Photos
I was listening to an interview with J.J. Abrams on Fresh Air a couple of weeks ago and Terry Gross was asking him where he gets his ideas, basically, and where he got the idea for Super 8 in particular, and he said that originally it was supposed to just be like a modern-day Stand By Me, and just be about the children and how they love to make movies together, but then at a certain point he decided that it needed something else, and he had this other idea about Area 51, so he combined them, and it’s just like, uh, dude, you should have stuck to your original plan! That was such a good plan! The best part of that whole movie was the kids and their interactions with each other and their kid lives. The rest of it felt phony and unnecessary and was the reason the ending was unsatisfying. Oh well. The point is, Hollywood, have more faith in yourself! You can do it! Of course, Super 8 is a movie that has already come out. Let’s look at these trailers for movies that haven’t come out yet (goooood segue!):
The Myth of the American Sleepover
I know that all movies are basically the same at this point and everything is a gentle rehashing of something that has come before, but some movies definitely look MORE the same and like a GENTLER rehashing of things that came before. “Remember the first time you fell in love?” Yes. Next question.
The Undefeated
Oh brother. Does this need a comment? How about NO COMMENT.
The Iron Lady
Finally, OUR generation’s The Queen! Man, Meryl Streep, you guys! So good at acting. It is weird that no one ever talk about how good she is at acting or respects her for it or gives her any awards in recognition of it. It’s just this hidden little secret that only you and I know about. That’s fine, let’s keep it that way. Shhhhhh.
Assassination Games
Hahhaha. “I am a weapon. A 95-year-old weapon.” Jean Claude Van Damme should go on Antiques Roadshow and have himself appraised. Also, why do the two assassins team up? Just kidding, NO SPOILERS! Can’t wait to find out why they team up. I bet it’s a good reason that makes sense. I also can’t wait to see if the audio quality is the same throughout the movie as it is in this video. Something tells me it’s PRETTY CLOSE.
5 Days of War
Hmmm. I think a movie about war photography is a perfectly reasonable movie. But do they really have to play all of that cruddy action movie music like this is a real action movie? I thought war was hell, so why does it sound so EXCITING? Also: one more reference to “saving our files” or “uploading our files to the datalink” or “they’re targeting our files!” or “you have 30 seconds to give me your files or I throw you into the laser-shark tank, Mr. Bond” and I am out of here. Goodbye!
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I hate it when movie trailers ask me questions. “When did you fall in love?” Who cares — this film is not about me. Not everything is about me! -No American Ever
And then Sarah Palin freed the slaves and invented Jiffy Pop
Somewhere in an industrial warehouse in La Mirada preproduction is underway for the Iron Lady porn parody.
Well Margaret Thatcher was the second sexiest Prime Minister of England, number one being Benjamin Disraeli of course
So far all I made of these trailers is that the only three plots in Hollywood right now are “teens in love”, “conservative women” and “fighting”.
Can we put those three things together and make a movie about conservative women fighting teens in love?
Isn’t that kind of what Hanna was?
PITT THE ELDER
“Well hellooo ladies…and chaps…” The certainly lascivious looking Robert Walpole, first British Prime Minister.
James Spader?
LORD PALMERSTON!!!
MUTTON CHOP STYLIN’
But Harold Wilson presided over the sexiest political scandals.
“Do you want to swim over there?” “What happens over there?” Sure, it’s a mystery, teenagers with facial piercings and smoking habits talk like that in real life all the time.
If she has to ask, she doesn’t know the rules. Never go with a hippie to a second location.
i feel like watching the iron lady would be like hatefucking to a completely psychotic degree for me.
I feel the same way. I need to see it even though I will be seething watching them portray her in any positive lights.
Britain had it coming.
To me, the real ending to Super 8 was when the credits rolled and aired the kids Zombie flick. I was in tears I was laughing so hard.
This is the first time I think Val Kilmer’s complete lack of respect for himself actually works in the context of the movie he’s in!
For a second I thought the Iron Lady was a sequel to the Iron Giant, and imagined the Iron Giant’s mom coming to Earth to pick him up and apologizing for being late because she got tied up at the plumbing supply store.
Much prefer this. The actual version seems like something designed to flatter a fairly terrible and loathed war mongering politician. How else will it be? Meryl Streep just can’t do awful, only conflicted and multifaceted. She’s limited in that way.
Wow, I almost – ALMOST – could have gone along with “The Undefeated” as a harmless piece of self-funded love letter to ones self UNTIL Andrew Brietbart showed up. Then it just turned into pandering and partisan bullshit. Somehow I’m ANGRIER than I was at the film before I saw the trailer.
I am just confused, because my mind refuses to let go of the impression that The Undefeated is a gritty depression era movie starring Christian Bale as a taciturn farmer turned boxer. I think that would be better, even if it is just a terrible mashup of The Fighter and Cinderella Man.
It is very brave of Sarah Palin to pay for a documentary about how brave she is. Also, when she was taking on the big oil companies, it was because they had laid claim to large tracts of land that they weren’t drilling oil out of, and Sarah was like “Fuck that, we’re gonna drill that land one way or another”. Very brave, very smart.
Halfway through watching The Undefeated trailer ny computer screen blacked out and sent me back to the homepage. I’ll take that as a sign and spare my eyes.
5 Days of War, starring Dean Cain and Andy Garcia who both look at the camera for exactly 1 second and then disappear.
The 5 Day War: The Files Are IN the Computer.
Wow. July 15 for “Undefeated,” huh? Witches be comin out in full force at a theater near you on that day, amirite?????
#harrypotternerdhumor
#nailedit
well, all the homeschooled children have to have their super awesome film premiere the same night just to prove that they are just as normal as the rest of us.
“To hell with the establishment. The establishment has put is in this position in the first place. Hold on I just got a text– HOLY SHIT THAT’S SOMEONE’S WEINER” -Andrew Breitbart
These movies can suck it….
Because I FINALLY get to see The Tree of Life tonight!!!!!
YEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAHHHHHHH!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!
Godspeed. I enjoyed it so much and am probably seeing it again soon. I also enjoyed the woman in front of me continually throwing up her hands in frustration.
5 Days of War is our generation’s Blood Diamond.
“Where is the (inanimate object that is crucial to a character’s survival)?!” – foreign guy with a funny accent
haha i wish i had video editing skills so at the end of the palin thing i could cut to black and have her paul revere quote said and then splash the title….anyone talented enough to do this for my amusement?
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