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The furor over Kim Kardashian’s wedding to Kris Whatever this weekend is completely mind-boggling. I just straight up do not even get it. What? What is it? How is this a thing?! In the spring, I made a lot of jokes about the Royal Wedding, but the truth is that at the end of the day, I do understand how people might be curious about or even genuinely kind of care about the Royal Wedding. We no longer live in a world of kings and queens, not really, but we do live in a world that remains steeped in the fascination with, obsession over, and longing for extraordinary wealth and privilege and all the pomp that comes along with that. So, sure. But this fucking wedding? Kim Kardashian is famous because she MADE A SEX TAPE with BRANDY’S BROTHER. That is clearly as legitimate as any reason for becoming famous because the bar is so low on that whole thing at this point that you would have to rent James Cameron’s tiny submarine to find it (LOL, good joke, Hi, James Cameron!) but it does not explain why actual Americans would now care about her wedding. She has been a punchline for the past five years, which is also the amount of time that we have collectively had any idea who she even was. It’s been a joke from the very beginning, through the Ray J nonsense and then the reality shows and her weird non-celebrity-celebrity family and her stepfather’s melting biscuit face and sketches on Saturday Night Live. And now all of a sudden we are supposed to pretend that her marriage, which is so obviously not going to last that it actually HURTS, is something that is interesting and valuable and genuine and worthwhile to our society? COME FUCKING ON.
Anyway, if you were all wrapped up in the news of these wonderful, sacred nuptials as they leaked out across the Internet this weekend, you are welcome to talk about it here because this is still America, but you should also feel free to talk about literally ANYTHING ELSE IN THE WHOLE WORLD because I am pretty sure that no matter what it is it will be more interesting.
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This is more horrific than any ghost or ghoul Scooby and the gang ever faced. Thanks (no thanks) for the new nightmares I will be having this week. Ugh.
Politics
It’s an optical illusion. Neither of those figures ever more away from the extreme right.
I didn’t even know this happened. If only I had some way to keep up with her family.
If it weren’t for websites and TV shows making fun of the Kardashians, I would have no idea who they were. Does anybody actually watch their show(s)? It seems like they continue to exist solely because they make easy punchlines for late nite hosts.
Since I am a lady, and I go to a gym location that is only for ladies, so naturally the E! Channel is basically constantly playing. I swear, however, that they are always playing the SAME episodes of that show. And I say this, sadly, because I watched em.
My ladygym has all news playing on one side of the room, and E! and Lifetime on the other side. No matter where I go, I can never run fast enough to escape from what is playing
.
That’s awful! I run in front of the TNT tv so I can stare at David Boreanaz (in either Bones or Angel) and the WInchester boys. Though sometimes I have to suffer through Charmed..
Chet Haze Played a Set in Chicago. That was something. (Blog Forthcoming)
We #GOTHAZED
So I’ve just been driving a lot. Yes, Alpha Romeo. Vroom. First to four in under sixty seconds. GEARS. Dig it.
So…
What do we do know?
Sit here and be jealous that you’re driving an Alfa Romeo.
I watched the movie You Again this weekend. Honestly, I’d rather talk about the Kardashians. I may be biased because of Veronica Mars, but Kristen Bell seems fairly intelligent, so I really do not understand why she insists on becoming our generation’s Kate Hudson.
It’s probably because of *makes that hand gesture where you rub your thumb and first two fingers together which somehow means money*
My love for Veronica Mars pretty much means I will watch anything that Kristen Bell is in. I haven’t seen You Again (yet) but I will. I do look forward to her new show on Showtime and she has been in some great stuff since VM. Her character on Party Down was great, and I thought Forgetting Sarah Marshall was actually a really good movie.
Plus she seems like a pretty genuine person. I want her to succeed. And I would also like a Veronica Mars movie if you are listening Hollywood.
Really we need both a Veronica Mars movie and a Party Down movie, both with Kristen Bell. Then we can forget that she has been making so many terrible romcoms lately.
If a VM movie happened I *might* be able to forgive the world for When in Rome, which is much MUCH worse than You Again.
When In Rome was bad, so I guess I can look forward to You Again, which is less bad? I did like her scenes with Dax Shepard in When in Rome.
A Party Down movie would be great too. As much as I will miss Party Down, I feel ok with where the story ended, but with VM, I would like some of the loose ends tied up.
