Trapped in this sweltering heat (New York readers, especially) we all probably feel like we’ve got Chef Boyardee cans stuck on our heads! Look at us, running all over the place, desperately bumping into things, the metallic whine of our can-heads dragging on the pavement, our necks too tired now to lift them. (If you don’t live in New York, you can ignore the stuff about the sweltering heat and simply take this as an existential metaphor insofar as we are often running through LIFE as if we have a Chef Boyardee can stuck on our heads, aren’t we just, and if we are not careful, we’ll still be blindly, clankingly running like this until the day that we keel over and die.) This video of a raccoon with a Chef Boyardee can stuck on his head was taken by none other than Videogum reader Jared, who has a passion for herstory. It’s a VIDEOGUM EXCLUSIVE! But can I say something before you even watch this? The video starts off cute enough, but a little bit into the video, when Jared gets out of his car to get a closer look, you might worry, as I did, that he was just going to get the SCOOP and not actually intervene with the story (help the raccoon and take the goddamned can off of its head) but he totally SPOILER ALERT does. It is a real heartwarming treat! Story of the year.

WE ARE FREE! LET’S ALL RUN BACK INTO THE WOODS! (Thanks for the tip, Jared.)

Comments (37)
  1. Good lord, why did you free it? Those things are monsters! That’s like when Naomi Watts let the little girl out of the well on The Ring, only this is for real!

    • As somebody who had to listen to the raccoons in the attic scratching at her ceiling every night as a child, I agree.

    • Dissagree. Raccoons happen to be one of my favorite animals. They are clearly the white trash of the animal world. I have always sided with the scurge of society. They are more interesting. Raccoons, pigeons, rats, possums…. They are just trying to hustle through life.

      • I’m with you, jwormyk. Love me some pigeons, crows, and others that people are biased against. It’s not THEIR fault they’re smart enough to go for the easy meal.

  2. Soooo…. I’m sure I’m not the only one thinking this, but was there anything left in the can?

  3. Sometimes, in life, it’s better to leave the can on your head.

  4. Usually when a raccoon is inside a can of Beefaroni, it’s also inside the Beefaroni.

  5. Raccoons probably aren’t capable of understanding random acts of kindness, but if they could I’m sure this one would’ve shook Jared’s hand with its weird little raccoon hand.

  6. Chef Boyardee? I expect better of you, Raccoon.

  7. I would also like to point out that if the title of this post was Opossum With A Chef Boyardee Can Stuck On Its Head I would not have hit play. I’m sorry, but opossums are gross.

    • Gross? More like TERRIFYING. I was throwing the garbage out one night when I turn the corner to find that possums glowing little eyes, staring at me. Watching me. Almost as if to say, “You’re not going to eat that?!”

  8. THREE CHEERS FOR JARED!

    Seriously, Jared, it is very cool that you filmed the animal and also helped the animal. You’re my hero today! Good job great job nice job.

    • While I do not condone niceties towards raccoons, I am also on Team Jared today, mainly because he and I share a cursed name, albeit spelled differently. Jared, any time someone thinks that they are the first person to make a Subway and/or He Went To Jared joke, and that it is hilarious, I feel your pain.

    • That raccoon seemed drawn to him, as if he could sense that Jared was an expert in rodents with food containers stuck on their heads and would know exactly what to do.

      • Totally being Professor Classifications over here, but the raccoon is not a rodent. It’s in its own weird little mammal family along with the kinkajou, which is just a fun word to say.

        • I had a feeling I was going to get called on that. I didn’t want to look up the proper classification on wiki because I knew the raccoon wiki was going to be a rabbithole I didn’t want to go down if I wanted to get any work done. I would have started with raccoons and ended up reading about 18th century Swiss architecture or something.

    • I concur. YAY JARED!

  9. Looks like Bing actually nailed it.

  10. the embarrassed way he slunk off at the end definitely hit a chord with me.

    • You mean the whole “Okay, so I don’t know where I am or where I need to go, but I’m already embarrassed enough by this whole situation, so I really, really need to leave, but I also need to make it look like I both know where I am and have someplace to be” situation? Because that’s like 60% of my life.

  11. Elsewhere in the world Bobby Brown has his head stuck in a can of Chef Boyardee’s Tenderoni.

  12. That little whimper was so sad. YOU GUYS…!

  13. If you look closely when Jared takes the can off, it looks like it already did some damage to the side of the raccoon’s head, poor little guy. I hope it heals alright so he can live to root around in trash another day.

  14. SO EMBARRASSED

  15. Hey, Jared, are those sunflower seeds in your car? I love sunflower seeds.

    • Unfortunately (and somewhat shamefully) it is an empty bag of beef jerky. I’d imagine it may meet your savory requirement but not your let us all be birds now requirement. Either way, car snacks! right?

  16. http://www.benzlogo.com/

    I tide fashion Good-looking, not expensive Free transport

  17. Marry me, Jared. There is nothing sexier than a man that helps the helpless.

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