrangeas are great! This is one of my new favorites, the flowers change color!

    Let’s see you do that, Madonna.


  8. This is actually the end of my THIRD week of school (hard times, I know), but I am excited for this weekend. I am going to see Fleet Foxes tomorrow and I hope I can get Robin Pecknold to sign my man boobs! I think this .gif accurately expresses my current state of mind:

  9. Thanks, Kelly! I’ll be sure to thank the scruffy dudes who live behind my house in the alley for introducing me to crust punk.

  10. Thank you, guys. As a recovering lurker, this award means a lot to me.

  11. I was robbed of my first ever highest rated comment placement! You need a 6th place.

    Great week though. MORE APPLAUSE FOR DEATHS, I simply can not get enough comment bait politicsgum.

  12. I’m just going to leave this here:

  13. Goin’ to Vegas. The roller coaster in New York, New York will be a ride I’ll NEVER FORGET.

  14. Why are people applauding the execution of murderers? Well, because murderers are being executed. (along with some unfortunate de facto non-guilty inmates. Hence why the death penalty is wrong)

    In a world where proof is 100% attainable, I would be in favour of the death penalty for murderers of innocents. State-sanctioned death of murderers who has breached the ultimate line in our social contract – the existence of life in other people – is a matter of debate, and some people quite obviously feel justice have been met.

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