It’s strange how, at least I feel like this is true, telling someone they make bad coffee is such a biting insult. “What’s the deal with people being so insulted about making bad coffee?” is basically what I’m saying in a Seinfeld voice right now. But really, WHAT’S THE DEAL? Coffee isn’t that easy to make very well and it is definitely easy to taste and say, “Oooh yeah that’s bad, you’re right.” I used to have to make coffee for this open mic every week, very cool, and every week EVERYONE would complain about the coffee, because it was the WORST. But I don’t think that was my fault. I think it was the coffee machine’s fault and also the fact that I never washed it. But washing it was not in the job description. But what I’m getting at is even though I knew it was the worst, it still felt very insulting having people tell me that every single week. That’s how I imagine the women in these commercials feel. Oh also oppressed.

Hey gals, aren’t you all glad we don’t live 50-60 years in the past? I mean I think we would all look a lot prettier, obviously, and we would all know how to be much more stylish and our lives would be unencumbered by jobs, yuck, gross, and no one would expect a lot out of us which would be freeing, and once you learned how to make a pineapple ham or whatever and whisky drink all you had to do was learn how to make coffee and wait for your handsome husband to show up and take care of you for the rest of your life, but what would you even use for a computer? God I can’t imagine living without computers. Those poor women.

PS: “Then you admit it! Your coffee really is murder!” is the best one. (Via reddit.)

Comments (31)
  1. If you really want to get in the 50′s vibe, watch the video while reading the Youtube comments.

  2. 50′s-style oppression aside, I actually think I’d be pretty annoyed if I worked all day to support someone and they couldn’t take the time to figure out how to make coffee. I mean, experiment a little while I’m at work, ya know?

  3. Pro Tip: If these women had just fed the coffee to their men in body shot form, there wouldn’t have been any complaints.

  4. This would make for an excellent episode of ABC’s 90s girl band show.

    “Honey for someone who calls herself ‘Miss World’ you sure make a lousy cuppa joe!”

    “Hey Carrie Brownstein, I need you to Call the Doctor…because this coffee is MAKING ME SICK”

    “Bikini Kill me! Because I hate your coffee.”

    nailed it.

  5. Pretty sure I still get one customer a day who says something like this at the coffee shop I work at. But it usually goes something like this “Hey, this coffee tastes awful. Oh wait, you’re a man. Could you get me the woman employee who made this coffee? Thanks.”

  6. Well, duh. Poison never tastes good.

  7. If only I had something to offer a partner aside from coffee!! Alas, it is not to be.

  8. Oh, there is also this gem.

    I prefer to think that the couple is like the people in Secretary, and that somehow bad coffee fits into consensual BDSM. It is the only way I will not cry forever, pretty much.

  9. How many takes did it take each of those women before they could refrain from throwing the coffee on the men and yelling “WELL MAKE YOUR OWN FUCKING COFFEE, THEN, ASSHOLE!” Because I think it would’ve taken me like 35 takes and 3 valiums to not do that.

  10. If I were in charge of advertising coffee, I would have less of this, and more of coffee-themed parodies of Cranberries song. In your cuuuuuuuuup, in your cuuuuuuup, coffee, coffee, coffee-ee-ee. #sterlingcooperdraperprycetaco

  11. To be fair, I think women having to raise the children, clean the house, do the laundry, wash the dishes, and make dinner every night is a very reasonable punishment for making bad coffee.

  12. Husbands were just more honest back then. AM I RIGHT, ASSHOLES?

    • I will take this opportunity to post my favorite advertisment ever. It’s not quite as awful as some of the older ones, but this one gets points for the fact that it is actually still being used today. Seriously.

  13. Where are all of the “grounds for divorce” jokes? Oh, just in this comment? Very well, then.

  14. II like how the quality of the coffee is entirely the burden of the wife. If my coffee was terrible I’d probably think “What’s wrong with my water?” or “What shitty brand of coffee is this?” not “Clearly the person who put those two things in the machine DID IT ALL WRONG

  15. These women just need a little Dale Cooper in their life

  16. But how do they feel about their milkshake?

  17. Listen I’ve never tasted a lady’s “coffee” and really have no desire to. #straightpeople! #gross!

  18. Hell’s Bells, Trudy!

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