harrison_ford_got_milk

Uhhhh. Well, OK, let’s start at the beginning: it is already weird that there are ads for milk. Right? Are there really that many people out there who have not heard of this whole milk thing? Or, even weirder, are there people who basically knew about milk but kind of forgot and then are seeing these ads and thinking “Oh yeah, milk. I used to love that stuff!” Like, just in general, what’s up with advertising milk? But so, OK, about this ad specifically: HAHAHAHHAHAHHAHA. You know what I mean? HAHAHHAHAHHAHAH. Right? Who is this ad FOR? Children are not impressed with Harrison Ford. “Honey, drink your milk.” “I don’t want to.” “Would you want to if I told you that a 79-year-old man who wears a single earring drinks milk?” “XBOX!” Basically. I guess adults like Harrison Ford, but first of all that brings us back to the whole WHY DO ADULTS NEED ADS FOR MILK THING but also the part where why is he on a beach? And also, just, what, like, thumbs tucked in your jean pockets and so lowkey and casual but then a big milk moustache smeared across your face, and you’re just like, “what?” Actually, he doesn’t look like “what?” he looks like “I’m the most confused I’ve ever been, what is this?” Good question, Harrison. WHAT IS THIS? Here’s a good joke:

What did Harrison Ford say to the milk moustache?
GET OFF MY FACE!

Caption this milk commercial! Winner will receive special placement in this week’s Monsters’ Ball, for strong bones. (via Max Silvestri.)

Comments (124)
  1. I need to drink milk because of my osteoperosis, also who am I and what are you doing on my lawn?

  2. Nice moustache. Now don’t get cocky, kid.

  3. I think it’s strange that he has milk instead of harr below his nose.

  4. Unfortunately, having a white upper lip is a serious side-effect of nerf herding.

  5. What a wonderful source of calcium you’ve discovered!

  6. Also that is the fakest looking milk mustache ever
    Ad Exec One: We need to make Harrison look like he drank milk.
    Ad Exec Two: I know, we’ll use this white out.
    Ad Exec One: Perfect! Another round of gold flavored champagne shots

  7. Milk: “I’m good for you.”
    Ford: “I know.”

    • I am a 26 years old nurse, young and beautiful. Now I am seeking an older gentle man who can give me real love , so i got a username Annababe2011 on—a’ge’l’es’s’da’te. C óM—it is the first and best club for y’ounger women and older men, or older women and younger men,to int’eract with each other. Maybe you wanna ch’eck it out or tell your friends.

  8. No rickets.

  9. Hokey religions and ancient weapons are no match for a glass of milk at your side, kid.

  10. My facecloth was not stolen by a one-armed milkman.

  11. I just want to know why so many people are so bad at drinking milk that it’s become their national advertising campaign for the last 20 years. Maybe just open your mouth even a little so it doesn’t end up all over your face? Now you’re drinking!

  12. why is it always milk?

  13. Got Depilatory Cream?

    Um…not that I would need that. WHY ARE YOU ALL LOOKING AT ME?

  14. I ALREADY MILK AROUND THE CLOCK.

  15. Drinking milk will help you grow at point five past light speed.

  16. Got milk? Seriously. My bones are so brittle.

  17. Marion: “You’re not the man I knew ten years ago.”
    Indiana: “It’s not the years, honey. It’s the milk.”

    • I am a 26 years old nurse, young and beautiful. Now I am seeking an older gentle man who can give me real love , so i got a username Annbabe2011 on—a’ge’l’es’s’da’te. C óM—it is the first and best club for y’ounger women and older men, or older women and younger men,to int’eract with each other. Maybe you wanna ch’eck it out or tell your frie’nds.

  18. “HAHAHAHAHA! *WINKY FACE* Don’t put it on me, Harrison! HAHAHAHA! MMMHMMM” -Courtney Stodden

  19. leia: “You drank all the milk Han.”
    han: “I know.”
    (cue vapor)

  20. When did I become so old that ads about me stopped making reference to Star Wars?

  21. KALI-MOO

    • I am a 26 years old nurse, young and beautiful. Now I am seeking an older gentle man who can give me real love , so i got a username Annababe2011 on—a’ge’l’es’s’da’te. C óM—it is the first and best club for y’ounger wo’men and older men, or older women and younger men,to int’eract with each other. Maybe you wanna ch’eck it out or tell your frie’nds.

  22. The first three Harrison Ford milk ads were roundly praised by critics and the public, but the fourth, some time after the first three and featuring the disembodied milk moustache of Shia LeBeouf, was not embraced so kindly received

    • “Capu Flapu, did you not know that using Videogum after several rum and cokes can lead to comments with poor grammar? And may even lead to a severe case of putting-an-extra-word-where-no-word-was-needed-itis?”
      “I LOVE YOU, MAN”

    • Did you know milk in a refrigerator can withstand the blast from a fucking atomic bomb

      • Hidden due to low comment rating. Click here to see

  23. Take it easy, he’s just a messenger. He brought you a drink.

    Quick, name that movie reference!

