It is already a little bit off-putting when Hollywood insists on remaking some of your favorite films because it’s like wait, what happened, did we destroy all of the copies of the film and we aren’t allowed to ever watch it again is that what happened because otherwise why are we remaking this since it already exists and is great? (That is a good sentence, well structured, and most importantly: the proper length.) It is even weirder when the director who made the movie in the first place is the one who insists on doing it over again. Such is the case with Ridley Scott and Blade Runner, as being reported by Deadline (and everyone else) today.

After revisiting his classic Alien with the upcoming 3D Fox film Prometheus, Ridley Scott is committing to direct and produce a film that advances his other seminal and groundbreaking science fiction film. Scott has signed on to direct and produce a new installment of Blade Runner. He’ll make the film with Alcon Entertainment, producing with Alcon partners Broderick Johnson and Andrew Kosove. This would be the most high profile project for Alcon since The Blind Side.

Oh man, I really hope that little boy from The Blind Side plays one of the robots in the new movie! Also, Ridley Scott is revisiting Blade Runner AFTER he revisits Alien? What’s wrong, Ridley Scott? Did all your magazine subscriptions run out? Did they cancel your account over at ideafinder.org? Shake it up, buddy! Oh well. If he is going to do it, we might as well help him make it super cool and fresh for today’s audiences!

  • The little boy from The Blind Side plays one of the robots.
  • The robots are iPhones.
  • Also: hoverboards.
  • Every time Harrison Ford passes a robot in the hallway he throws a Slushee in its face.
  • The part of Harrison Ford is played by Russell Brand.
  • Something something Tina Fey so hot right now.
  • None of the characters talk to each other, they just SEXT all their dialog back and forth.
  • From the mind of Diablo Cody.
  • President Robot Robama.
  • Instead of too much self-awareness making the robots angry towards humans, they just get together and make a mumblecore movie within the movie. Robot Charlie Kauffman to direct.
  • The movie is filmed in 4D.
  • And takes place on Pandora.
  • The movie is just a Twitter account.
  • Blade Runner 2: #swag

AND THAT’S FRESH!

Comments (50)
  1. Two words: Vampire replicants.

  2. well, someone has got to shout, “This is OUR TIME” at one point….now should Deckard say this in a voiceover? or to another character in dialogue?

  3. Possible titles:

    Blade Runnerz
    2 Blade 2 Runner
    BL4D3 rU|\||\|3R
    Run it up 2: The Blades
    Blade Runner: Legacy
    Blade Runner vs. Terminator

  4. Deckard should be played by the Jonas Brothers.

  5. The robots move to a house on the Jersey Shore

  6. Russell Brand should fail the Voight-Kamff test, forge his mom’s signature, hand it in to his hover-teacher, wrestle with the guilt for 2.5 hours of screen time, confess, brownies/family wii time.

  7. New movie to be based on the short story “Do iPhones Dream of Electric Sheep”

  8. Blade Segwayer

    • Fun fact; I was on a segway last week – those suckers toast your feet to the point of numbness/fusion with the footpad. I gained a new respect for Gob at that point.

  9. It’s a musical.

  10. You want to update Blade Runner for the kids? Here’s how: Take out the fantastic symbolism and themes and replace it with Google, Apple, and Ryan Seacrest. I am very surprised about this news. I hope it never sees the light of day. Seriously, I’m tears’ing in the rain over here.

  11. woozefa  |   Posted on Aug 18th, 2011 +2

    is there a blanket thumb up i can hit to just like all yr comments at once? yuse guys is on fire.

  12. The part of Rachael to be played by Kirstie Alley; title changed to Blade RRUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUNer

  13. The new cast of multi-culti replicants include Wheels, the repli-capable robot with a sassy ‘tude and a rocket-powered wheelchair.

    • Why do I feel like somehow Michael Bay will be involved? He could handle a disabled robot with a winning mix of humane thoughtfulness and explosive fart boobage panache.

  14. Blade Runner 2.0: The Blades of Sizable Vengeance

    Deckard: Channing Tatum (Tom Cruise in Flash-forwards)
    Rachel: Snooki
    Sex Replicant 1: Carmen Electra
    Sex Replicant 2: Meat Loaf
    Ghost of Pris: Kim Kardashian
    JF Sebastian Jr: Justin Bieber
    Blip Blip the Robot (voice): Adam Sandler
    Bloop Bloop the Robot (voice): Kevin James
    William Sanderson: William Sanderson

  15. Shia LaBeouf

  16. Glasgow stands in for Los Angeles.

  17. “Blade Runner II: Fuck Everything, We’re Doing Five Blades”

  18. more Ke$ha.

  19. The darkening side-effects of 3D makes 90% of the movie pitch black.

  20. I’ve seen things you people wouldn’t believe. Dodge Durangos on fire off the shoulder of Six Flags Great Adventure. I watched Lulu Frost bracelets (exclusive to J.Crew) glitter in the dark near the New York Downtown W Hotel. All those moments will be lost in time… like Vita Coco Coconut Water — Never From Concentrate… Time to die — TO THE EXTREME!

    • “I want more pogs, fucker!”

    • I’ve seen a blind guy bite a police horse! A puppy committed suicide after he saw our bathroom! I once bit into a burrito and there was a child’s shoe in it! I’ve seen a hooker eat a tire! A pack of wild dogs took over and successfully ran a Wendy’s! The sewer people stole my skateboard! The projects I lived in were named after Zachary Taylor, generally considered to be one of the worst presidents of all time! I once saw a baby give another baby a tattoo! They were very drunk!

  21. “Blade Runner 2.0: Now with more Will Smith!”

  22. Reboot the Spiderman franchise halfway through the movie.

  23. On a less sarcastic note, Scott ought to be calling Lady Gaga.

  24. Gaff makes animals with his Origami App on his Android (haha robot humor).

  25. - The score is composed entirely by Bon Iver.
    - Harrison Ford walks past a recently bombed American Apparel store, cue ironic laughter.
    - Ford is assisted in his adventure by a team of multiracial Replicants, one of which wears a bowler hat.
    - Marion Cotillard plays the ringleader of an underground Replicant boxing tournament.
    - Hugh Jackman makes an appearance in a tie-in with ‘Real Steel 3′.

  26. Blade Runner II: Blades of Glory.

    What if we made Nathan Fillion play Deckard and there are space cowboys and tight pants and, um, yes.

  27. I’m holding out for his remake of his remake of Robin Hood.

  28. All the guns are replaced with zunes, E.T.-style.

  29. More unicorns.

  30. “Fiery the angels fell. Deep thunder rolled around their jeggings…”

  31. there will be a disputed theatrical release with a stock footage ending from twilight of deckard and bella speeding away on a brazillian speedboat. that will also be narrated by brokencyde or a cat or someone relevant right then

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