This video is titled “Self-Aware Robot Roommates.” That title is very misleading because this video doesn’t say anything about this robot being a roommate at all. Which is a bummer, because I really wanted to mention how this morning I was walking to the kitchen and my roommate was talking to this guy she met last night, long story, not what you think, and she was like, “You know, I’ve never actually had foot reflexology?” As if that were the craziest thing. And that’s a good example of the kind of things my roommate says a lot. She was in a music video that was on Stereogum once and said to me, “Yeah, I think it’s up on some website…” and showed it to me, and I was like “STEREOGUM? THAT IS NOT SOME WEBSITE THAT IS THE WEBSITE.” Which is not a great example of a crazy thing but still come on. She’s the best and I’m unbearable is basically what I’m trying to say. But anyway, this video is not actually about a robot roommate. It’s just about a robot trying very carefully to make some sort of indiscernible meal, put to a standard “robot video” soundtrack and a German guy talking about how they are self-aware and can learn from their mistakes. Which is unremarkable because it’s 2011. The only thing that isn’t self-aware and doesn’t learn from its mistakes now is LINDSAY LOHAN, AM I RIGHT? Lolol. But one thing that is remarkable about this video is WHAT THE F MEAL IS THIS ROBOT MAKING?

The ingredients seem to be French bread, soapy mayonnaise, and either some sort of sausage or weird banana that is placed for a moment into room temperature water. I’m not trying to knock whatever it is — we like what we like, especially when we’re robots/German — but I would just like to understand. The German guy talks a bit about how they can make pancakes. Why aren’t they making pancakes, then? Why do they have to move a sausage/weird banana around on a spatula? That would be better used for making pancakes. What are they trying to prove? Who are they trying to impress? Why are they so big? These robot videos always seem to leave you with a lot more questions than answers. Oh here is another question: Why does it put the sausage/weird banana in a bowl? Out of plates, robot? Ever heard of a PLATE? (Via UniqueDaily.)

Comments (26)
  1. The meal is called that Robot is either drunk or hungover

    wait a drunk robot


    The Germans built Bender!

  2. I don’t have any idea what it’s making, but it still looks better than anything at Applebee’s.

    • Please upvote this comment so I can use it as empirical evidence (yay science!) to my husband that Applebee’s is horrible…he doesn’t understand why I detest it so much…I keep telling him it’s not ME!

  3. If a robot tried to put a sausage (knockwurst, it would appear) onto a plate, it would roll off. Come On, Gabe, Everyone knows this.

  4. “i’m not going to ask again. open up the refrigerator doors, Hal.”

  5. That meal looked like the wurst, amirite Kelly?

  6. I never sausage a meal before!

  7. This robot should feed whatever its making to the singing robot mouth from a few weeks back.

  8. “Together Rosie and James are the ideal roommates, cooking and serving meals on demand.”

    But they don’t pay rent!

  9. What is this robot making? This robot is making me crap my pants with fear. KILL IT WITH FIRE

  10. We were stationed in Germany for a few years, and those boiled sausages were everywhere. Yuck. On base, the Army guys would throw them onto the BBQ grill and brown ‘em up, slather them with ketchup and horseradish. Now that’s American.

  11. all the humans are dead. 001000111010101010100 (did i say anything?)

  12. people can specify task in a naturalistic way such as: push a spatula under pancake without damaging pancake so can lift it up afterwards.

    • 1. A robot may not injure a human being with a spatula, or, through inaction, allow a human being to come to harm via any spatula-like instrument.

      2. A robot must obey any orders given to it by human beings regarding spatulas, except where such orders would conflict with the First Law, or with the making of pancakes.

      3. A robot must protect its own existence and any pancakes thereof, as long as such protection does not conflict with the First or Second Law, or with the preparation of a tasty breakfast.

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