[With her new movie, The Help, opening this weekend, her movie Crazy, Stupid Love still in theaters, and anticipation for the upcoming Spider-Man reboot next summer in which she plays love interest Gwen Stacy, not to mention today's news that she will be the new face of Revlon, Emma Stone is Crazy, Stupid Busy. That is why she did NOT take time out of her schedule to conduct this interview, and this interview is fake.]

Videogum: Thank you for taking time to talk to us. You are so busy, so we really appreciate it.
Emma Stone: Of course. I am happy to participate in this interview, it is a real priority for me.
Videogum: That’s Crazy, Stupid Nice of you to say.
Emma Stone: [laughs loudly]
Videogum: So, The Help looks terrible! Don’t you think?
Emma Stone: What? No! That is really the first thing you are going to say to me?
Videogum: Well, technically the first thing I said to you was I thanked you for doing the interview. And the second thing I said was a joke that you loved.
Emma Stone: [laughs loudly]
Videogum: So, this is actually the third thing that I am saying to you.
Emma Stone: Cool. Well, no, I don’t think The Help looks terrible.
Videogum: Oh, sorry. I thought everyone was on the same page about it.
Emma Stone: Obviously, I disagree.
Videogum: What looks good about it to you?
Emma Stone: We worked really hard on that movie.
Videogum: Sure, but, I mean, like, OK, just for example, it seems really weird to make a movie about a heroic white person going against racism in society when she is a make believe character and didn’t exist. You know what I mean? Like, it is very easy to be that courageous when you aren’t real.
Emma Stone: It’s a moving story and it is an honest depiction of our nation’s history, so I still think you can say a lot about the past even if it is fictional. Also, Viola Davis gives a really outstanding–
Videogum: OK OK! We get it. You think your own movie looks good. Kind of arrogant, but let’s just move on.
Emma Stone: How is it arrogant to stand behind my work?
Videogum: I read that you’re best friends with Taylor Swift.

Emma Stone: Yes. But can we please just talk about my work?
Videogum: Remember how gross it was when she was dating Jake Gyllenhaal for, like, two seconds? So gross, right?
Emma Stone: I’m not going to talk about my own private life, much less the private life of a very good friend of mine.
Videogum: So, you didn’t think it was gross.
Emma Stone: No comment.
Videogum: Can I tell you what is weird to me about your friendship with Taylor Swift?
Emma Stone:
Videogum: It’s just how, like, you have sort of built this career on being this smart, cool, funny girl. You know?
Emma Stone:
Videogum: But then Taylor Swift is this super-earnest, very chaste, boring pop sensation. Based on your public image you should be friends with Santigold or something, and instead you’re friends with Taylor Swift. Which means that somewhere in there is a lie.
Emma Stone:
Videogum: I just think it’s weird.
Emma Stone:
Videogum: You’re not talking to me anymore?
Emma Stone:
Videogum: This interview is over.
Emma Stone: You don’t say that to me, I say that to you.
Videogum: So say it then.
Emma Stone: You have been nothing but rude, invasive, and insulting. This interview is over.
Videogum: Aww, I was just teasing. I give this interview an easy A.
Emma Stone:
Videogum: Get it? Emma Stone, do you get it? Like your movie!
Emma Stone:
Videogum: Call me later?
Emma Stone: Are you out of your mind?
Videogum: OK, so your new movie looks bad and has very complicated racial politics. But you are still a very beautiful woman and I thought we had a real connection.
Emma Stone: Ugh.

[Emma Stone storms out.]

Videogum: EMMA NO! EMMA COME BACK!

[Videogum takes a sip of water and stares at the label on the bottle of water for a moment.]

Videogum: (to self) Emma Stone. The one that got away.

Comments (38)
  1. The Help is our generation’s The Blind Side.

  2. This was a pocket full of sunshine for my heart! (no I don’t know what that means, why do you ask?)

  3. You know what’s kinda weird? I just learned a bunch of things about Emma Stone from the questions in a fake interview.

  4. I like you, Gabe, but if you ever humiliate my girlfriend like that again, I will not be responsible for my actions.

    They will be superbad.

  5. in my imagination i interview gabe a lot and he laughs when i make a joke. that can’t be weird.

