Hahahaha. Looking good, boys. Looking GREAT! You know, no one really talks about how weird it is that wax sculptures is even still a THING in 2011. That’s very weird! How is that even still a thing?! “Honey, do you want to go down to the place and look at the fake people made of wax with scary wigs and weird-fitting clothes? We can take our picture there and show our friends the picture I guess.” “I do want to do that. I’m so glad that I married you because you have good ideas for things to do that sound fun and interesting and I am in love with you so much.” I also feel that the common appendage of “Museum” is a bit grandiose. Is it really a museum? How about Wax Place. Better. Anyway, A TOAST TO OUR NEW FRIENDS! What do you think these guys talk about when the doors to the MUSEUM are locked for the night and all of the figures come to life? Oh to be a wax fly on the wax wall to listen in on that wax conversation!

Winner will receive special placement in this week’s Monsters’ Ball. (Image via TheSuperficial.)

Comments (84)
  1. Bruce Campbell and Errol Flynn, together at last.

    • Or George Takei and the guy from the Dos Equis commercials, together at last.

      • “Let’s give one of them some mangy facial hair, and the other one a set of distinctive arched eyebrows, and when melted together (haha) they both could make up [obscure Tomorrow Never Dies co-star] Jonathan Pryce.” -Lord Maximillian Wax, III

  2. That’s some hot wax.

  3. It would be a pretty neat prank if Cloons dumped that glass of wax on Pitt’s wax crotch!

  4. What a paraffin lookin’ fellas!

  5. I guess they skipped Fourteen and Fifteen, went straight to Oceans Sixteen Candles.

  6. “He will come up to you and tell you something very serious, and then you walk away and you realize your pants are are puddly mess. He’s had like a candle. He’s been melting your crotch the whole time.” -Wax Ryan Gosling

  7. Sure the wax versions look fake, but they probably never talk about politics.

  8. Little known fact: It is actually the real Brad Pitt and George Clooney, covered in a fine yet durable coat of wax. Ryan Gosling’s revenge is complete.

  9. Think about how toned Clooney’s arm will be from holding his glass like that for eternity.

  10. Tourists will play a lot of money to see these.

  11. Melt After Meeting.

  12. Q: Do the curtains match the drapes?

    A: No, they wax down there.

  13. Our arms hurt.

  14. “And for my greatest prank of all I will douse myself in boiling hot wax, smirking of course, only to one day emerge grotesquely disfigured so that everyone who sees my face will literally pee their pants,” George Clooney (1961-2011)

  15. The Wax of Life, meet Joe Wax.

  16. “Madame Tussaud’s is way overpriced and we can have just as much fun at Monsieur Grossholtz’s Discount Funtime Waxitorium. Now let’s enjoy this George Croomey and Brad Plitt exhibit in peace or I won’t take you to see the Dustin Beaver statue.” — Dads

  17. This year’s perfect collector’s item/gift for fans both (both!) Batman & Robin and Cool World!

  18. “Want to make a movie about white people problems?”

  19. Of all the strange goings-on in Twin Peaks, my biggest question is: why does the Black Lodge have wax figures?

  20. “Our private lives are none of your beeswax, but yes, we are made of beeswax.”

  21. Not a caption, but is wax clooney drinking straight gasoline? Because it looks like gasoline. Or grape-flavored Isopure.

  22. Spoiler Alert: They were wax the whole time.

  23. If they could they’d tell us all how much fun they had being made.

  24. “Just keep smirking, Brad. It will make it that much sweeter when we reveal ourselves.”–Tom Pranks, disguised as Wax George Clooney

    • I was originally going to make a joke about “yadda yadda burn that up starting at the wick”, but those two aren’t man-dles, they’re can-donts. Yikes.

  25. Some of the sculptor’s early work:

  26. they really captured the smug. talented waxist over there.

  27. G: Should I invite wax Bradley Cooper to hang out over here with us?

    B: Who?

  28. And it seemed to me, they lived their lives like a Clooney in the wind.

  29. Being white, waxy and hard is hard.

  30. two wax statues Paris Hilton hasn’t given herpes yet.

  31. “Just when I thought my wife was running out of inanimate objects to sleep with!”-Wax Jay Leno
    “…”-Wax Kevin Eubanks (His Fender Jazzmaster is wax).

  32. What kind of wax suits do you like to wear? Yours are always very nice.

  33. Things like this have always interested me. We feel a lot like we know what past civilizations were like from their artifacts, and we feel we know a lot about the history of biology from fossils and carbon copies. But what if that stuff is all the weird, esoteric downright laughable stuff from that day? What if T-Rex was the slow, stupid kid everyone picked on at school, and not a giant running shark with jaws that could tear through a firetruck that we esteem him to be?

    What I’m saying is that it would be the pinnacle of irony if it’s things like this that are what people remember about our society a millenia from now. They might think that we truly valued these sorts of things–terrible looking wax statues of cultural icons. And somehow, I’m sure that is how they will see us.

  34. Are they doing custom Real Dolls now!? Where are my pictures of Robert Z’Dar!?

  35. Not facial-ticky nor squinty enough.

  36. Wax George: “Hey Brad, where’s Wax Lips?”
    Wax Brad: “Not cool, bro. That’s my wife you’re talking about.”

  37. “would you fuck me?…. I’d fu….. oh, man, wait a sec, I look very weird and I’m dressed like an Eastern European from 1993.”

  38. “I’d wax that” – Thisismynightmare

  39. “What’s up with wax Topher Grace?”

  40. *SPOILER ALERT* -Brad Pitt’s wax statue isn’t really there, it’s just a figment of Wax Clooney’s troubled wax mind.

  41. contrary to popular belief, we are not gay.

  42. Wax Brad: “I wish I could explain to you what it’s like to work with Terry Malick. It almost can’t be put into words. Maybe one day you’ll get the chance to work with him. But then, Terry’s so fickle, hee hee.”

    Wax George: “I have worked with him. I was in The Thin Red Line.”

    Wax Brad: “Really? That’s funny, I don’t think so. Are you sure? I mean, I don’t think that’s…Are you sure?”

    Wax George: “Sigh.”

  43. And the race is on to see which versions will age slower!

  44. “Rewax, you guys. They’re gone. Okay, so the plan is…”
    -George Clooney still thinking he’s Danny Ocean and him and all the other wax figures are going to steal the five-diamond award from the casino that Banks is opening the following weekend because Banks forgot to be nice to an old man who was on the brink of a heart attack anyway.

  45. Charles Bronson: I’ve become neurotically hyper-conscious and empathic of the glass in my hand.
    Josh Holloway: I no longer interpret my hand as a part of my body, but as a monster with two horn-like tentacles protruding from the sides of it’s front.

  46. I have 3 Submissions –
    BP (to No One): “I’m Wax.”
    GC (to You): “I’m Wax.”
    (BP and GC to No One and to You): “We’re Wax.”

  47. I wonder if this is another of Clooney’s pranks. If so, what happens next? Do you think he has a wax squirt bottle that he sprays on each visitor’s genitals? What a lovable curmudgeon.


  49. if their candle wicks could talk …

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