Last episode left us with a lot of instability. Walt was alive (but for how long?), Jesse was alive (but for how long and also how will he deal with being a murderer?), Victor was not alive (and what does that mean for everyone else?), Hank something about rocks (HANK!), the baby was nervous (oh no baby!), and I felt sick because of how gross all of the Victor stuff was. It was a rough first episode, leading us to an also rough second episode during which everyone is forced to deal with themselves and what their lives have become. “How will they deal?” you wonder. Will Walt and Skyler just get back together and move somewhere else and everyone will leave them alone and then they’ll live happily ever after? Will Jesse find a nice girl and get married to her and have a child in another state where everyone leaves him alone? What kind of music does Mike listen to? Questions we were all asking, none of which were answered in this episode. And it turns out they’re not dealing with themselves very well at all, actually!

The episode opens with Walt attempting to purchase a gun from a black market dealer. “Dangit, Walt!” we all think. He’s broken bad so hard that bad is almost put back together! Feel free to use that and attribute it to me. The dealer tells him that he usually stays out of the business of those he deals with (seems like it), but he is curious about Walt’s case. Walt assures him, many times, that he intends to use the gun for self defense. But then why does he need a filed off serial number? “Have you ever seen Minority Report?” Walt asks. “It’s basically like that.” “What are you talking about?” says the gun dealer. “I don’t know. Killing someone for something that they’re going to do in the future? It doesn’t matter, none of this actually happened in the episode.” “Oohhhh, I was wondering why I didn’t remember it,” says the dealer. He also critiques his pulling-out-the-gun-and-shooting-it style, and tells him to practice.

Back at Jesse’s apartment, he plays with what seems like the first sound system ever invented:

Very big sound system! Also he has a roomba.

Hi, roomba! And then Skinny Pete and Badger come over. Hey guys, long time no see. They admire the largest sound system ever created while Jesse explains its specs. “Tweeters,” “parametric equalization,” “cones,” “etc.” Boring, Jesse. We GET it, you’re distracting yourself in every single way you possibly can rather than deal with the horrible things you’ve committed and witnessed in the past few days, but that doesn’t mean you have to bore us with it.

The boys tell Jesse that they saw Andrea — Jesse’s former love interest, mother of Brock, sister of Tomas, recovering addict — at an NA meeting the other day, and that she asked about him. This comes back later in the episode, but at this moment it leads only to a scene of Jesse getting ready to do some meth. Oh, great. He offers it to Badger and Skinny Pete, the first of whom accepts — “Maybe just a little bump.” The second of whom declines — “12 steps and all that.” Cut to: Both of them super high, talking about zombie video games for LIKE AN HOUR. Jesus! I’m sorry if this was supposed to be appreciated as commentary about Jesse’s current mental state, but I was too busy zoning out completely because video games. Then Jesse says it’s quiet. TOO quiet. So they have a very big party.

Meanwhile, Walt sits in his condo and practices pulling out his gun and firing it. Practice makes perfect. Practice makes scary.

Then we get to check back in with Hank and Marie. Oh, good. I was wondering how their life was going! Oh, bad? Very depressing and bad? Dang. Hank is up at 2:25 in the morning examining his minerals (ROCKS!) and is upset with Marie for not actually caring about them or his interest in them. Uh doy, they’re rocks and it’s two in the morning. He tells her “there are four bedrooms in this house” and is a huge jerk. It’s not very clear to me why he is so terrible to Marie, and I guess maybe it’s not supposed to be. Because he resents having to rely on her so much? He resents her sunny demeanor thinly veiling how terrible she knows their situation is? He is in love with rocks now and doesn’t love her anymore because she just can’t give him what rocks can? In any case, it is very frustrating. Let’s check in with Jesse again.

Roomba roomba roomba. There were a few weird camera things with this episode — mostly weird point-of-view things — and I think this one was the first:

Roombacam. It’s the morning after the party and there are bodies sleeping all over the floor. Jesse leaves Badger and Skinny Pete with a bunch of money to buy everyone breakfast and more liquor, and instructs them to “KEEP THIS PARTY GOIN’!” Then he turns up the music and leaves for work. Ugh, Jesse! No one wants you to turn up the music. Everyone will definitely be ready to party more if you just let them sleep and leave them alone for a bit, man, come on. Don’t be a mom about this. Just five more minutes pleeeaseeee.

