If there was one thing that DS3M’s new tattoo reminded us this week, it’s that Videogum’s community is a special place. I know that we have a tendency to get gushy and sentimental and mildly self-congratulatory once every three months or so, but you know what: GOOD. There are worse things to be than gushy and sentimental. We could be bitter and mean-spirited! Admittedly, self-congratulatory isn’t the best look, but, you know, YIN AND YANG SYMBOL. Hahah. I don’t even know what that means, but the point is: guys! Videogum! Comments! Potentially questionable body modification decisions that nevertheless express a deep well of inter-human engagement and emotional connection! It’s neat! Bartender, a round of Videogum tattoos for all my friends here I’M JUST KIDDING, BARTENDER, THAT WAS A JOKE BARTENDER, PUT THE NEEDLE DOWN BARTENDER! Oh, bartender. He is nice but so stupid! Hey, while we’re here, will you also please give a warm welcome to our three summer interns: Andrew Kornfield, Joseph Poteracki, and Kelly Korto. They are going to be helping out around the house. But just because interns work here, your mom doesn’t, so clean up your own messes. (What?) (TGIF.)

After the jump, the five Highest Rated comments, as voted on by you, the Lowest Rated comment, the winner of the 10 Hours Of Mario Climbing A Vine Caption Contest, and the Editor’s and Associate Editor’s Choice.

This Week’s Highest Rated Comments


Drew Mokris | Jul 14th Score:72
Posted in: Videogum Is Forever, At Least For DS3M
#4 Stephen Meowlkmus | Jul 14th Score:78

My high school nickname was also Gobblegirl! But that’s because I was a giant whore.

Posted in: Videogum Is Forever, At Least For DS3M
#3 Ian | Jul 14th Score:83

Thanks for inspiring my new Olive Garden tattoo Gabe, a tramp stamp that says when you’re here you’re family

Posted in: Videogum Is Forever, At Least For DS3M
#2 Frank Lloyd Wrong | Jul 11th Score:87

Fake and G’Day.

Posted in: The Hunt For The Worst Movie Of All Time: Australia
#1 facetaco | Jul 14th Score:89

Shut the fuck up, Gabe!

Posted in: Alison Brie And Gillian Jacobs GQ “Lesbian Scene” Open Thread

[Assoc. Ed. Note: Oh my goodness, you have no idea how upset I am that this is the highest rated comment. As soon as I saw that comment yesterday I thought, "This will be my pick for Monsters Ball!" I even TOLD someone, in real life, that this would be my pick for Monsters' Ball. And now look. (Not to diminish what will now be my pick for Monsters' Ball. But. You were a very near second choice.) In any case, congratulations, facetaco. This was a very good comment. To give you the background in this comment, it was said in response to me after I complained about people calling me Gabe in the comments. A++. ]

This Week’s Lowest Rated Comment

#1 agpt | Jul 14th Score:-18
Gabe, this is like calling “CAR!” for no reason during a perfectly good road hockey game. Put the net back in place and stop disrupting our fun with critical thought. Also, boobs.
Posted in: Alison Brie And Gillian Jacobs GQ “Lesbian Scene” Open Thread

[Assoc. Ed. Note: Oh, so, this is the comment that I responded to that prompted facetaco's response. That was easy! Gabe did not yell "CAR!," Kelly yelled "CAR!" ]

This Week’s Caption Contest Winner

  facetaco | Jul 12th Score:51

The Tree Of Life is nothing like I expected it to be.

Posted in: The Videogum Why Don’t YOU Caption It? Contest: 10 Hours Of Mario Climbing A Vine

[Ed. Note: Congratulations, facetaco. You earned it! ]

This Week’s Associate Editor’s Choice

  Nate Scott! | Jul 13th Score:3

Does anyone know what the song is?

