While the world waits with baited breath to hear about the latest developments in the Asteroids adaptation, today we learn that the same producer is optioning the rights of another classic arcade game, Space Invaders, which is sure to be another terrific movie! From the Hollywood Reporter:

Get ready for the Space Invaders movie.

The classic 1980s arcade game from Taito and Midway, which is ranked as the top arcade game of all time by Guinness World Records, is heading to the big screen courtesy of producers Lorenzo di Bonaventura and Odd Lot Entertainment’s Gigi Pritzker. The two have teamed up to option the rights and develop the project and are now on the hunt for a writer to come up with a story.

Wonderful! Wonderful news! [Richard Gere in Amelia voice.] This just sounds like a really great idea. A movie based on a prehistoric videogame with absolutely zero narrative intrigue or development and the antithesis of emotional honesty? When I hear that I only hear two words: “great idea.” The only thing that confuses me, because everything else about this idea makes perfect sense and I am 100 percent on board with it all, is why they are still looking for a writer? Uh, hello? Lorenzo di BonaMcFly?! After the jump, from the guy who wrote two pages of Asteroids: The Videogame: The Movie, is an EXCLUSIVE SNEAK PEEK at two pages of Space Invaders: The Videogame: The Movie:

INT. SPACESHIP – NIGHT

Captain Coke X-Ray, a battle-weary space captain who has fought wearying battles all through space, slumps in his captain’s chair in the Main Control Room, thinking of his wife and infant son back home on planet Neptune. Beep Bloop, the ship’s Artificial Intelligence comes on-line.

BEEP BLOOP
Captain?

CAPTAIN COKE X-RAY
What is it Bleep Bloop?

BEEP BLOOP
I’m sensing alien activity in outerspace, sir.

CAPTAIN COKE X-RAY
Oh geez, more aliens? You gotta be kiddin’ me!

The Captain stands from his chair and begins to pace frantically in the Main Control Room as his crew silently, nervously awaits his orders.

BEAUTIFUL SPACESHIP NAVIGATOR MEGHAN
Sir…

CAPTAIN COKE X-RAY
NOT NOW, MEGHAN!

THE REST OF THE CREW
God, Meghan.
Meghan’s the worst!
Who invited Meghan into space?

Captain Coke X-Ray holds up his hand for silence and everyone stops talking. His eyes are riveted to the full-wall projection screen. Outside, in space, the alien ships are lining up in neat, horizontal lines. Captain Coke X-ray turns to his crew, his eyes blazing with captain-fire.

CAPTAIN COKE X-RAY
Men, and Meghan, I have no idea what kind of enemy we are up against. For all I know, we’re heading to our certain deaths. But I will tell you one thing, I will be damned if I am going to let space be invaded by these Space…INVADERS!

The crew erupts into applause.

CAPTAIN COKE X-RAY
Man your battle stations! Meghan your battle stations!

Everyone mobilizes into action. The aliens are immediately defeated because of their odd strategy of getting in those lines and then just moving back and forth in a straight line. The crew breaks open the space champagne. Beautiful Spaceship Navigator Meghan kisses Captain Coke X-Ray on the lips.

CAPTAIN COKE X-RAY
What was that for?!

BEAUTIFUL SPACESHIP NAVIGATOR MEGHAN
We’ve been dating for three years.

Captain Coke X-Ray pulls on his collar like, “is it  hot in here?”

CUT TO:

INT. SPACE INVADERS SECRET INVASION HEADQUARTERS OUT IN DEEP SPACE – DAY

The defeated leader of the space invaders beats his alien fist on the hologram spacetabletop.

LEADER OF THE SPACE INVADERS
Dang it! Man, nothing ever works out for me.

Everything explodes in a giant explosion. So cool. A cover of Devo’s “Whip It” by Demi Lovato plays over the credits.

When I win my Academy Award, I’m going to keep it in the bathroom as a conversation piece. (Until then, I will just keep talking about doing that as a conversation piece.)

Comments (25)
  1. Stop invading my space Meaghan

  2. woozefa  |   Posted on Jul 8th, 2011 +4

    hold on, is it ‘beep bloop’ or ‘bleep bloop’? THIS SCRIPT IS SO UNCLEAR!

  3. The bought the rights to a non-idea. There is absolutely nothing in the game that would contribute to making a good (or even bad) movie. And you know what’s really funny about it? They could have taken an existing sci-fi screenplay, shot the movie, and called is Space Invaders because you can’t copyright a title.

  4. Space. Will. Invade.

  5. The Snake: The Videogame: The Movie was pretty good

  6. Isnt this the plot to transformers 3?

  7. Didn’t they already make this movie under the title The Last Starfighter?

  8. I thought I already saw this.


    “Increase speed, drop down, and reverse direction!”

  9. Why would you make a Space Invaders movie when this is still up for grabs:

  10. I just hope the characters won’t end up being two-dimensional.

  11. I just can’t wait until Space Invaders: The Videogame: The Movie: The Videogame comes out.

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