At work, Walter attempts to conceal his gun while a new guy walks in:

Uh oh, that’s not Gus! Then Mike walks in and explains that they’ll be weighing the batches twice now. Which I assume will be a problem for Jesse, since hasn’t he been skimming some off the top for a while? Walter asks about Gus, and Mike explains that he’ll never see him again. Awww, no! “But I wanted to kill him I mean I miss himmmmmm.”

As we check in with Skyler, we see her taking notes outside of the carwash, tracking what each person is getting done. Earlier in the episode she called Walter to tell him that she wanted to take action on buying it, so here is the action she’s taking. “Are you just, like, trying to figure out what the people are getting so you can better service them when you own the carwash?” is a thought that actually entered my head for a moment at this point in the episode because I am verrrrry dumb.

Then we’re back with Hank. HANK! He’s working with his physical trainer and doing a great job. He can walk all the way to his bedroom and is actually in good spirits. He high-fives his trainer and then almost leaves Marie hanging because HE IS A JERK.

But he eventually high-fives her as well. She is very excited for him and talks about making some kind of dinner. He responds, “Get out.” I respond, “YOU GET OUT.”

Back at the party, they’ve ordered the skinniest pizza ever.

And it is not sliced. “They pass the savings on to you,” says Badger or Skinny Pete or one of them. Hahah, what? What’s the deal with this part? Is this just to explain why there was a whole pizza on the roof in that other episode from a million years ago? Hey Breaking Bad, nobody cares about that. Stop freaking talking about the unsliced pizza unless it’s some kind of metaphor for, like, Jesse being unable to share himself with his friends because he is, you know, a whole pizza or something, I can’t even come up with a fake metaphor for it.

Andrea shows up. Hi, Andrea! “I guess you know I’ve been calling,” she says, and shows him the envelope of cash he left in her mailbox the night Walt ran over those two drug dealers. She asks if someone is going to come looking for it, and Jesse tells her no — he just wants her to use it to get herself and Brock out of the neighborhood. Aw, Jes. He waves to Brock, Andrea and Brock leave, and he goes back to the party.

Then it’s Heisenberg time. Walt puts on his Heisenberg hat while in his car parked, presumably, outside of Gus’s house.

At this point I feel like you know that he’s not going to be murdering Gus at this moment. Then again, you don’t know that, because almost anything can happen. AMC: Almost Anything Can Happen. But probably they’re going to drag that out a little longer. And they do. He receives a call from Mike saying, “Go home.” Ooooh. That was scary! And he does go home. A bit of a half-baked scheme, it seemed like. I don’t know what Walt was thinking. That he could just shoot Gus and then…? Come on, Walt. First of all that person probably has A MILLION people who want to shoot him, and probably he has protection for that. Second of all, you are clearly not the guy to do it. “I just bought a gun so now I can kill Gus.” – Walt, incorrect. Dummy. Quit trying to break bad, dummy! You’ve already broken it!

The next day, Skyler has a meeting with the owner of the carwash. She states her intention, and he responds with: “This isn’t an easy job. Are you ok with getting down on your hands and knees and scrubbing, using harsh chemicals, etc.?” Uh, guy? She can probably hire people to do that. She is going to be running the entire carwash herself. Give me a b. He talks about how he built the business himself from nothing, etc., and says the price would be:

TEN MILLION DOLLARS. I realize that Dr. Evil never says ten million dollars but GIVE ME A BREAK. And anyway: Hahahah. Ok, guy. “Let’s try 879,000,” says Skyler, and hits him with a bunch of estimated values and averages and research basically that she gathered while in the car with her baby.

And he says, “Ok how about twenty million dollars.” Huh? Oh it’s because he knows she’s Walter’s husband and is still mad at Walter for quitting and grabbing himself and ruining his air fresheners. Guh. Ok, guy. I think it’s time to let it go and just sell your dumb carwash but WHATEVER. Do whatever you want. See what I care. NEXT.

Walt meets with Mike at a bar. “You might want to learn how to tail better if you’re planning on making it happen,” says Mike. Uh yeah, hello. He also might want to learn how to do EVERYTHING involved with it better. Walt explains himself to Mike — That he hopes Mike understands that everything he has done and plans to do is only to protect himself and his partner, and the he understands that Mike was just following orders when he tried to kill him. “That’s a load off my mind,” Mike says. Hahah, Mike. Good one. Mike then acknowledges the “concealed” weapon on Walt’s hip and tells him that it’s not going to help anything. Walt asks Mike to just get him in a room with Gus, trying to get him on his side against Gus. “Everyone Hates Gus.” “Are you done?” asks Mike. And then he punches him!

