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This is your mask. You wear it all the time. Every year, when people are trying to figure out Halloween costumes, you don’t even have to say anything, and no one asks you, because everyone knows you’re just going to wear your mask again, like you do every year. You wear the mask to dinner parties. People are like “Why is she wearing that horrifying mask?” The hosts shrug. No one knows the answer. “Well could you ask her to take it off, I can’t eat with that thing at the table.” You do not take it off. Not for anyone. You wear the mask to the grocery store, which is why you are never able to pick out the ripest melon. You wear it to movies and to baseball games. At night, when it’s time to go to bed, you hang the mask up on a nail in the closet, but most nights you wake up in a sweaty panic and put the mask back on. In the morning, when you wake up, you’re often clutching the mask with your sleeping hands, pushing it harder onto your face.
(Neatorama via BoingBoing)
I wish you would stop wearing your mask. There are children here.
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Gross. All I can think of while watching this is the Twilight Zone episode where a family wears masks to inherit their father’s fortune and then when they take the masks off their faces stay like that. *shudder*
lol that almost made me spit out my cereal onto my desk.
“never immerse or rinse in water or other liquids. do not submerge in apple juice, kool-aid, or canola oil.”
perfect.
But how do you get that funky face sweat and saliva smell out of it? I need answers!
i wish i ate my cereal before pressing play too
the blinking lights and vacant eyes… brilliant!
wait. my mom owned this when i was a child. no joke. when i was like 9. it’s probably in my house (across the country )somewhere.
It makes you look like one of The Strangers. Except real. Out of everything that happened today, I wish this didn’t.
omg i found one these at a yard sale in maine!!! i bought it, because i thought it was so creepy it would be great for some horror movie my 17 year old brain thought would be awesome. The one I had is light purple, it must be in my closet back home. The thing is is that there’s a gel pack that’s shaped exactly like the inside of the mask, kind of like an eye mask, but for your face. And then the whole thing vibrates and rejuvenates you or something. so, that might explain some things.
god, i love life.
This made me afraid.