There is also a new show with Ryan Hansen (from VM and PD). It’s a lot like that Happy Endings show, and by that I mean that there are a few laughs but it’s just ok.
For me, Gabe’s sentiments extend to the marriages of literally every single celebrity on Earth. Why? Because I don’t personally know any of them. I just don’t understand why anyone is interested in what famous people do outside of their professions, save for the occasional spectacular train wreck or someone who devotes large amounts of time calling attention to important social issues.
Now, I’m not saying that I’m pure and don’t know anything about Jennifer Aniston’s love life. I do, because I live in the world. But I don’t get all of the people who honestly give so much of a shit about it that the news becomes inescapable for someone like me, who does not.
Jennifer Aniston’s marriage would be notable only because her fame for the last 5 years has relied solely on the fact that she is completely unlovable.
I work at a bookstore, and see her face on all the tabloids nearly every week, on and off for the past 2 years. I hope she finally gets married SO WE CAN END THIS SUSPENSE!
I’d like to say that I agree, but this weekend, I watched loudQUIETloud, a documentary about the Pixies, and I found the insights into the private lives of the Pixies to be fascinating. (Joey Santiago and Dave Lovering were broke when they heard about the tour! Dave Lovering is into metal detecting! Kim Deal lives at home with her parents! Frank Black listens to self-affirmation tapes, unless he was just screwing with the camera man!) But then, I care about the Pixies, and I don’t care about the Kardashians.
I think there is something quite different about a documentary vs a reality TV show. Having a documentary done implies that the subject of a documentary did something of interest. Having a reality TV show implies that you know a producer and are likely willing to exploit every part of your life for income. Documentaries seem more “real” than fabricated reality TV. To me, anyway.
I ate a kebab today, successful day is successful.
I did not eat this today:
Look who went to the wedding:
Waiter, two more orders of BARF please!
Oh Lindsay…sigh
I spent waaay too long trying to figure out who they are. In other news, I am going to get all the awards for productive employee-ism!
Don’t they look like rabbit-people?!
THAT is what she looks like now?! sad…
Aren’t they from ‘The Real Housewives of New Jersey’? Wow, Kim really scraped the ‘celebrity’ barrel..
Who are they? And why do they look so old and horrible? Are they old? Is one of them Lindsay Lohan?
She’s wearing white at someone else’s wedding?! Bush league!
Since I seem to have nothing better to do with my time, I read some blog post about her wedding…and it turns out, she requested on the invite that everyone wear either black or white. Because she’s an asshole.
http: / / http://www.d e p a r d i e u . com
Je marée mode bon regard.
Pas cher. Transport Gratuit.
J’ai besoin de urineaux.
Ah oui. je urineaux.
Woof. I’ll just be going now:
I thought it was a towel.
In my world, everyone is a pony and they all eat rainbows and poop butterflies.
I actually used to watch the show and I found Kim to be the least interesting person in her family (again- the bar was already low). So I am really not sure how she came to be anything.
I have to admit that she’s really good at doing whatever it is that she does because here we are talking about her even when we don’t want to.
Marketing, her mom is really good at marketing them. Our society has changed so dramatically and is so obsessed with instant gratification and the Kardashians are excellent at the social networking angles. I’ve watched a few episodes, out of morbid curiosity and because one of my best friends (who is rather intelligent) is a reality TV junkie and said to check it out. From the limited episodes I’ve seen, Khloe (Khole?) seems to be the most real/together/interesting one. Kim is a total wet rag. Ugh.
It’s interesting that every product needs a celebrity face now…hair care, skin care, clothes, cars, etc. As if Sarah Jessica Parker uses color out of a box, or some celebrity uses Proactiv. They’re excellent at attaching their name to a product and endorsing it. Basically, they manufacture nothing, contribute less than nothing and make millions – the new American Dream!
Agreed. It used to seem that putting forth the right image would allow someone to reach their dream (i.e. dress for the job you want). Now the image IS the dream. Getting dressed up/showing up/making-up IS the job.
I miss Jack Layton.
when I awoke this morning, my mustache had a (then) unexplainable soreness to it, almost like it was burning. I would have taken an entire year of fiery mustache pain for another day of the Jack-meister. As far as politicians go, he seemed like a genuinely good guy.
“fiery mustache pain” Anyone besides myself just learn that mustaches could be in pain? Videogum is so educational.
they can when Jack Layton dies.
