Eli Roth is warning parents not to take their children on his Hostel-themed horror maze. Wait, who are the parents who were going to do that and who also need parenting tips from Eli Roth? Asking for a department of child welfare office.

Comments (13)
  1. A lady my wife knows taught her 15-month old to say “shit” because she thought it would be funny. She also gave him a sucker to keep him occupied in the car seat while she stood outside smoking. Never understimate the power of parents to be terrible.

  2. What’s wrong with taking your kids there? I memorized my times tables under threat of a blood-soaked machete, and I turned out fine. Just ask the people I keep chained in my basement.

  3. But a Hostel ride is also just a really stupid thing for adults so I don’t understand who this thing is for?

  4. We call it “horror corn.”

  5. Something something Cabin Fever Getaway Retreat and Spa. Barf you very much.

  6. “It was funny when the naked girl was cut open with a scythe and we reveled in her viscera.”
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  7. This reminds me of when Alan J. Pakula warned parents not to take their kids on his Sophie’s Choice ride.

  8. I’m guessing the same parents who brought their kids to the theater to see Hostel 2? I wanted to ask the mother if they chop a lot of dicks off in the other shows her kid watches.

  9. Something tells me the Hostel-themed horror maze has nothing on the SAW-Coaster, which dumps out its riders into a swimming pool full of syringes. Icky.

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