Videos on the internet aren’t always labeled in ways that accurately reflect their content. Kind of like what Gabe discussed last week, but in this case it’s more just about how different people can look at the same video and view it in different ways. For example, the person who posted this video, in its title, said something about this spider being “adorable.” Now, I knew it was a video of a spider and that there was basically a 0.1% chance of it ACTUALLY being adorable. Because spiders, as well as all other bugs, are the scariest and grossest things on the planet. But I watched it anyway because there wasn’t a 0% chance, it was 0.1%, and sometimes life surprises you, but only if you let it. So I watched this video and of course it is scary and not adorable at all, ugh, man it is gross, and the title of the actual clip does tell you that it is a video of a spider hiding itself, but, I really think that everyone involved in this scenario so far really missed out on the major selling point of this particular disgusting, scary spider video.

Did you watch it? There’s a spoiler in the next sentence:

IT’S NOT ON A TOWEL!!!!!! Whaaaaaaaaaat. This guy knows what I’m talking about:

I definitely thought that was a towel the entire time I was watching it! Even when it started throwing stuff over itself I thought, “How is it disappearing into that towel???!” And the spider disappearing into a towel was A LOT more impressive than a spider throwing salt or whatever onto itself. We can all cover our heads in salt when we want to hide! But we can’t all disappear into a towel. And neither can this spider. That’s the important thing to take away from this video. (Via reddit.)

Comments (34)
  1. You thought it was a towel? I was guessing tuffet all the way.

  2. What if it was a towel after all? GAAH!

  3. I was hoping that the surprise would be that somebody blows up the spider, or it stops being a spider and becomes a kitten hugging a teddy bear.

  4. Looks like that little arachnid was severely….

    ::sunglasses::

    assaulted.

    YEAAAAAHHHHHHH!!!

  5. Dammit, Shyamalan.

  6. The actual twist is that this entire video took place in my paperweight:

  7. So this is what Hollywood meant, when it said the Spiderman films were getting a gritty reboot….

  8. So, giant spiders cannot hide inside your towels? Does that mean I don’t need to shoot myself in the face? Are we sure about that? I want to be sure, because if giant spiders actually CAN hide inside towels, then there’s really no point in me NOT shooting myself in the face. Not shooting myself in the face would be a huge waste of time, if giant spiders can hide inside towels, is basically what I’m saying.

  9. If you have ever stayed at a Red Roof Inn, then you are already well aware that spiders actually love hiding in towels if given the opportunity.

  10. For the record, I realized it was sand right away and thought the way the spider covered himself up was adorable. I especially liked the part where he shimmied side to side in attempt to burrow into his shallow hole.

  11. Kelly set this video up just right to scare me. “You think it’s harmless… you just wait…” I felt like I was watching the girl climb the cobwebby staircase to the attic door in the horror movie, where you KNOW something is going to happen that makes you jump, and you get all psyched out knowing that, and yet when it happens, you JUMP, and you think “I am an idiot,” and “why do I do this to myself?” So yeah, basically my experience of watching this video was rising fear. I felt sure that at the last second the spider was going to eat someone’s eyes, possibly mine.

    I was relieved it did not. And disappointed? Something akin to disappointed.

  12. Also, I am pretty sure the Latin name of this spider translates as “sick terror.” I took French, so I know.

  13. Charlotte’s Webcam?

  14. You look like a hand, sir.

  15. Hidden due to low comment rating. Click here to see

    • …and trolls are ugly little men who live under bridges ;)

      • Hidden due to low comment rating. Click here to see

        • Also – breaking the one word per post limitation I’ve imposed on myself – it seems like you’re going through a difficult time in your life, or something? You’re obviously not stupid but what does THIS accomplish, what you’re doing here? I’m not saying DON’T fuck with Videogum because it’s a sacrosanct community, because it’s not. I’m just saying, ferns, ferns, ferns….

          *gets lost wandering in a fantasy of stroking ferns*

          Ferns! Keep it together!

          *slaps ferns*

          Sheesh. I’m just saying, maybe bugs have rights within their own bug civilizations as decreed by their various bug parliaments but unless you have the hard data to back that up, maybe this isn’t the best place to get all pissed off that bugs don’t have the same rights as humans? Unless you are going to do so in a humourous way, which could be quite humourous?

          Also, not everything is about you, just in case the picture I posted above flew like a BUG (haha, see what I did there?) over your head.

          You are not the angry, vibrating centre of the universe.

  16. The picture’s not displaying for me. Are we still talking about this?

    It accomplishes that I have a place to anonymously vent all of my frustration (ALL OF IT) at something I used to love, then hated, then started to like again, and now completely hate but want very much to enjoy. But really it’s either this (spewing hatred all over the internet about things that actually matter to me – I’m an entomologist) or doing this in real life at real people.

    And I didn’t want anyone to think I was the centre of the universe. But know that I am angry and vibrating.

    I guess I really just dislike Kelly’s writing.

    So I’m not sorry for swearing and indulging in every whim online. But if you’ve never encountered people that say these things in comment portions of blogs before then I need to ask (and this is kind of a joke, but also serious): is this your first time on the internet?

    • I wish it were, my good sir. I miss those innocent days.

      The internet is a good place to spew bile as an alternative to spewing it in the real world, for sure. I’ve done it and I assume that everyone who’s ever commented on any kind of forum must have done it at some point. But it’s not harmless to spew it here. Some people do take this stuff seriously, and since your target is the freshly-hired junior editor of this site, I think she might take it a bit more to heart than maybe you meant her to. Not everybody goes onto the internet wanting to Bloodsport and what I – and I assume most other people who frequent this site – enjoy about this place is that people generally DON’T use this as an arena in which to destructively vent their issues anonymously. So while I can see your point, I don’t think this is an appropriate venue for you to work through whatever it is you’re going through, unless you’re just trying to piss people off because I’ve done that too but it just feeds the cycle, you know?

      There must be some kind of work for an entomologist out there. I don’t like bugs very much but I do find their behaviour interesting so I’d assume that someone who combined in themselves the liking of bugs and ALSO the finding of their behaviour interesting AS WELL AS an educated perspective on said behaviour would be a hot commodity somewhere. So don’t give up. There’s a place for you in this world and it’s probably a lot better than the hole in the wall you’re imagining for yourself right now.

      Take care and I’m sorry for this late reply but, you know, life.

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