I know you’re anxious to get out into the world. Your crib is small and you can feel its limitations even though you’ve never known much of anything outside of it. But I have news for you, baby panda — Once you’re out of that crib, you’re going to long for the days when all you had to do was sit around in a crib, eating leaves or whatever you eat. I know, I know you’ve heard it before. But the world is a rough place, and once you enter into it it’s difficult, if not impossible, to return to the comfortable life you’re living right now. “You can’t go home again,” as they say. “You’ll see when you move out it just sort of happens one day, one day and it’s just gone. And you can never get it back. It’s like you get homesick for a place that doesn’t exist. I mean it’s like this rite of passage, you know,” as Zach Braff says in Garden State. Unless you are this guy. And do you really want to be that guy, baby panda? I don’t think you do. So enjoy your crib. Take life as it comes. Don’t get ahead of yourself. Stay in your crib. (Via UniqueDaily.)

Comments (17)
  1. Videogum made an appearance in my train’s express paper (DC); they quoted Gabe and removed the word ‘fucking’ without any dot dot dots (…) or brackets. Gournalism.

    Also: PANDA IN A HUMAN CRIB WITH A ROCKING HORSE GETTING PICKED UP BY A PERSON IN A FLUFFY SCRUB OUTFIT WITH A SURGICAL MASK = REALLY NORMAL

  2. It’s kind of eerie to know how that woman is going to die.

  3. The real world is complete pandamonium.

  4. I could watch from :38 to :44 all day. You know what? I’m an adult. I will.

  5. I was going to watch this video, but instead I went over to the Best Buy website where I found lots of great deals. If you haven’t been to the Best Buy site lately, I highly recommend it. Best Buy!

  6. I want to be a panda wrangler! How can I pick up that sweet gig?

  7. That lady’s a bad babysitter. Panda baby nearly fell! On his adorable head! Luckily there’s a nannycam.

  8. I love the way the second panda baby is just sleeping there, on the side, while 1st panda tries to go get cookies.
    Panda1: “You gotta come help me get out of here dude”
    Panda2: “Bro, wake me when you get back with the cookies”

  9. Get out of your crib and get busy needing to eat and sleep for more hours than there are in a day and refusing to reproduce!

  10. I just hope that panda can deal with the tough world out there, and doesn’t grow up to be one of those pandas who eats shoots and leaves.

  11. Baby Panda: How’s the real world Bookworm?

    Bookworm: It’s great. I mean I’m learning a lot. And most people are treating me very nice. It’s great.

    Baby Panda: Gee, I can’t wait till I get out of this crib.

    Bookworm: [grabs Baby Panda's face and whispers] Don’t you say that. Don’t you ever say that. Stay here. Stay here as long as you can. For the love of God, cherish it. You have to cherish it.

  12. Fuck big Boi’s stripper house. This is what MTV Cribs should be.

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