In New York City, and probably all other cities, the subway is a nightmare. It’s crowded and isn’t actually functioning most of the time. People poop on it and show you their genitals. There are fish wrappers under all the seats. One time I almost fainted on it because I drank my orange juice too quickly and there was nowhere to sit so I just had to sit on the floor and I spilled coffee all over my purse. Plus it all costs you one million dollars. And yet, NYC subway patrons are, for some reason, always coming up with new ways to make it even more of a nightmare. Like remember that NYT article about that stupid fucking dinner party on the L train? Pardon my language there, but UGH THOSE PEOPLE. I hate those people so much. The only people I hate more than those people are the people in this video.
OH MY GOD. I have a personal relationship with this video because — and I’m not saying I think this is the only time a subway party like this has happened, because I’m positive that it is not — I’m pretty sure I ran into this particular subway party if it took place in mid-July. It looks exactly like the subway party I had the misfortune of running into on a Saturday in mid-July. And I was already having the worst time because basically NO trains were running and I needed to get to stupid Bushwick which, if you are not familiar, is a place that trains don’t go to and where all the bedbugs live, and it is already hard to get to from anywhere, and my left contact was really bothering me, and then I finally got to a place where I thought I’d be able to catch a helpful train and then I found out that even THAT train wasn’t running. But one stop in my journey before that final straw I ran into I think this subway party or one exactly like it. And jesus christ. It was the worst. Who do these people think they are? That they can just ruin everyone else’s already horrible journey with their stupid bullshit? They took up multiple train cars! It’s not even like this was just one train car and if you didn’t want to be in their nightmare you could just move to the next one, like when someone poops in a train car. It was happening in multiple train cars and it took a fair amount of annoyed effort to find one that wasn’t a party train car. Ugh. Even if this isn’t the particular subway party that I had the misfortune of running into, everything I said still stands and stands EVEN MORE because that means there were MULTIPLE SUBWAY PARTIES IN THE TIME FRAME OF MID-JULY TO EARLY AUGUST. The world is a vampire on a train with face paint and streamers. (Via BuzzFeed.)