Posted in: The Videogum Why Don’t YOU Caption It? Contest: 10 Hours Of Mario Climbing A Vine

[Assoc. Ed. Note: Hahah, Nate Scott, I hope your win doesn't feel at all diminished by how I was talking about facetaco's comment up there before, because this comment is very good as well. Everybody knows what the song is. That's why it is funny. Is it funnier now that I explained it? Please let me know.]

This Week’s Editor’s Choice

[Ed. Note: One of the highlights from this week, at least for me, was the return of Hugh Jackman peeing his pants jokes, which are just some of my favorite jokes. So I have selected this two-comment exchange for Editor's choice because I would hate for smoky marcella or anyone else to go even one more day without knowing the origin of those jokes. Goooood jokes!]

Comments (59)
  1. Howdy Monsters!

    Just a quick reminder for the Monsters up North. The 1st Canadian Meetup is tomorrow in Toronto!! Check it out dudes. Don’t do anything I wouldn’t, like get tattoos about a website. (JKLOL DS3M, you crazy for this one!)*

    *I’ve met Richard several times. He’s my boy and I can’t wait to see his tat IRL.

  2. Kelly: Facetaco’s comment will be my Associate Editor’s Choice for Monster’s Ball this week on Videogum
    Kelly’s Friend: I have no idea what any of that means

    • Seriously! It’s like busting into a room and screaming “I tide fashion Good-looking, not expensive Free transport!”

    • Try complaining to your friends about the emotional rollercoaster you’re riding after “winning” a hollow Associate Editor’s Choice for Monster’s Ball this week on Videogum. It’s like they don’t care at all.

  3. Yes! This is actually happening! (right? It is right?)

    • regards to the Toronto Monster Meet. Apparently I won’t be able to go because I fail at the very base level of being a monster.

      Comments! They’re so hard!

  4. I now have a somewhat alarming feeling that the videogum community is held together by Hugh Jackman’s pee.

    Also, weekend! Yay weekend!

    I couldn’t find a legend of zelda gif, so disgruntled Bowie will have to do.

  5. Gabe said: “I even TOLD someone, in real life, that this would be my pick for Monsters’ Ball.”

    Wait… VideoGum isn’t real life?

  6. So, apropos of my half EC, I thought I should share some pee pants-related news that I just learned, namely that professional football players pee themselves, like, all the time during games. If you think about it, they’re out there on the sideline for over an hour with nowhere to go and they’re super hydrated. Next time you’re watching a game, every time they cut to the sideline and a player’s standing there with a towel hanging over his front, it’s because he’s peeing himself. Enjoy!


  8. GABE! Andrew Kornfeld here! There is no i in my last name! Rookie mistake!

    Anyway, happy weekend, y’all! Is anyone else tryna go to Mr. Coconuts on Tuesday?!

  9. Inspired by this awesome post, I wanted you all to see my new tattoo! Happy Friday!

  10. Happy weekend everyone! I’m off to brave L.A.’s “Carmageddon.” Super clever L.A., you’re just the cleverest.

  11. I have been mentioned in two Monster’s Ball-earning comments so far, and I think that it is as close as I am ever going to come. But I am okay with that, because both of those comments have been STELLAR.

  12. How will we know which one is editor Kelly and which one is intern Kelly? Can we call the intern Kelly Jr. or Lil’ Kelly? Or should we just stick with the traditional Gabe?

    • Aren’t we all just versions of Gabe in this land anyway?

    • I think Lil’ Kelly should be reserved for a rapper with a little hand, or a little foot or something. Or a small guy. When this would happen in school, I’d go with “Kelly 2: Electric Boogaloo”, but in this case, I think I’d just prefer “Gabe”.

  13. It’s been awhile since I’ve been in the Ball. Now I’ve tasted it’s blood again! YOUR CITY IS DOOMED!

  14. Weekend plans? Oh you know it.



    I tide fashion Good-looking, not expensive Free transport

  17. Aw, shucks, I made the ball! And it was all due to Hugh Jackman and his bladder. I should send them a thank you card (and a box of depends).

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