  6. I think Stone Phillips should interview her, and it should be published in Rolling Stone.
    Just because.

  7. The Help was a pretty terrible book, but whatshername the author did a good job conveying the dangerousness of the (made-up) project and the fear the (fictional) maids felt about participating in it. Reading it, I was alternately totally annoyed and totally stressed out by their stress.

    The trailer makes the movie look like a kooky little comedy about, I don’t know, how to write a Trauma-Rama novel for Southern White Ladies. Will that make more people want to see it? Yes? “More people” are gross, just like this movie? Okay.

  8. More like Emma Groan! Hello? Is thing on?

  9. For a fake interview it sure leaves a lot of questions unanswered: e.g. “Why doesn’t Max Silvestri want Allison Janney to be happy? Can’t she laugh at an interview if she wants? Jeeze, Max Silvestri.”?

  10. That picture of her looks fake too. Is she wearing Britta’s (very sexy) squirrel outfit?

    • Yeah it does look totally fake! I was going to say her face looks like Taylor Swift, and then I read that she’s best friends with her and I was like whoa! Did Taylor let Emma borrow her face? Do best friends do that nowadays, or did it go out of style after Cage/Travolta?

      • Until I see them in the same room together, I will believe that they are the same person and Taylor Swift is merely the Tony Clifton to Emma Stone’s Andy Kaufman

  11. Whoever is editing the A.V. Club’s interviews does seem to be going a little overboard with the laughing transcriptions lately. Although I think Max is unfair in his tweet; exactly zero of the [Laughs] transcriptions in both of those interviews are in response to something the interviewer said, they’re all incidents where the interviewee is laughing at themselves.

    • Ooooh, is there AV Club/Videogum beef? There should be AV Club/Videogum beef.

      • Yes! I comment on both sites, so I can have that long talk with myself I’ve been meaning to have for quite a while now.

        ME: You watch your mouth, AVClub ronofthedead.

        AVClub ronofthedead: I will kill you in your sleep.

        … on second thought, let’s not have an AVClub/Videogum beef. Things would end badly.

        • Considering 3/4th’s of Videogum’s “afternoon links” contain a link to something on the A.V. Club, I doubt a beef would do Gabe any good

          • I don’t know if it’s still going on, but recently there have been a lot of unregistered comments over there from “Gabe Delahaye” talking about how great Videogum is. They’re always followed by a bunch of people angry about Gabe schilling for his site, which is are followed by a very confused me saying “obviously this isn’t Gabe, but also, what the hell is this?”

            So anyway, Lots Of Love between the actual sites, but there is definitely a group of anti-Videogum commenters.

          • Thats Kelly in some weird, meta, fight club meltdown.

  12. In the interview that Kelly posted yesterday, they asked her a similar question about how a white woman is “saving” the black women. Emma Stone replied that the character only wants to be published, so is writing the story for her own selfish reasons – not to be some savior.

    I have not read the book or seen the movie, so I will reserve my judgment until I see it.

    In the meantime, Emma Stone seems genuinely awesome.

  13. I understood exactly how you felt in that interview. Is it possible you have written a fictionalized account that perfectly captures being the experience of a gay man trying to connect with himself and his fellows on the internet in the tense political environment of the early-21st century?

    Layers within layers.

  14. What’s that? I should repost my Emma Stone lyrics I wrote to the theme of the ’60′s Spider-Man cartoon theme song from back on the Amazing Spider-Man Trailer post? Really? Alright!

    Emma Stone, Emma Stone,
    She’s in a league of her own
    Tackles roles of any size
    A hypnotic, gorgeous doe-eyed
    Knock Out!
    Here comes Emma Stone

    Is she a snob?
    Are you mad?
    She’s got soul and she’s Superbad
    Down to earth, level-head
    Naturally blonde but I prefer it red
    Hey, now!
    There goes Emma Stone

    Zombieland, House Bunny
    The Rocker, Easy A
    Crazy, Stupid, Love
    Lucky Louie (CK)

    Emma Stone, Emma Stone
    Freckled and friendly, Emma Stone
    smoky-voiced
    Can feign demure
    Sultry goof
    Her true allure

    Emma! Take my arms and lose ‘em
    My lips, I’ll never use them
    Why not take Olive Me. . .

  15. Nice This fake interview seems like Hot Lady Blows Out The Interviewer.

    http://funnyandspicy.com/hot-lady-blows-out-the-interviewer

  16. zombieland reference!

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