Not to get all patriotic or whatever, but America is the best country in the world for comedy. We are the country of Buster Keaton, Bob and Ray, (early) Eddie Murphy, Arrested Development, and Louis C.K. England is a close second, but their stand up pales in comparison, and even their scripted comedy often has a little too much boom boom burlesque thrown in for fear of losing the octogenarian laughs.

That being said, we somehow have the absolute worst taste. What is wrong with us? I am not talking about you or me. We have great taste. If tastes could kill all our enemies would be dead. But America in general rarely appreciates the truly funny, and when it does, the recognition is a fleeting moment before America destroys that comedian or show with its insatiable thirst for watered-down garbage. See: (late) Eddie Murphy.

Which brings us to Jeff Dunham’s Very Special Christmas Special, which aired on Comedy Central earlier this week and was watched by 6.6 million people, making it the HIGHEST RATED TELECAST IN THE CHANNEL’S HISTORY.

OK. Congratulations to Jeff Dunham. But have you actually seen this thing? Clip after the jump, you guys, and apologies in advance.

Yikes isn’t even a strong enough word for what that is. HILLBILLY VENTRILOQUISM IS AMERICA’S FAVORITE? I feel like I’m trapped in that Ray Bradbury story about the guy who goes back in time to hunt dinosaurs and accidentally steps on a butterfly, forever altering the course of human history, except that instead of a butterfly the guy stepped on entertainment. Because apparently the entire progression of cultural development was for NAUGHT.

It doesn’t help that Jeff Dunham looks like an older Dane Cook.

I’m not angry, America, I’m disappointed.

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Comments (34)
  1. dafs  |   Posted on Nov 20th, 2008

    You’re not alone on this one. I remember when Comedy Central did this huge countdown of the BEST AS VOTED BY OUR VIEWERS. Number 2 was Mitch Hedberg, so I was all excited for number 1. Who could it be? It had to be someone phenomenal! I couldn’t think of anyone off the top of my head who I was impressed with as much as Hedberg, so this guy would have to be….Jeff Dunham? Seriously?

    I’m sure he’s a nice guy and his special IS funny, but I certainly don’t see what makes him THE GREATEST EVER. I think our country is feeling the crush of the recession so badly that we’re embracing Depression-era entertainment, and since Edgar Bergen is dead, we’ll have to settle for Jeff Dunham.

    • His special is not funny.

    • his special is not funny. it is the opposite of funny.

    • His special was very, very not funny.
      This honestly is the first video that this site has ever posted that has brought a frown to my face. Usually, I’m just like “haha, that’s so dumb” or “america, you guys”, but to watch that two minutes was to feel the life and happiness in my body be slowly drained. I was having a great day, too – I just finished my three exams. Thanks, gabe.

  2. It’s a REDNECK DUMMY. How can it even be remotely funny? You know those ads that say “20 million people can’t be wrong”. Well, in this case, 6.6 million people are wrong. The WRONGEST.

  3. maybe some people left their tvs on for the dogs?

  4. dafs  |   Posted on Nov 20th, 2008

    I’m so not used to being the least judgmental person in the room.

  5. Osito  |   Posted on Nov 20th, 2008

    I was complaining about just this special (or at least the 10 minutes of it I caught waiting for another show to come one) to a co-worker, expressing my disbelief at just how UNFUNNY it was – and my speculation that the audience must be drunk or 12 (or both).

    She sent me this link and I feel independently vindicated in my opinion. Jeese, that redneck puppet part is even worse than the part I *DID* see!

  6. christopher Heller  |   Posted on Nov 20th, 2008

    Wait a tick. No Canada? they should beat out england, c’mon brah.

  7. I think we can safely assume that with hipster culture the way it is, at least 3 million of those were people watching it ironically.

    Let’s see how many viewers Colberts Christmas Special gets. If it’s less than 10 million, I’m moving to Canada (which has some rather impressive improv)

    • My ex-boyfriend thought he was funny. One of the many reasons he is my ex. Dane Cook is also a reason.

      Oh, and you’re probably right about the hipsters, so THANKS ALOT HIPSTERS, not this non-funny ventriloquist thinks he’s the best, when he’s really the WORST.

  8. haha, i’m australian so this comes from a neutral place, and i’ve seen enough british standup to know it does not pale in comparison, in fact it kicks arse! America may have given us buster keaton but you also gave us the wayans brothers, methinks you are getting a bit too big for your britches!

  9. Elena  |   Posted on Nov 20th, 2008

    One time my sister claimed to have found this hilarious comedian, and showed me a clip of this guy. Because I love her I felt obligated to laugh, but I just could not make myself do it.

  10. It’s like the ending to Being John Malcovich where he makes puppets a thing, except instead of being written by Charlie Kaufman, this whole situation is written by Fozzy Bear

  11. stvspl  |   Posted on Nov 20th, 2008

    “simon.” “paula.” got a scream? really?

    …sigh

    applause after the marilyn manson joke?

    …hurt me

    “i peed on him”

    …end of civilization

  12. not dane cook  |   Posted on Nov 20th, 2008

    English Stand up sucks? try Jimmy Carr

  13. Apparently there are some 6.6 million people in this country that have been lobotomized. Let’s all think of them and their plight this upcoming holday season.

  14. Since when do people like ventriloquism? I thought that was something that we make fun of people from a long time ago for liking. Now WE’re the ones liking it? (Not we as in us, but Americans who make me ashamed)

  15. Morgo  |   Posted on Nov 20th, 2008

    Someone should find out if this guy is related to that tumor that killed Bill Hicks.

  16. Jeff Dunham is one of those comedians that you saw 2 years ago and said, “Hey, thats kind of funny and original,” but the next time you heard his voice you said “I will tear my own head off and eat it if that shit doesn’t stop right now”.
    His only good idea he ever had was walter, and even that gets really old really fast.

    • nicolas cage in a bear suit  |   Posted on Nov 20th, 2008

      oh man. everything you said is EXACTLY how i feel. i couldn’t agree with you more.
      i want to denounce everything this jackass does, but then i wonder… did i ever endorse him in the past? god i hope not.
      either way… i denounce everything this jackass does.

  17. The best ventriloquist in the world is worse than the worst regular stand-up comedian. This guy makes Carlos Mencia’s existence justified.

  18. A guy I know thought Akmed the Dead Terrorist was the best thing ever and asked me like a dozen times if I had seen it. I never have and I never will.

    He’s basically on suicide watch right now, so things worked out.

  19. Funny how being voted the best, this mediocre comedy thing has become the worst.

  20. Claire  |   Posted on Nov 22nd, 2008

    Dunham is really popular at my high school, much to my chagrin. The only thing worse than his comedy is hearing my classmates repeat it ad nauseam. I’m still waiting for the day that I can converse with my friends without “I kill you” being said.

  21. Bill Hicks should have been voted #1. I am no fan of Louis CK, but you could add people like Richard Pryor and George Carlin and Steve Martin to your list of awesome standup comics.

  22. jeff dunham might suck, but he brings in millions of dollars annually, upwards of $70 million last year. so clearly he’s connecting with those red states.

    special bonus fact: judd apatow started as a joke writer for jeff dunham.

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