Whoa! This is Jake Gyllenhaal on the set of his new movie, End of Watch. He plays a police officer, which is somehow even less believable than when he played a soldier in Jarhead. I mean, a soldier is reasonable enough because the army needs lots of soldier, you’re going to get a couple of Steve Rogers sneaking through boot camp. But a cop? Admittedly, those puppy dog eyes are VERY ARRESTING, but I don’t know if I’m buying it. But obviously we are not here to talk about his new role. We are here to talk about his new head. Look at old baldhead! This guy knows what I’m talking about. Man oh man. This is even weirder than this. What’s wrong, Jake, your agent couldn’t get you a role in The Machinist 2? Just kidding, buddy, you look GREAT. You should keep if after the movie wraps (“wrap” is an industry term that means “done,” as in, “keep it after the movie done”). Obviously, we know what Jake Gyllenhaal is saying in this photo. “FREEZE! I’M ACTING!” But the question is WHAT DID THE BARBER SAY RIGHT BEFORE THIS PHOTO?

Winner will receive special placement in this week’s Monsters’ Ball. Otherwise I want your commenting badge on my desk. (More images at JustJared.)

Comments (78)
  1. Zodi-ack!

  2. The dude from Linkin Park called…..

  3. I’m ready to do the cavity search scene!

  4. forget it, jake…this is Great Clips. are you a 2 or a 3?

  5. Hidden due to low comment rating. Click here to see

  6. Jake Gyllenbaald

  7. Donnie Darkojak

  8. Move along, nothing to see here. Just some washed-up actor, come on folks, move it along!

  9. DarkoDome

  10. Fact: If you make your head look like a penis, you will sell more Viagra.

  11. Jake Gyllenhaal, indicating how many millions of dollars he is being paid for this week of principal photography.

  12. sprinkle some pubic hairs on top and call it a big old testicle

  13. Why don’t you give my fingers a whiff?

  14. Looks like SOMEONE can QUIT THEIR hair!

  15. “You’d never know this is literally the only haircut I have ever done!” – the barber

  16. Bubble Headed Boy

  17. *The barber finishes shaving. Jake looks in the mirror*

    Jake Gyllenhaal: I don’t know about this…

    Barber: Trust me, you’ll like it more… The Day After Tomorrow.

    *He raises his eyebrows up and down repeatedly while going “eh? eh?”*


  18. She really should have won “The Voice”.

  19. Karma police arrest this man
    His lack of hair is making me feel ill

  20. “Yer still gonna look like a goddamn fruit, but ok, kid”

  21. You know that there is one really disappointed Secretary fan that is disappointed that his search for “Gyllenhaal AND shaved” led him to this post.

  22. This summer…

    End of Watch!

  23. I’m Jack Nicholson!

  24. The Prince of Alopecia

  25. This T-1000 keeps trying to tickle my butthole.

  26. “They’re not rocks, they’re minerals!”

  27. Looks like he went with “other drugs”.

  28. “Donuts” – Jake Gyllenhaal

    All of the EGOTs please

  29. One American History X, coming right up.

  30. matt damon did it better.

  31. Well, HAIR goes nothing!

  32. “I’m gonna give him a source code he can’t refuse.”
    Source Code jokes forever.

  33. One American History X coming right up.

  34. as an ACTUAL Bald-American I find this offensive.

  35. I’m not a barber I’m the “Emperor of Hair”…that’ll be $2000

  36. I’m not a barber I’m the “Emperor of Hair”…that’ll be $2000

  37. I never thought I’d see the day that Oakley’s and a friendship bracelet were the best aspects of someone’s style. But here I am, seeing that day!

  38. Pictured: one bald pussy (sorry)

  39. In 28 pm’s,6 nm’s,42 µm’s and 1.2 mm’s -This is where your hair will end.

  40. “In the upcoming erotic thriller “End of Watch,” Gyllenhaal plays Officer John End, a toughened veteran DC cop, who is assigned all-hours personal surveillance duties after an assasination attempt on a sexy diplomat. As the mystery unravels, and he is drawn into a deadly, sexy game, will End only watch, or will End not be able to resist doing more than watching? Jake Gyllenhaal IS John End. WATCH WILL END this summer.” – the best trailer writer, EVER

  41. moonlight… mile? (I’m new at this.)

  42. Caught in the middle of a Joey Gladstone impression.

  43. I Was a Bald Cop Before It Was Cool

  44. God this makes me afraid of what ryan gosling would look like bald.
    Jake Gyllenhaal : “ladies don’t torture yourself, go look at a photo of Ryan Gosling as soon as possible.”

  45. George Bluth swore it’d grow back! I’m Jake Gyllenhall! Dot com!

  46. *tears up poster for ‘Love and other Drugs’ and throws at camera*
    “Fight the real enemy!” – Jinake O’Gyllenhallor

  47. “What do you mean that’s not how the shocker works?” – bald Jake Gyllenhaal

  48. New wife or not, when I come over to my bro’s for the game, there’d best be some Miracle Whip, capiche?

  49. It looks like Jake’s finally had it with all the photos of him nonchalantly walking from place to place that are all over the internet.

  50. h t t p : / / w w w. b e n z l o g o . c o m

    Women’s fashion, men’s personality + shoes

    Eye-catching sunglasses。Focus of T-shirt + Travel super pack

  51. “So the barber goes, ‘The cutting of the hair is all done – now do you want a bris with that?’”

    • Haha, a single downvote. His head looks like a penis! Get it? And he’s doing the international sign for snip-snip! Get it? Circumcision is so funny. So is explaining jokes that obviously deserve one single downvote.

  52. Ang Lee taught me how to get them all the way in.

  53. Trust me, you dont wanna smell these fingers :S

  54. Yeah. You WISH you had an invisible cigarette.

  55. Jake Gyllenhaal angles for Matt Pinfield’s new 120 Minutes gig.

  56. It’s called the Brokeback Shocker.”

  57. So I called Taylor and was like “Try to rhyme ‘bald’ in one of your so-called songs.” And she was all appalled, and I was like “You just got Gyllenhaal’d.”

  58. Isn’t it a little early for the “Breaking Bad” reboot?

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