Well, it’s a wrap. Now that Michele Bachmann has nailed down the all-important Brianna and Jolene endorsement, I don’t know how Barack Saddam Hussein NOBAMA can possibly hope to win re-election in 2012. What do you think is these girls’ most important consideration when choosing a candidate? I think it’s which one hates fags more. Michele Bachmann has a pretty unwavering stance on hating fags. Then again, they do live in Phoenix, Arizona, so maybe they are just looking for someone who will build a wall around Mexico and keep out those smelly rascals. Whatever it is, I’m sure that it’s thoughtful and politically astute. These girls wouldn’t just throw their estimable weight behind a candidate without doing their research. No way, Jose. (Wait a second, Jose, how did you get over the wall?!) I just wish Congress would finally act on my legislative proposal to change the voting age to nine. We need some new ideas in Washington, and who better to offer those ideas than charming young citizens like Brianna and Jolene? No more Adults Only Swim in the public pools and free Coca Cola in all the drinking fountain! Gay people are legally GROSS! No taxation without reprePOGSation! (Thanks for the tip, Andy.)

Comments (42)
  1. My favorite part was when they mentioned Michelle Bachman.

  2. Now we have conclusive evidence of the education and maturity maximum for Bachmann supporters.

  3. I preferred their original script: Nah Nah Nah Nah Nah Nah Nah Nah Nah Nah Nah BACHMAN!

  4. Maybe the voting age SHOULD be lowered to 9. People already vote like 9-year olds anyway.

    • “I’m still on the fence. Is anyone from the cast of Kindergarten Cop running?” – Every voter in every election.

      Crisp 2012!

  5. I’d just like to point out that the same YouTube uploader also offers this gem from the 2008 election.

  6. “this should be a condom commerical.”
    TheEclassBentz (Youtube comment)

  7. I’m still waiting for the coveted Uncle Jesse endorsement.

  8. I think what Gabe was trying to say was “ur sexy but ur 9 and hate fags.”

  9. Uh oh. Obummer has a lot to worry about.

  10. Slow-motion voice to influence others? It’s been done.

  11. NO jokes from ME. I JUST really FUCKING hate MICHELE BACHMANN.

  12. You know, since half of this post is Arizona’s fault, I am only going to half apologize. I’m sor

  13. I’m obviously still bitter about 1996 so…

  14. You laugh, but I have to teach Huck Finn to these girls next year.

  15. I just laughed SO hard at this video.I totally didn’t expect that slowmo for some reason– and man it just got me.

    • Agreed. If you look really close at :12, and stare deep into those tea party indoctrinated eyes of that 9 year old, you can see hell.

    • I laughed at this for 10 minutes last night, then came back an hour later and laughed for another 10 minutes. I have no idea why whoever made this decided to make it scarier than “Jacob’s Ladder,” but great work!

    • It got a little Timanderic there. “Timanderic” is the word I’ve decided we’ll all use to describe “Tim and Eric” nightmare comedy in the future when acting schools have to teach it in Comedy Theory classes.


  16. My nightmare.

  17. This is definitely not Wes Anderson’s best work.

  18. If I see these kids at my local safeway I am going to fight their parents

  19. Fake and anti-gay!

    But seriously guys, this is so obviously a joke video that I’m a bit amazed at how uncritical people seem to be in accepting its authenticity.

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