I was reading the Sunday New York Times yesterday because I am white and I went to college, and boy oh boy but that thing can really bring you down. Good thing I was still full from a delicious brunch and that I had my glass of white wine nearby or who knows how mildly affected I might have been! Seriously, though, this whole thing (this whole thing = planet Earth) is such a mess. First of all, there were tons of articles about the debt ceiling and I don’t even know that I want to get into all of that, unless it is to congratulate America’s paper of record for sneaking a Spaceballs reference into an article charting the history of economic growth as the primary engine of economic recovery. But sheesh. That old sawhorse about the alienation that people feel from the leadership in Washington has always struck me as a dull non-starter, like saying that anonymous commenters on the Internet are genuinely angry about all the gay retards, but somehow this time around feels different. This is one of the most alienating political circuses I’ve ever seen. It’s confusing, it’s “scary,” and everyone seems to be acting like a real fucking asshole about it. ANYWAY, I think what really got me in the paper yesterday was an article about the on-going political uprising in Syria because the opening paragraph of the article described new developments in the “four-month old popular uprising against the regime of President Bashar al-Assad,” and I just was thinking, like, you know, FUCK, this country full of human beings engulfed in four straight months of unrest and violent disorder and I am sure that I could count the number of times that I’ve thought about Syria in the past four months on one hand. Maybe it is just that I am a bad person. That’s entirely possible. But it could also be that the world is vast and overwhelming and completely absorbed in an infinite number of dangerous problems. At a certain point you start to think about it and you’re just like, CAN’T EVERYONE PLEASE WATCH THIS VIDEO OF A BABY CHIMPANZEE FEEDING A TIGER CUB AND RELAX?

See what I mean? PROBLEMS SOLVED. (Via TheDailyWhat.)

Comments (25)
  1. “See? We warned you about this kind of thing.” – gay marriage opponents

  2. You should’ve said Spoiler Alert…

    Now I have no reason to go see Rise of the Planet of the Apes.

  3. I suspect that in a few years, we’ll all be watching a video entitled “Adult Tiger Eating Adult Chimpanzee,” and feel a sense of nostalgia for this simpler time.

  4. What they need to be worried about is the popular uprising against anyone who is not in love with this video.

  5. Well said on all counts. I would try to make a better point, but it just makes me scared, so instead I will watch this video again.

  6. The viral marketing for Rise of the Planet of the Apes is confusing.

  7. Guys, just showed this video to my ex-girlfriend. We’re getting back together! And she’s pregnant!

  8. Is that Burn Gorman feeding a baby Tiger?

    • Someone got butthurt by my Gorman burn. Assuming this means that someone else out there knows who Burn Gorman is, I’m calling this a win!

  9. Never-nude monkeys are now a thing?

  10. I just need a video of a rooster kissing an ox and I’ll have my Thai Zodiac EGOT

  11. FAKE!

    This is viral marketing for “Rise of the (planet of the) Apes”.

  12. I was all for this until I saw in the background as the woman spoke that the chimp was held closely to the ground by giant chains that weren’t very long and didn’t provide much movement.

    Well that and the provisions in that debt ceiling plan will pretty much ensure these are the last of their species. Though I guess it’s their fault for not knowing to get domesticated during the agricultural revolution so that they may rest comfortably on the couch I built for my dog. I think he would benefit greatly from a chimp or tiger buddy.

    That being said, I’m going to take my Debbie Downer self and go sit in the corner for awhile. And try not to read more about the debt ceiling. And maybe find some mail order bride service for Americans to get to Western Europe or Vancouver or whatever. Because not creeps use that kind of service, right? Obviously. Pfew.

    • Thanks for bringing that up badidajeans or did I spell your name wrong. These zoos suck. They take baby animals away from moms and have them raised by another species tied down by heavy chains and make viral videos to make people come to their Zoos. I hate seeing stuff like this or other not happily captive animal stuff on videogum, this is my happy place…

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