So, I did not get around to seeing Fright Night this weekend? Did anyone see it? Is it worth my money? Alternatively, did anyone see Conan (I am guessing no)? Is the promise of ogling pretty people enough to make up for the rest of the crap sandwich that is the film, according to reviews? Inquiring minds need to know!
I really enjoyed it! Then again the parts I really enjoyed were all the parts with David Tennant.
Example:
That said, I’ve never seen the original. Also the screenplay was written by Marti Noxon who wrote for Buffy and Angel..
David Tennant is just amazing in this movie. I don’t like horror movies and it really is a horror movie but any scene with him is pretty much the greatest thing ever. Also it’s not misogynistic, which is refreshing. And there was a joke for Buffy fans… only one that I noticed. I kind of want to see it again just for DT because he really is that great. And the younger Franco is in it as is Lisa Loeb because if you’re going to do a horror movie you should get the girl who sings the song from Reality Bites.
Yes Lisa Loeb! I stared at her for a second, reacted to the guy from the Sonic commercials, and then turned to my friend and said ‘Is that…is that Lisa Loeb??’
Oh no, I missed the Buffy joke! What was it?
David Tennant said that he wasn’t going to hunt vampires and join their little Scooby gang.
Seriously, how amazing was he? I could watch him in anything. Not only is he a fantastic actor, but he looks like he is thoroughly enjoying himself as he does it. Plus he’s cute but not so cute… his talent makes him cuter. Have you seen his Hamlet? It’s worth renting.
(There was no reply button below your comment, so who knows where this will end up)
Ah! How could I have missed a Scooby Gang reference!
He really was the best, but I know people who would cut you for saying he’s ‘not so cute’! Though I agree, the talent and the fact that he is obviously having a ball in whatever role he’s playing be it Vincent, the Doctor, Barty Crouch Jr. etc makes him so much more attractive. I haven’t seen Hamlet yet, but I really want to. And I hope they film his Much Ado About Nothing with Catherine Tate!
Replaying to you librariansti… also with no idea on where it will go…
TOTALLY. But he looks kind of like a bird. A cute bird, but his cuteness is at a manageable level until you really get into his acting and then it’s like this obsession in which you hunt down everything he’s ever been in, which is way more difficult than I had anticipated as someone not in the UK. But to see him do the Doctor, Hamlet and essentially Criss Angel in a week just cemented him as one of my favorite actors ever. Guy has range and real, honest amazing talent. Considering how quickly Much Ado sold out, they’re totally going to release it on DVD. (I know this from my Google stalking and my friends in the UK feeding my crush spiral.) Plus he seems really smart and not actor-y, which is so refreshing.
This interview sealed it: http://www.guardian.co.uk/culture/2011/aug/19/david-tennant-interview
Have you seen the bit with Catherine Tate and Tennant on the You Tubes for Comic Relief around 2007? Everything I can find on this guy just makes the self-perpetuating crush machine more and more powerful. And now I have to figure out how to see the Casanova mini-series without actually buying it.
First of all, yes to everything you just said badideajeans! The Comic Relief with him and Catherine Tate is something I make *everyone* watch. They start out annoyed but end up thanking me profusely. I still need to find Casanova too, have you watched Blackpool? It’s…bizarre.
Oh! And this interview is fantastic!
Where/how can you find Blackpool? I was hunting that down yesterday… And isn’t it what Viva Laughlin was based on? I saw the You Tubes of him singing the Smiths in that show and my head basically exploded.
I think I watched several episodes on youtube?
I’d definitely recommend seeing it (fun, snappy dialog, cool action sequences, doesn’t treat you like a moron like many horror movies), but skip the 3D. It is so dark normally that I think the 3D would just make it a murky mud-pile.
Keeping up with the BARFdashians. Has anyone made that joke yet?
Keeping Up With The Cardassians
So Soulja Boy, Andrew W.K., and Matt & Kim did a song together? That’s ALMOST as bad as this, right?
I’m really happy for them, Ray J will make a wonderful husband.
I made a pineapple upside down cake for the first time ever this weekend. Came out great!
My best friend had a baby…it’s a BOY…yay!
I finally got around to watching Source Code. That was a good movie! I want to start a Duncan Jones fan club.
i watched the other train movie on HBO. the one with Denzel Washington….so, we officially have more in common than Kim does with her Khusband.
