On last night’s Late Night with Jimmy Fallon, Justin Timberlake returned for another boring press junket interview about the abhorrent-looking Friends with Benefits installment of the popular History of Rap medley series. Oh snap. Hahhaa. Oh snap.
My favorite era in the history of rap was the 1990s, when everybody rapped. EVERYBODY. Even crash test dummies and racist cartoon raisins were rapping then!
Yo Im a rappin Rhino and Im here to say
I love fruity pebbles in a major way
They’re bedrock yellow, orange, purple, lime and red
But the get the Fruity taste, I’ve gotta trick Fred!
Anybody else remember that commercial? That’s my go-to 90s rap for whenever I’m called upon to rap.
Totally! Or the rap breakdown in the I’m the Baby song from Dinosaurs, a.k.a. Family Guy with Muppets. Still know all the words, no matter how hard I try to forget them.
Whoa whoa whoa! Slow down now. Who said the California Raisins were racist?! They’re Emmy Award-winning anthropomorphic motown singers! Calling them racist because they are caricatured raisin versions of black motown singers is is like calling Sebastian the crab is racist because he speaks in a Jamaican accent!
I will not stand for this. My memories of the Claymation Christmas Special will not be tarnished by such off-base, libelous accusations!
On the topic of Friends with Benefits, is there a more Hollywood dickbag of a plot than “beautiful people get to bang each other commitment-free, for fun?” That movie is going to make $18 off of people who are interested in the movie, and $900,000,000 off of people wanting to see the hot person of the opposite (or same! RAWR) sex.
Is there a more Hollywood dickbag of a plot? Erm…
Now imagine Vince Chase having commitment free sex with Mandy Moore, oops nevermind
That’s exactly the same thing! Sure some of the people on that show are trolls, but when they happen to bag some good looking person, the entire plot focuses on everyone else ripping on them (haha frat BROS) for “what they had to do to land someone that ‘bangin’, bro.” Insinuating, NO, they should NOT be able to have commitment free sex for fun because they ain’t got no alibi, they ugly. (rap reference, topical)
I don’t even understand how Friends With Benefits isn’t out yet. I feel like the ads for that movie started airing like a week after I was born. I thought the recent ads were for the DVD release. It’s actually causing me anxiety that I thought this movie had already been in theaters, failed, and gone to DVD in the time since I first became aware of it.
It already did come out, it was called No Strings Attatched
History of rap without P. Diddy? That’s like the history of the world without Hitler.
“Hitler was a visionary, stop lying ’bout da holocaust. I’m hanging wit’ Aryan bitches, tryin’ to get my salad tossed”–Rapper ‘Blitzkrieg Kris’, off his BANGIN’ debut LP ‘Ghetto Gestapo’.
I feel like I need to apologize to Fallon on a weekly basis. I was a naysayer when he got this job and I was a big bowl of wrong with a side of wrong sauce.
I liked the part where they played the bass riff from the Queen song “Under Pressure”.
This bar mitzvah looks fun.
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