Shop there! Come on. Go to Wolfchase Mall (?!?!?!?!) and SHOP THERE! Where else are you going to shop? Bergdanff Bogman’s? You just get in the Civic and you drive down to Wolfchase and you take your mom’s credit card and you buy yourself something pretty. That way, this weekend, when you are drinking a two-dollar Rolling Rock over at the Blind Pig and someone comes up to you and says “You look fascinating,” you can look right back at them and say, “No shit, I bought this at DIvine Rags.” Then you slap your knees and do a devil dance and the next thing you know, you and this stranger are married and you have a baby inside of you and the clothes from Divine Rags don’t fit you anymore but you still hang them in your closet with care because they help to remind you of the person you were before all this human life and responsibility got splattered all over the place and sometimes at night when the baby has finally been put down and the two of you are watching TV, you will lay your head in your husband’s lap and he will stroke your hair and you will ask him to tell you that you are beautiful and that he is still fascinated by you, and he will grunt because he was barely listening but the truth is you weren’t really talking to him anyway, you were talking to yourself, your former self. DIVINE RAGS! (Thanks for the tip, werttrew.)

Comments (42)
  1. The walls of reality between our existence and Tim and Eric’s existence have always been thin, but now they are dangerously so.

  2. Because who DOESN’T want to look Divine?

  3. I’m just fascinated in general.

  4. This man is Horatio Alger’s frohawked nightmare.

  5. I know that was a commercial for a dress store, but all I heard was “I am a registered sex offender.”

  6. That puppy kiss/laugh combo was AMAZING

  7. So this guy goes up to random women at your drunk aunt and uncle’s tiny game room (that they added on the side of the house thanks to some smart investing), asks a question and then immediately tells them to “shhhhh” because he already knows the answer to his own question? What a dickweed.

    • I feel really bad for the girl that she got rejected on a nationally televised commercial. He didn’t even offer her a seat on his couch even though there’s clearly room if they all squished together.

  8. Insert Three WolfChase Mall Moon joke

  9. When I get the courage to come out of lurking and attend a Monster meet-up I will be wearing something from Divine Rags. You will find me getting down on the dance floor while holding a Scotty Dog.

  10. I’m glad to see the guy that did the evil laugh track in Michael Jackson’s “Thriller” is still getting work.

  11. I have been approached by this man every single time I go out and get down on the dance floor (amirite, ladies?). But he has never, not once, opened by asking me where I got my outfit.

  12. I don’t think I dress enough like an Eastern European hooker to fascinate this guy. My loss!

  13. Call Rhett and Link, we’ve got a new Commercial King!

  14. Forget about the dresses, where do I get myself a shiny suit? It looks like it could be out of the Breaking Bad Diablo Twins Collection.

  15. The Nigerian Prince scam is getting way, WAY out of hand, you guys.

  16. Nyenemo Rantis: proprietor of Divine Rags, 2010 graduate of the Tommy Wiseau School of English, Entourage fanatic.

  17. So far there have been lots of baby references today, Gabe. Trying to tell us something? Like IS IT BABY DAY TODAY?

  18. Anyone else think that Divine Rags ripped off its name from

  19. Is that Sabrina Le Beauf aka Sondra Huxtable that gets hushed?

  20. The Major Lazer’s pop up store looks dope.

  21. I want to take this guy home to meet my parents. I bet he’d really charm my mom. She shops at a place like Divine Rags. I mean, Petite Sophisticates is basically the same, right?

  22. So far there have been lots of baby references today, Gabe. Trying to tell us something? Like IS IT BABY DAY TODAY?
    Thank you for this nice post
    hguhf fo
    al3ab flash
    العاب فلاش

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