At the top of this video, Bruce Kaufman (President of the US Lawn Mower Association) states, “A lot of people don’t know what to think when they think ‘lawn mower racing.’” And you think to yourself: Yeah, he’s right, I have no idea what that could possibly be. I mean, I have IDEAS. You race against a lawn mower? You assign races TO lawn mowers? You set them up and have them race against each other? And then Kevin Penne, a mechanic, comes in to explain, “Well, we got racing. And lawn mowers. And we just combined the two.” And you think: Ohhhh. So, wait, still not sure. You attached lawn mowers to race cars? Or legs. You attach lawn mowers to legs? And then you think, listen, just show me the rest of this mini explanatory doc on lawn mower racing because I’m just kind of floundering here.

Ohhhh, ok. You race suped-up lawn mowers. Now I feel kind of foolish. Here’s a bit of background (you wanted that I think, right?) on the United States Lawn Mower Racing Association (USLMRA), from their website:

Established in 1992, the U.S. Lawn Mower Racing Association is the nations’ oldest and largest national lawn mower racing sanctioning body, presenting organized events across America including the 21-race STA-BIL Series, and a network of over 60 Local Chapters & Affiliated Clubs hosting hundreds of sanctioned races in over 40 states nationwide.

I won’t lawn mower race until ALL states have sanctioned lawn mower racing. And also look at this:

Just remember our motto: We turn a weekend chore into a competitive sport!

Hahah, that is a great motto! A very informative motto, just as all mottos should be. Like the Boy Scouts motto, “We train boys in outdoor things and give them badges that they’ll still wear to high school on the appropriate day and people will be nice about it but really, come on.” And the Burger King motto, “Just a normal fast food burger place with all the things you’ve come to expect from those places.”

One more thing I wanted to mention about this video quickly while I definitely still have your attention after the mottos thing we just discussed, definitely didn’t lose you there, is how great all the lawn mower racers nicknames are. If I were a lawn mower racer my nickname would be Mow Szyslak. It took me one second to come up with that name and it is the perfect name! Feel free to give YOURSELF a lawn mower name, and feel free also to come up with a twitter persona for that lawn mower name. Just spitballing.

Also: “I think it’s — lawn mower race, like a go kart race, like a race…racing car.” (Via Laughing Squid.)

Comments (41)
  1. I call dibs on Mowsama Bin Laden.

  2. Also, while we’re on the subject of mottos, I feel I should point out that there is an nternational Morse Code preservation society called FISTS, and that their motto is as wonderful as it is poorly-conceived:

  3. The story of race in America more complex than I ever imagined.

  4. This is the Real America.

  5. America: If it wastes gas, then somebody’s driving it.

  6. I know we’re kind of back-handedly mocking these dudes, but I fucking love this. They just seem to be having a ball.

    That being said: Mows Def.

  7. It would be a lot more American if they left the blades on

  8. Lawnmower Man.

  9. Mowstopheles

  10. Mowbi Trice: real name, no gimmicks.

  11. Lawn Draper

  12. Mow Money, Mow Problems

  13. John Deerehunter.

  14. I get that people laugh at first, but once you watch the whole video, you start to see these dudes are pretty impressive. No ho mow.

  15. Any word on how the Williamsburg Lawn Mower Racing leaugue is coming along?

  16. all fun and games until….

  17. I can’t decide between Jay Lenmow or Jay Lawno

  18. Joey Mow-rence.

  19. Did someone already say Mow-more Quadaffi?

  20. Turfy Brown

  21. Gabe’s Dad @2:40

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