  24. it’s better than the crystal skull.

  25. Boniva? More like Bone-iva. Am I right, ladies?
    Ladies?
    Hello?

  26. “Ritz….RITZ! RITZ!”

    “Mr. Ford…it’s milk, not crackers”

    “RITZ!”

    “Cut!”

  27. With milk he ran the cookie run in twelve parasecs.

  28. “No, Harrison. You need to look a little more confused for this ad. We want to say, ‘I’m old, I need milk.’” -Photographer

  29. I thought this one was nice compared to some of the more recent ads…

  30. Shia LaBeouf can’t even grow a milk moustache.

  31. the ad’s director’s cut has the voice over. “Got Milk?…because they don’t advertise for killers in the newspaper…”

  32. Hidden due to low comment rating. Click here to see

  33. Harrison Ford: Captain of the Milk-ennium Falcon

  34. GET OFF MY PLANE!

  35. “Want to do an ad for Milk?”
    “What’s it about?”
    “200k”
    “I’ll do it.”

  36. Shorty, where’s my milk razor

  37. “Just take the picture kid. I’ve got to get home and put non-food on the table.”

    (It’s funny because he’s romantically linked to Calista Flockhart.)

  38. Nothing comes between me and my Wranglers.

  39. Can’t wait for Malcolm Mcdowell’s “Got Milk” ad.

  40. Han drank first.

  41. That milk mustache is still more respectable that his earring.

  42. Not a caption, but just realized Harrison Ford is the only actor to have both of his names be president’s names and have played the president. The more you know.

    • wow, knowing really is half the battle!

      • I am a 26 years old nurse, young and beautiful. Now I am seeking an older gentle man who can give me real love , so i got a username An’nababe2011 on—a’ge’l’es’s’da’te. C óM—it is the first and best club for y’ounger women and older men, or older women and younger men,to int’eract with each other. Maybe you wanna ch’eck it out or tell your frie’nds.

    • I remember back in the 80′s when I was on the Videogum hotline with the winning Harrison Ford comment. Unfortunately, I lost all 10,000 upvotes when I couldn’t answer through a mouthful of peanut butter.

  43. Milk shot first

  44. Looks like Greedo DID shoot first!

  45. Wow! 2 videogum caption contests featuring Harrison Ford! Werttrew, has there been any other person featured twice in the caption contest?

  46. “Only the lactose tolerant man shall pass, only the lactose tolerant man shall pass!”

  47. The Germans are milking in the wrong place!!

  48. Gabe: “Would you want to if I told you that a 79-year-old man who wears a single earring drinks milk?”
    Me: “MORGAN FREEMAN?!?!?!?”
    Gabe: “no, Harrison Ford.”
    Me: “no thanks.”

    • i wish i could tell you he milked the good milk, and the bone diseases left him alone. i wish i could tell you that, but the dairy farm is no fairy tale world.

  49. When did Tommy Lee Jones and I become the same person?

  50. Guys, know that no matter who wins the caption contest on here the true winner will be the co-worker who passed by my computer as the pic was up and said “is that Harrison Ford? What happened to him? Did he die?”.

  51. We sure this isn’t an elaborate viral marketing campaign for a’ge’l’es’s’da’te. C óM?

    They do know a thing or two about subtlety….

  52. Air Force One Percent

  53. “Got sea foam?”

    • “9 out of 10 Hollywood actors aren’t drinking sea foam. That’s good, but 1 out of 10 Hollywood actors are still drinking sea foam.”

  54. Must have run out of Just for Men.

  55. Throw me idol, I’ll throw you the whipped cream!

  56. Fake and whey.

  57. Remember my whip? I was so good at whipping! This is a whip commercial, right?

  58. GOT ORAL CONTRACEPTION?
    Harrison Ford: Clarissa Flockhart transmitted a strange new STD to me: the discoloration began in my tongue, spread to my top lip… Doc says it’s gonna take over my face, and then the rest of me too. Protect yourself.

  59. Skim. Why did it have to be skim?

  60. The photographer told my my milk mustache was special. No expiration date.

  61. Action, indeed (amirite ladies!?!)

  62. His face here is like the Mona Lisa – I honestly can’t tell if he’s trying not to laugh or completely pissed off (or slipping into early dementia).

  63. Hokey religions and ancient weapons are no match for a good glass of milk at your side, kid.

  64. Hey milk…..get…off…my….lip. (ratcheting shotgun sound)

  65. Shouldn’t the milk be blue?

  66. More than 9 out of 10 Americans didn’t see “Six Days, Seven Nights”; and they were the lucky ones.

  67. Holy sHIT, is Ally McBeal pregnant?

  68. No time for napkin, Docta Jones!

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