Have you seen this new-ish daytime show, The Doctors? Basically, The Doctors is like The View, only with doctors. But the doctors aren’t any smarter than the women on The View, the way you would think doctors would be! I’m not suggesting that anyone actually watch it – watch it, but if you’re home sick and looking to shake things up, I highly recommend The Doctors. Today, BWE put up this insane-seeming, yet completely representative clip from the show about how kids are supposedly putting alcohol in their holes. Drinking game: every time the lady doctor says “Destroy the vagina,” insert a vodka-soaked tampon:

The best thing about The Doctors is every show is exactly like that: the perpetuation of crazy lies. Nobody is putting vodka-soaked tampons in her vagina. Nobody is funneling beer into their butts, much less “kids.” Possibly one person ever did either of those things, but now like 50,000 stay-at-home moms are going to have “The Vodka-Soaked Tampon Talk” with their kids tonight. That show is the best.

Comments (34)
  1. y  |   Posted on Nov 10th, 2008 +9

    I love how they all giggle at the box of tampons even though they are all doctors and over the age of 12.

  2. Mary Mouse  |   Posted on Nov 10th, 2008 +4

    They should rename The Bachelor “Vaginas and Vodka.” That way you’d have a much better idea of what the show is about before you start watching.

  3. bree  |   Posted on Nov 10th, 2008 +3

    when i was in college a bunch of my male friends were into shooting whiskey up their butts with a turkey baster.

    seriously. in public. at parties.

    they were special guys.

  4. I’ve never heard of the vodka tampon
    It’s such a flawed concept. You would take it out of the application, soak it, and put it back in the applicator?
    Where would you do this?
    Iunno….perhaps I’ll try.

  5. To bad the so called “doctor” on the far right is such a bro he would probably do both.

  6. Beefy  |   Posted on Nov 10th, 2008 0

    Wow, people are stupid.

  7. when i heard “…and Jim, youve got an example there” i got really really scared.

    • YES! That also scared me, but what scared me more was the fact this show is actually on television. I’ve never even heard of “The Doctors” so I immediately thought this vodka tampon thing was gonna be some video from College Humor or Funny or Die, but this is real awfulness.. Yikes.

  8. BingBong  |   Posted on Nov 10th, 2008 +1

    Cool. Now I have something new to try this weekend!

  9. Does anyone else think that the doctor who says “destroys the vagina” sounds A LOT like Paula Abdul?

  10. This is so completely and totally NOT TRUE IN ANY WAY. There is just NO WAY IN HELL you could get a wet tampon up your snatch. NO WAY. No way., It’s all lies.

  11. It shows you how mediocre SNL has been recently that this hasn’t been done to death yet. I could write a timeless sketch based on this. And I’m illiterate!

  12. i love how he’s worried about portion control! if you’ve resorted to squirting beer up your ass to get drunk then losing your balance and hitting your head is most likely the goal. death would be a blessing.

  13. “DOCTAH, DOCTAH, TELL ME THE NEWS!!”

    No, no thank you.

  14. I use OB because I like a challenge but I agree that this is nearly impossible to do and also, no one would bother to try shoving a wet collapsing was of cotton up their holes. The time it would take for your ‘vagina material!!!’ to absorb the alcohol into the bloodstream wouldn’t be that far off from just taking a damn shot. Vagina material, hit your head, DIE.

  15. Michele  |   Posted on Nov 11th, 2008 +1

    1. OB is so much easier than those applicator. More compact – less trash, too.
    2. They’re in cahoots with Oprah. They come up with this retarded idea, eventually some kid somewhere will try it (the “Rudy Syndrome”), die and then Oprah can have a very special episode about it, eventually trickling down to a character on Passions.
    3. If it wouldn’t totally destroy my vagina, I’d try it.
    4. RE: anal beer funneling – now, they should have mentioned to be sure and use KY, because the petroleum in vasoline will break down the plastic of the hose…

  16. Ok, I think I’ve figured it out. You take a regular tampon in the applicator and drop it into vodka. It will soak up the vodka from the claw-like opening at the front. Then you just use it normally, and then you fall down and die.

    Sincerely, MacGyver.

  17. how does an ass beer bong work? wouldn’t it spill out?

    now ass douche… that i can work with.

  18. The vodka Tampon is from CSI, and the funny thing is that I did actually want to hear someone investigating if you can get intoxicated from such a thing. That was the episode that the Two and a Half Men writers did. This is the saddest thing I have ever written.

  19. Of course they only tell you about the times that people get hurt. I?ve been giving myself alcoholonics for the past five years and haven?t noticed any health problems. Although I am wasted all of the time, so I don?t really notice things like ?heart failures? or ?anal bleeding?.

  20. sara  |   Posted on Nov 11th, 2008 0

    two of my best friends are middle and high school teachers and apparently this has been a growing trend in the past year, especially around prom time

  21. Ugh yeah I found this video and its so stupid, but I totally get where they’re coming from http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=ewNktbOVBNw

  22. viciouslove1980  |   Posted on Nov 12th, 2008 +1

    so you can get alcohol poisoning and toxic shock syndrome from this and kids do it? also, what if the chick that’s done this gets laid? wouldn’t that burn the hell out of the guy’s penis? so many questions.

  23. vagDestroya  |   Posted on Nov 12th, 2008 0

    all i know is this horseshit took the place of syndicated simpsons episodes, a sacred half hour of tv since i was about 12. what the fuck.

  24. was your vagina drunk?

  25. Tracey  |   Posted on Nov 19th, 2008 0

    Actually it’s not new. Google vodka tampon and you’ll see that although it may not be as popular as they’re hyping it to be it is a known method in some circles. the sad thing is talking about it on tv is only going to make it worse. I’m sure it will soon be the topic du jour as dumb as kids decide to try it and get alcohol poisoning. Dumbasses.

  26. im probably the only high school student on here, but for the adults on here saying this doesn’t happen… it does. i don’t know what makes any of you think its just ‘crazy lies’ ive seen it. infact my town is holding a school dance tonight where the facilty is cracking down on drinking and i know for a fact there will be a good amount of kids doing this.

    believe it or not it happens, discusting enough.

  27. Carly  |   Posted on Mar 12th, 2009 0

    this really does happen all the time. my dad works in the ER and gets patients such as this on a regular basis. There is a college right near by the hospital!

  28. Rebecca  |   Posted on Sep 25th, 2009 0

    Grownups, you should spend a little time on textsfromlastnight.com if you don’t believe stuff like this and more is happening. Here’s one from tonight, which led me to google “vodka tampon” and led me here:

    (716): i opened her purse and found 4 bottles of vodka tampons and an unopened box of birth control…

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