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Guys, stop whatever you are doing, and you might want to sit down for this. We have got a BREAKING NEWS story that you CAN’T AFFORD to miss. Remember how Col. Muammar el-Qaddafi’s whereabouts are still unknown as civil war continues to rage in Libya? Well FUHGETTABOUTHAT. Here is some real news: Cameron Diaz, uh, yeah, THAT Cameron Diaz, reportedly “can’t stand” Jennifer Lopez. I KNOOWWWWW! From ONTD:

Word from the set of Cameron Diaz and Jennifer Lopez’s new movie What To Expect When You’re Expecting is that the pair can’t stand each other.

Holy shit. GOOSEBUMPS. Shivers. Shivers and goosebumps. This is some pretty powerful stuff. Apparently, Jennifer Lopez is being very demanding on the movie set, and down-to-Earth Cameron Diaz is sick of it. I’m not even sure whose side to take! I mean, on the one hand, Cameron Diaz IS down-to-Earth, she’s almost TOO regular of a person, but on the other hand, Jennifer Lopez is a “diva,” so of course she’s going to act like one. The worst part is just imagining how hard this must be for Brooklyn Decker, whoever that is, you know? Man oh man. What a tense fight! Very important! We will continue to bring you feel mildly disgusted and annoyed by breaking updates on how Cameron Diaz feels about Jennifer Lopez AS THEY ARE REPORTED!

Comments (31)
  1. Perhaps Cameron Diaz just isn’t ready for that Gigli.

    • I ALSO thought that picture of J-Lo looked like Beyonce…seriously

    • I’ve always found Diaz’s career inexplicable. She’s a distractingly bad actress, has no comedic timing and is weird looking (I know, I know, internet commentor talking about the attractiveness of actresses, so cliche. But let’s not pretend that most actresses careers aren’t at least in part due to hotness).

      It seems like she’s in flop after flop after flop but they keep letting her star in moves? I guess that Something About Mary is still getting her roles, although she is easily the worst thing about that movie.

      • Agreed. But I don’t get J Lo either. She’s a much worse fashion designer and singer than she is an actress. And she’s not really a good actress. And she has also been in a loooooong string of flops.

        Maybe they both realized that they’re the same person and they can’t occupy the same space in the same universe at once or it will erupt the space-time continuum (or something nerdy like that).

      • I had this discussion yesterday. We determined that she was excellent in Very Bad Things and Being John Malkovich, so there’s SOME sort of potential for greatness there.

        • True, although in Being John Malkovich she’s basically doing the opposite of everything she normally does, kind of like Nicholas Cage in Adaptation. Something about Spike Jonze moves brings out the good in otherwise terrible actors (not that Nic Cage isn’t entertaining, just usually he’s insanely over the top and in Adaptation he kind of actually seems like a human being).

  2. Esta pelea es muy picante! Aye dios mio!

  3. Finaly, the Dorothy Parker/Clare Booth Luce grudematch of our time!

  4. 15 years ago, the idea of a fight between Jennifer Lopez and Cameron Diaz would have excited me in a much different way than it does now.

  5. They’re making a movie out of an instruction manual? What’s next, board games?

  6. When you say that Cameron Diaz “is almost TOO regular of a person,” you DO mean that she’s an idiot. Right?

    • On a side note, whenever I hear about Jennifer Lopez being a diva, I always have this vision of her using her babies as shields to defend herself from harm’s way. Kind of like Martin Sheen in “The Dead Zone.”

  7. In the above photo, Cameron Diaz is total this face:

  8. We know that Cameron Diaz is so down-to-earth because everybody keeps telling us about all the fart jokes she makes. I don’t know if Jennifer Lopez has ever farted, much less made jokes about it!

    • Would you rather hang out with a bitch who never farts at all, or a nice person who is constantly farting? It is the question of our age.

  9. You missed the absolute best quote of the article/year: “‘Cam thinks J-Lo’s a nightmare and gives movie stars a bad name.”

    Rare miss, Gabe.

  10. The star of ‘The Wedding Planner’ vs. the star of ‘The Box’! Who will win? Two women enter, one woman leave! Thunderdome and such!

    Side note: ‘What to Expect When You’re Expecting’ is an awful title for a film, much less a book that’s been around for 70+ years. Maybe shorten it to ‘What to Expect’? You know they’re considering it. Those Hollywoodies I mean.

  11. it’s Long Beach vs. NYC all over again.

  12. Stars: They’re just like us!

  13. Yall hoez need to chill. (Cameron Diaz looks mad busted up in that pic hahaha)

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