When they say that life is full of surprises, they’re mostly talking about very unpleasant surprises! No one is ever like, “life is full of surprises, you never know when you’re going to get a bonus personal day off from work next!” That does not happen. And no one is ever like, “life is full of surprises, you never know what kind of cake you’re going to have this afternoon for Cake Break.” Everyone knows full well what kind of cake they’re going to have this afternoon for Cake Break. No, it’s mostly about how life throws you unexpected curveballs, like breakups and cancer and house fires. Fair enough. Those are very surprising things, and one of the goals while we are still on this Earth is to get to a place mentally and emotionally where we can deal with those surprises with patience, serenity, and maturity. That being said, just once, just ONCE, it would be nice if when someone said “life is full of surprises” what they actually meant was “for example Beyonce showing up at your dance party in the back of a Target.” Is that too much to ask, MRS. GOD?!

This is the best. Beyonce is the best. But I’m not sure what is going on with those adults having their own ADULTS ONLY dance party in the back? And why is the store so crowded if no one knows that Beyonce is going to show up? People are just packing in to see seven kids do a very loosely choreographed dance routine on a makeshift stage? Oh man, I bet it is my tendency to asking all of these nagging, unimportant questions instead of just getting up there and doing the dance we all agreed upon that keeps me from ever getting surprised by Beyonce anywhere. (Via ONTD.)

Comments (32)
  1. Beyonce is the best! These kids are the best! Target, while certainly problematic in some areas, is not bad in my personal, authoritative opinion. It’s friday, and we all got paid (in our hearts, by Beyonce.)

    • For the record, I meant unauthoritative. I am not the authority on ethical business practices. Or, I hope not, because frankly, if I am, we are all in a world of trouble.

  2. I’m going to hang out at my Target all day today just in case something exciting happens!

  3. I never get this reaction when I try to dance with children at my local discount retailer.

  4. When did Blake shave his mustache? Was ‘Ders ok with that?

  5. I worked at Target for a year and a half and the most exciting thing that ever happened was when that one family changed their baby’s diaper on one of the dining room tables again. Life’s not fair.

    • Really? My grandmother got mugged outside of a Target! That was pretty interesting! She was not amused when I suggested that they were drawn to her because of the logo on her bag.

  6. If you like the dance party, then you should put a set of consecutive red and white rings on it.

  7. Has anybody else noticed that Beyonce is a big fan of the phrase, “Put it on me”? An activity, which, while sounding like it would be fun for the person doing the putting it on her, doesn’t sound like much fun for her. But, that being said, she is still the best.

  8. This is unacceptable.

    I like to start my morning off with an omelet, a coffee and a side of KELLY.

    • Kelly stole my heart,
      Now my day must start with her;
      She’s basically drugs.


      • This is OT, but I get so excited about haikus. I started a Haiku About Orlando Jones page on Facebook that caused Orlando Jones to defriend me, which is pretty flattering. I was kind of just hoping that he would actually ask me to quit (or have his lawyer do it) because I had this haiku waiting:

        Cease? If you insist
        But know that my love for you
        Will never desist

        • I never knew Orlando Jones to be petty enough to defriend someone on Facebook. But then again, I never knew Orlando Jones, at all.

          However, I do now know a great haiku with a backstory.

          • Yeah, it was simultaneously disappointing and flattering. “Out of the thousands of friends he has, I made such a strong (negative) impression that he took the time to defriend me!”

            I really can’t say I fully blame him though, because some of the haikus were pretty questionable (I’m pretty sure the phrase “make seven up mine” was used in more than one) and he didn’t know I wasn’t totally serious.

  9. “Can’t a guy just run into a Target to buy a case of Diet Coke and some slacks and not get caught up in mob cheering a surprise appearance by Beyonce?” — That one guy

    • I live by the Brooklyn target, and this is pretty much what it looks like at all hours. Huge crowds, everyone dancing to Beyonce, and video cameras taping all the Target-related excitement. They expanded their frozen foods section, so things are even better than I ever thought possible.

  10. Anyone have video of Gwyneth surprising the boarding school in Greenwich, CT?

  11. Completely unrelated, but thanks for including screenshots with video posts. It makes sharing on Facebook a lot better when there’s a thumbnail to go along with it.

  12. I just love how everyone wants to hug Beyonce when they see her. If I ever meet Beyonce I would probably hug her instantly, too. She seems like an awesome person!

  13. Love Beyonce, but sorry my favorite person in this video is the white Ginger that shows up around the :50 mark and goes at it hard.

  14. I also like that there’s like 20 pro-grade HD cameras there and we get some shakey-ass Flip-cam footage.

  15. BEYONCE!!! 4 IS SO GOOD!!!

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