In sleep, nothing can hurt you. Even if you dream that you fall off of the world’s tallest building (one second, I have something in my eye, I’m definitely not looking it up) the Burj Khalifa in Dubai, you will be OK! I had a nightmare one time when I was a little kid that I was in a concentration camp sort of and they cut off the top of my head, like, right in the middle of my forehead, with a piece of razor wire, and look at me now! Clean bill of health and I bet my brain is very normal and normally adjusted too! The point is, when we are asleep, we are safe. (This is actually not even remotely true. Someone could kill us in our sleep! That is why we must always be alert and have weapons within easy reach of the bed. But this is a discussion for another time, during our Weekly Safety Seminar. For the purpose of this post, sleep is safe and wonderful and not an invitation to murderers to try and surprise us but we cannot be surprised so now YOU are the ones who are surprised, you stupid murderers!) What I’m trying to say is that you might want to just go right back to bed right now and not even watch this video of a “singing” robot mouth (nice song, idiot) but if you do go ahead and watch this video then you are DEFINITELY going to want to go back to bed. Either way, goodnight!

Funny enough, this horrifying robot mouth still sounds better than Ke$ha. DING DONG! ZINGNET IS NOW ONLINE AND BECOMES SELF-AWARE IN 2000LOL! (Via PopSci.)

Comments (33)
  1. At least it’ll be easy enough to make a porn parody out of this abomination.


  3. The Charlie Brown Teachers Band is really going places

  4. “Gentlemen! We are only one dirty Halloween wig away from perfecting our Ke$ha robot!” — Scientists

  5. That is the most erotic thing I’ve ever seen.

  6. I don’t mean to alarm anyone, but I am pretty sure we just woke Cthulhu from his dead slumber. On the plus side, that probably means the world will be ending soon, and with it dies the creepy robot voice of doom up there.

  7. I wonder how many eggs we can get it to eat.

  8. Great. Now there’s one more mouth in the world that won’t shut up for long enough to blow me.

  9. God creates Dinosaurs. God destroys Dinosaurs. God creates Man. Man destroys God. Man creates Nightmarish Robot Mouth. Nightmarish Robot Mouth eats Man. Woman inherits the earth.

  10. My favorite part is the fake nose. Totally not more terrifying at all, Japanse! (The Japanse made this, right? Good.)

  11. What’s so neat about this video is that it would be nearly impossible to fake this technological accomplishment. It absolutely couldn’t be done with just a microphone, a fleshlight, a Deer Park bottle, an empty computer case and a dude saying EHHH, OHHH, AHHH in the background.

  12. When my future robot overlord orders me to do something, I’m going to say “Can it robot, I remember when you were just a singing mouth. You looked so dumb.”

  13. Man, even from a robot, that old Dean Martin standard “Kagome Kagome” still gets me every time.

  14. i thought this was Stephen Hawking reading “Go the Fuck to Sleep”

  15. I figured they’d make a robot Fleshlight at some point.

  16. This robot mouth is on a collision course with a huge lawsuit filed by a very lonely man.

  17. You kind of have to wonder (do you? you do) how many things this robot mouth can do better than Ke$ha.

  18. This reminds me so much of James Quall and I have no idea why.

  19. Finally, a way to talk to one another for OUR generation. Once we strap these puppies on, we’ll be talkin’ the “flute speak”, and ol’ Gram and Gramps won’t know what (not so) vaguely phallic thing hit ‘em.


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