Sweet; let’s get hitched and sell the photos to Videogum for $17 million. That’s how this works, right?
I have met Kris Humphries. He is one of the dumbest people I have ever met.
I watched I Love You, Beth Cooper this weekend. What a terrible movie. Hope WMOAT returns!
I watched that movie with my 11 and 13-year old girl cousins. Things got really weird when the 11-year old asked me, “What are condoms?” I just responded with, “They are things for adults.” and left it at that.
Haha yeah I kept wondering, “I think the demographic for this movie is tween girls, but the movie’s all about how fun drunk driving and threesomes are.”
You guys, I had the NyQuil hangover from HELL on Saturday. Unrelated to the Kardashian wedding, or COMPLETELY RELATED? I’ll let you be the Judge.
I attended, along with a few other monsters, the wedding reception of the lovely Shellbomber this weekend!!!!! Everyone send your good vybez of wedded bliss her way, it was a lot of fun.
I had a really great bowel movement. Over and out.
girls don’t poo
#bodilyfunctions101
I’m not a girl, I’m a LADY, and I do it while holding up my pinkie and commenting, “Hem, hem, I do SO love a good poo!”
are you disagreeing with science?!?
I just bought today teefury shirt because it’s Firfely related. Very very excited!
As much as I love this .gif I keep trying to figure out why they’d drink red wine in the desert. Seems too hot for red wine. A chilled white? Sure. But red?
I’m way too excited for Saturday.
Maybe it’s because they’re British and have never been to the desert? I think it’s obvious the Doctor knows nothing about appropriate wines when he is disgusted by the taste. Also, from the behind the scenes footage I’ve seen it was actually very cold while they were shooting…those are the only things I can come up with.
Well, that or this doctor has a terrible palette. After all, he does think apples are rubbish.
As much as I love this .gif I keep trying to figure out why they’d drink red wine in the desert. Seems too hot for red wine. A chilled white? Sure. But red?
I’m way too excited for Saturday.
I lost my virginity!!!
I finally took someone’s v-card!!!
I only cried once!!!!
I figured out how to post videos on youporn!
Is it to early to bail on google+?
Remember Notsewfast?
Will there ever be a rainbow?
Do you guys believe in ghosts?
Remember mydaughtersname69, aaaaron?
What’s your favorite Michael Keaton movie?
Mr. Mom, obviously.
In order: No, Yes, Yes, No, Yes/Yes, Night Shift.
I thought Mans took notsewfast when he went to the store to get cigarettes. They’re coming back. It just must take a long time to get cigarettes, right?
I miss Mans. He was so very much the best.
Me too, Miss Rabbit. Me too.
big fan of this thread allowing us to give a shit without _really_ giving a shit. ya know?
I had mild food poisoning this weekend and I’d say I still had a more successful weekend than Kim Kardashian.
Where are we on the whole question of whether gay marriage will destroy traditional marriage or not? Because if gay marriage will destroy _this_ marriage, then I’d like to have a lot more of gay marriage, please.
My only issue with this thread is that Gabe put a couple legit links to the Kardashians in it. And the only way these people will go away is if we stop clicking on stories about them or refuse to buy magazines on which they appear.
And what is the deal with the royal wedding comparisons? I’m mostly confused because I’m pretty sure that Kate Middleton and Prince William are functionally literate and despite their privilege will actually work to make the world a better place. Pretty sure getting waxed on E! does not count for humanitarian work.
something something UPSKIRTS amirite!, ba-DUM-kcssshhhshshshshhhssHHSHSwwwEEEOAAAWWWEEEeeeEaaawwwEEE…(fades out with feedback at the end there…)
I went to the beach this weekend, all by myself, because my friends hate fun. And I had just the best time. And I did not think once about Kim Kardashian, and whether she was getting married, because I don’t know who she is. It’s almost like the older I get, the less pop culture interests me. Or something. Anyway, moral of the story: great time at the beach by myself.
I accidentally downvoted when I meant to upvote! Solo beach trips = awesomeness
I upvote your intended upvote for solo beach awesomeness.
I just did the same thing! Whoops! Another upvote for solo-beaching!
And I love your icon, fnord!
My computer’s name is James Cameron (JC for short)
Built him couple of years ago. He’s got a motherboard, a processor, lots of RAM, a whole Terabyte of space, graphixxx card… power supply…
Computers are really cool guys!
Am I doing this right?