Though I’ve just said it in the title of this post, I think it goes without saying that when you make animal noises at animals, and they make their animal noise back at you, you are not talking to them. They don’t think you’re talking to them. I’m not an animal scientist but I’m still sure that when they make a noise back at you it’s not as if they’re thinking, “I just heard the noise I make, I’m going to make the noise back in an attempt to communicate.” It’s only that that is the noise they were going to make anyway, because that is the only noise they make, because they are an animal and generally animals only make noises specific to their species. I think we all know how animals work, right? Animals make their animal noises, like, pretty much all the time. And for me, right now, this is really one of those things where after watching this video I’m thinking to myself, Has this always been something that’s annoyed me? Watching people make animals noises at animals? I seem to have a very strong opinion about it. Or is it just that this specific case has triggered such a deep annoyance that it only feels like something that’s always been there? And it’s a little scary to not be able to tell whether or not something — for instance, people making animal noises at animals — has always been something that has annoyed you. Because if you don’t know that about yourself, what do you know? How easily is your opinion swayed? Who are you? What is going on?

Uggggggggghhhhh. Haha, no, I think it is just this guy. Mental crisis averted. Because I just remembered that I always make dog noises at dogs whenever I see them on the street, which is 100% of every time I go anywhere on the street, and that it is the most fun thing to do. “Arrrreeeararararar!” Dog owners love when you make that sound at their dogs while pretending that the human attached to them doesn’t exist, I’m almost positive. I’m pretty sure that’s one of Gabe’s favorite things and you can quote me on that. If you ever see Gabe walking Birdie on the street, go up to Birdie and make her stop walking and go “arrrreeearararararuffruffruff” and then maybe make an ambulance noise? I’m spitballing, but I think if you followed that up with “weeeeeearweeeeearweeeear” like an ambulance, while disrupting the walk for a few minutes at least, like four solid minutes, and you don’t even look up at Gabe the whole time and then just walk away? I think that everyone would really enjoy that equally. So, do that I guess? I barely remember what we were talking about before this. (Via SayOMG.)

Comments (30)
  1. Ass Whisperer.

  2. Why is Gabe writing about himself in the third person like this?

  3. This guy wishes he was a jackass; turns out he’s only a douchebag.

  4. No cute girl do not encourage his behavior, he is the worst, you don’t seem that bad, rrrrrrrrrrruuuuuuunnnnnn

  5. COUNTERPOINT:

  6. Guys, I speak donkey. And let me just say, while I think the guy making the donkey sounds is a bit of jerk, the donkey took it too far when he kept repeating, “I’m fucking your girlfriend.”

  7. Why did that feel so much like a lost scene from Garden State?

  8. Nope. Refuse to believe it. Some of us *like* pretend-talking to our cats, OK? I’m not saying I’m one of those people, but I’m not not saying I’m one of those people either.

  9. I have something to say about animal noises.

    Do you guys spend a lot of time thinking about Onomatopoeia. Probably not, because you guys lead normal adult lives, but regardless, i do and i find it extremley peculiar how animal noises differ culturally. In english, a dog barking is ‘woof woof’ where as in Arabic its actually ‘ham ham’ and in thai is ‘hong hong’.

    And a horse whinnying in english would be “neigh’ whereas in vietnamese its ‘hi hi hi’.

    ISNT THAT FUCKED UP? does that not spin your head around several times.

  10. Listen, admit it, people: we ALL KNOW that the Baja Men were asking both humans and dogs who let the dogs out in the chorus of that song.

  11. Listen, it is not my fault my neighbors are annoying and their dog is awesome. …I also just realized that I know their dogs name but not their name? oh well. Who’s a good girl? Who’s a good girl? Katie is!
    Who is socially inept and relates better to animals than people? That’s right! It’s me!

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  13. when you make animal noises at people you are confusing them

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