And says, “Thanks for the drink.” And even though we’re supposed to be on Walt’s side in this series, we are maybe definitely on Mike’s side here. At least I am. Slow your role, Walt. We love you. Don’t be stupid. Take a nap.

Back at Jesse’s apartment, the party has finally ended. Jesse pleads with Badger and Skinny Pete to stay, but neither do, leaving Jesse alone. It’s then that we see what they’ve been hinting at (or basically saying directly) throughout the entire episode — that Jesse has been using anything he can to keep himself from being alone with his thoughts. And now that he is alone, he breaks down.

And it is very sad. Jesse!

Not a whole lot happened in the way of actual plot development in this episode, but there was certainly a lot of insight into how each character is dealing with their horrible new lives. All badly! Just trying to get by in any way they can, and they’ve all chosen all of the wrong ways. Booo. Sorry, guys. You gotta fall to fly, I guess. Hopefully next week EVERYONE will have a happy ending just kidding I hope this nightmare goes on forever because I love it.

Comments (45)
  1. DJ ROOMBA ;____; IT UP

  2. Hidden due to low comment rating. Click here to see

    • I think it’s still so damn fast– just in a different way. Like, this season has already so subtly been so hard and fast without much happening that you’re like, “How the hell are the going to do this for ten more episodes?”

    • So for Breaking Bad it’s ok to start with season one?

      • Well, it doesn’t really find it’s stride until the third season, when Walter discovers Francis married an Inuit girl in Alaska. That, I’d say, is the moment where the show really jumps the shark Breaks Bad.

        • Does html work anymore? Why can’t I strikethrough? Pretend that A certain obvious phrase is struck all the way through. And while you’re pretending, pretend me a pony. WOW what a great pony! Thanks, pretender.

    • Werttrew, there were slow episodes in Season One. Every symphony has some slow parts to help accentuate the loud, exciting parts. Anyhow, my point is that Breaking Bad always goes fast and then goes pretty slow for a week or two. Usually I’m watching on DVD so I just start the next one after a slow ep. Now i have to wait, which is the worst.

    • The show has to kiss us before it fucks us, werttrew.

  3. “He’s broken bad so hard that bad is almost put back together!” – Kelly

  4. PREDICTIONS!

    1.) Marie will probs have an affair with the physical therapist.

    2.) Mike is coughing which means he has cancer now. WALT IS CONTAGIOUS!

  5. It’s probably about time this comments thread was KICKING HARDER THAN A SENSEI!!!

  6. Skinny Pete had the line of the night when he and Badger were mething out and arguing about zombie Nazi mode in Call of Duty: Who cares what their job was before they died?

  7. My prediction: Hank is collecting all those “minerals” with the intention of cutting them up and selling them as fake drugs, poisoning everyone who purchases the drugs he can find in the drug trade. He will go to jail for mass murder via the poison drugs he will be selling. He will do this because he is bitter about getting shot and stuff. The end.

  8. Also the gun dealer dude was the same actor who played Ellsworth in Deadwood.

  9. very upset i was not an extra for the party scene. i will be doing much more meth until i accomplish this.

  10. Love this recap! I don’t even want to watch the show now. I think it would pale in comparison.

  11. I’m pretty sure they are just doing coke and not Meth in that scene – A FRIEND WHO KNOWS EXPLAINED TO ME ABOUT DRUGS

  12. Was it Mike who called Walt? I thought it was Magic Gus.

  13. Dear Kelly: Plot is character, character is plot. -F. Scott Fitzgerald

  14. I have a Heisenberg hat, too. Only it plays soothing Kenny G when I wear it.

  15. When is Hank going to stop training and finally challenge Walter Jr. to a race? Do we HAVE to wait for the Finale?

  16. I feel like the major characters, besides HANK!, are just doing the same thing they did when they were in similar situations. Jesse checks out and can’t deal with being alone, Walt makes the dumbest decisions while remaining an annoying asshole to those around him.

    I did appreciate the Ellsworth wisdom. He also gave the same ‘none of my business’ speech to Trixie when she got a gun for defense. But he ended it better that time: ‘And fuck us all anyway for the limber-dicked cocksuckers we are’.

  17. Were they really doing meth at DJ Roomba partay? I had to watch the episode illegally in Dublin and it looked like good old fashioned cocaine to me.

  18. This show is incredible. I wonder if the minerals hank looks at will lead to the blue meth in Walt’s meth.

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