Look, it’s no use at this point playing the BLAME GAME and pointing fingers at people, because I don’t know if you actually knew this, I just learned this myself and it blew me away, but did you know that when you point your finger at someone you are actually pointing four fingers back at yourself? Think about THAT for awhile! Because it’s just so very true, I’m sure, one of the truest things and the best part about it is that I definitely understand what it means for sure don’t even bother asking because I almost understand it too much. Suffice it to say, some of us, and the details on this are definitely not important, may or may not have taken an airplane in the middle of the night that made sleeping impossible and so this morning some of our heads feel like a bowl of painful oatmeal sprinkled with garbage and raisins. Every time those of us who took this plane, and there’s no knowing how many of us it was but it was probably most of us, try and hold onto a thought, it just slides right down our faces and into the toilet. Those of us who didn’t take this evil airplane in the middle of the night, which is called a red eye, and is actually named after the horror movie starring Cilian Murphy, and not the other way around, true story, those of us who didn’t take this evil airplane, if there even are any of us who didn’t, I’m kind of assuming* we all did, should please be patient with the rest of us. If nothing else, PENGUINS! (Via Arbroath.)

*If you liked my folksy wisdom about pointing you are going to love what I just learned a few minutes ago about “assuming” things.
Comments (30)
  1. There are definitely ways to point without your other fingers pointing back at you, but I’ll assume you already knew that.

  2. I totally get this video. That iceberg is the comments section, and those penguins are the comments you thought would be a hit but didn’t get any upvotes.

  3. “When you assume things you make and ASS of U and Umption!” — Samuel L. Jackson

  4. Are we talking about pointing?! Finally!

  5. I thought the Cillian Murphy movie was about putting espresso in your coffee.

  6. When I point, I have three fingers that ‘point’ to my palm if you call being curled up pointing, and then my thumb just kinda points off in a generally downward direction

  7. Red eye flights are the devil (hence the whole red eye thing). I learned the hard way when I took one to London this year thinking I would be able to sleep through the whole thing. Hah! There were 8 million children running around, babies screaming – the only way I found sleep (for about 30 minutes) was listening to the sweet sounds of Matt Damon’s voice loudly narrating Inside Job.

    Go to bed Gabe. You have Kelly now!

    • i did a red eye on ryanair last year London to Dublin. Ryanair doesn’t want you to sleep, they just want to force lottery tickets down your throat and spray perfume in your eyes. After that I was done with Ryanair and their obnoxious announcements.

      • Not to get all seriousgum here for a second, but isn’t that a really short flight? I thought the whole idea of a redeye was that it’s a multi-hour flight that usually travels west to east such that you leave at like 11:00 pm and land at 7:00 am, or roughly thereabouts. Note that they can also just be really long north-south (or vice versa) flights, like Anchorage to LA. How can such a short flight be “overnight”?

        • i just thought redeyes were really early in the morning? maybe i got the definition wrong. ah well.

          but it was actually a really long trip because my friends and i are super cheap and flew out of stanstead which is like a 90 minutes from the city. plus we took the cheapest bus at 2am for a 7am flight and slept in the airport. Basically an hours flight turned into this horrible ordeal where i didn’t sleep that night. So I experienced a redeye even though it wasn’t a redeye?

  8. This reminds me, have you guys heard of my new band, Painful Oatmeal? Our new cd Raisins And Garbage is coming out next week, be sure to stop by your local Circuit City to pick up a copy!

    • There weren’t enough copies of Painful Oatmeal to save them.

      • After I got out of the Navy, I couldn’t find a job, so I tried to get something temporary at Circuit City, until I found a better job. But they didn’t hire me, because I “didn’t have enough sales experience.” They’ll hire high school kids, but not someone who just spent 4 years as an IT in the military? Good call. It was like a year later they went out of business. Serves ‘em right.

    • RIP Circuit City

  9. I can’t lie. Penguins being jerks will never not be funny to me.

  10. I think, in terms of the metaphor, the penguin is me, and the iceberg is the button that says “remember me” when I login. Try as I might, the damn thing never seems to remember me, and I’m back jumping at it again the very next day.

  11. When I tell my students that penguins are my favorite animal, they’re so confused, and they give me this look like I’ve never heard of tigers or falcons or something. But because of the adorable antics of the penguins in this clip, I have 1 minute and 27 seconds that prove penguins are a valid candidate for favorite animal.

  12. But Gabe, did anyone pee in your luggage?

  13. I love this, but my brain won’t shut up about how this is only happening because the iceberg is half melted. SHUT UP BRAIN. :(

  14. I get it and I love it and it’s a huge reason behind why I read this blog every day, but I defy anyone to diagram one of Gabe’s sentences at this point.

    I tried, failed:

    Take a nap, Gabe. You’re very tired.

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