Understandably, Jim Carrey’s vlog about Emma Stone was one of the HOTTEST stories on the ‘Net yesterday, because everyone loves a shaky-cam trainwreck. And make no mistake, that thing was a capital TRAIN TRAINwreck. Many people argued that it was just a “joke,” which I have not heard back from the OED people yet, but I am pretty sure everyone who said that is using the word “joke” wrong, and other people used the even more condescending argument that they can’t believe anyone thinks he’s serious. Well, sure. It has less to do with thinking he’s serious and more to do with WHAT WAS HE THINKING? It is now almost 48 hours since he posted the video and it is still completely unclear WHAT THE HELL IS THAT VIDEO?! Of course, with a Viral Buzz like this one (namely, the Viral Buzz of a 49-year-old man telling a 22-year-old how good their sex would be, also camping) you know Jim Carrey’s representatives will have to respond, and they have. From MSNBC:

While his words may have raised eyebrows to some, a rep for the star said it’s all meant in good fun. “It’s a comical love letter,” Carrey’s rep told Access when asked about the video.

Hahahha. Wait, WHAT? That’s the response? Look, to their credit, they didn’t just say “it was a joke,” because that’s kind of what you would expect, and that response would not explain “WHAT IS THE JOKE?” There is literally nothing funny about that video. Nothing. It’s gross and weird and inappropriate and unnecessary and it is lots of things but it’s not funny. But at least if they had just said “it was a joke,” I would have understood what those words meant. WHAT IS A COMICAL LOVE LETTER?! I can imagine what a “comical love letter” is, but at the end of the day, THAT IS STILL A LOVE LETTER. So, you know, NOT A JOKE. In which case all of the things about how disgusting and weird this whole thing is STILL APPLY. Ugh. So gross. And then Carrey himself had this to say:

Carrey also tweeted about the video, writing, “Yes, my msg to Emma Stone was a comedy routine and the funniest part is that everything i said is tru.”

AY-AY-AY! My head is literally spinning around so fast that the neck is all twisted up like a Twizzler and yoops POP, there it goes. Well, since the OED people haven’t gotten back to me on the official definition of the word “joke” yet, I would like them to please add “comical love letter” and also “comedy routine” to the list of words we all need help with because clearly they mean a lot of different things to a lot of different people. Comedy routine. I AM SURE. Haha. Comedy routine. GOOD COMEDY ROUTINE, MAN! “And the funniest part is that everything I said is tru.” YOU HEARD HIM, BOYS!

“Here, why don’t you cover yourself with this towel and have a seat, Jim.”

SSSSSSSSSSSSSSSSSSSSSSSMGO TO JAILIN’!

Comments (46)
  1. I wonder if this will be followed up by a threatening love letter from Emma Stone’s attorney.

  2. Everyone knows that this is the ONLY “comical love letter” that carries any weight.

    http://i.huffpost.com/gadgets/slideshows/17000/slide_17000_236127_large.jpg?1314365989144

  3. Creepy video blog? Pedophilia? Unnecessary abbreviations of already-short words? I think Jim Carrey is just trying to demonstrate proper use of the internet.

  4. LOSSEERRRRRRR! LOOOO-HOOO-HOOOOSER!

  5. Maybe he could just go up to her at the dance, and be like “hey, you wanna dance?” like it’s a joke, but she might actually dance with him. I don’t know, it’s not a very well though-out plan.

  6. Damnation. I had $5 on ‘social experiment’.

  7. I don’t know, you guys, I think this was a pretty funny and well-executed joke. Bravo, Mr. Carrey!

  8. once when i was in high school, my picture was featured in a local newspaper. the next week my school counselor handed me a letter. it was like a six page letter written by some guy in prison telling me how good looking he was and how he was the right guy for me. six pages – front and back – no joke.

    that was less creepy than this.

  9. Oh Jim Carrey, that’s enough, let’s put down the camera and make ‘Bruce Almighty 3′. Or would it be 2? Does ‘Evan Almighty’ kind of count as being ‘Bruce Almighty 2′? These are questions I have for you. Put down the camera and answer my questions.

  10. “It was only a joke.” -Jim Carrey and too many other creepy men who don’t seem to be held responsible for their words and/or actions

  11. Ugh why must I look at that eye raping picture of him again?

  12. I think Jim Carey may also be sending us video messages from the future:

  13. A+ Gabe!

    That video is the kind of thing stalkers send to their victims before they murder them. Emma Stone’s lawyer should use this as ‘Exhibit A’ when she gets a restraining order on him.

    • This comment seems harsher than I meant for it to sound.
      I’m not saying that Jim Carrey is a murderous stalker I’m just saying that he certainly has the eyes to be one.

  14. She’s 22. According to the standard n/2 + 7 rule, it would be totally appropriate for her to be boffing a 30 year old. In case you were wondering.

  15. But wait, Gabe is like 97 years old and he called Emma Stone “the one that got away”. How is THAT not creepy? It’s because old men are cute.

  16. The defense would like to present every serious love letter I have ever written as evidence of the existence of “comical love letters.”

  17. It’s a comedy routine… until it works, then it’s just gross.

  18. I keep reading the phrase as “cosmic love letter,” which would make it so much b… nope, still creepy.

  19. On the internet, nobody knows you’re Jim Carrey … unless you vlog.

  20. I’m still waiting to hear Jenny McCarthy’s response.

  21. Honestly, he directed it at Emma Stone, but I feel like I need to get a restraining order over here.

  22. So then how do we reconcile the fact that Roger Ebert is THE BEST with the fact that he came to Carrey’s defense?

  23. Please. If you’re gonna tell Emma Stone that you want to have sex with her you should be a man about it and insinuate it straight to her face in your Golden Globes introduction speech, like Robert Downey Jr.

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