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Good morning. It’s the morning, so here is a video about eggs. “Kelly, just because it’s the morning doesn’t mean we’re going to care about a video about eggs.” Oh, really? Well you don’t even know what the video is about yet. Maybe you are going to care about it. Maybe it’s going to be about how eggs develop, which would be very gross but probably interesting to watch. Or about a statue made of egg shells. You have no idea. I’ll tell you what it’s about right now, though. You may have guessed already from the image associated with this post but hold on a second, gosh, just cool it down for one second it’s just so early in the morning, I don’t know where you’re getting the energy for this. What did you have for breakfast this morning? An egg with a double yolk? A whole carton of eggs with double yolks? Well, first of all, I think you’re lying. I doubt you ate a whole carton of eggs this morning and even if you did I highly doubt they were all double yolks. But maybe SOMEONE had a whole carton of eggs with double yolks this morning, that they did or did not eat afterwards. I don’t know, I’m just saying that someone maybe had that. And by “this morning” I mean “a morning.” And by all of these words I mean “watch this video.”
Were you in suspense until the end? It’s a good payoff at the end. “Hah.”
The woman in the video, a cake decorator from Rochdale, spoke with the Manchester Evening News about this occurrence and this is an interesting thing in that article:
“I have probably used thousands of eggs and have never ever seen one double yolk before.”
According to the the British Egg Information Service the chance of getting a double yolk is one in 1,000.
That seems untrue to me. Not that I think it’s a lie by Big Egg, but I’ve certainly gotten a double yolk more than once in the past. It doesn’t seem like such a rarity. Is there an egg scientist in the house? Is there a math scientist in the house? I would say your chance of getting a double yolk is “kind of decent.” One in 500. That would be my guess.
Also, “buy organic.”
Also, “lorries.” (Via Arbroath.)
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Double yolk is the poor man’s double rainbow.
Double cholesterol all the way!
I have no jokes with yolk, sorry.
Apology not egg-cepted.
I thought of one, but it’s awful.
Come on, what’s the yolk?
Something about the crowded freak-yolk scene in Rochdale.
this conversation is whites only.
I thought about trying to call them yokels, but they’re really not, so it didn’t work
Zygotta remember to eat more eggs
#ProteinPackd
I feel a little empty now. I am not sure I have ever been as excited for anything as they are over eggs.
Excuse me, but I believe you meant to say egg-cited.
Well that obviously didn’t work. Let’s try again!
Kelly seems unimpressed by this, but I just can’t get ova it.
When I was pregnant, I cracked an egg with a double yolk and burst into tears, because twins or something. Also, it’s really hard to ever put ketchup on scrambled eggs again after a disgruntled vegetarian yells ‘it’s chicken period’ at you. Cool egg stories, bro.
It’s also hard to put ketchup on a scrambled egg because ketchup is pretty gross. It’s essentially smashed-up tomatoes and corn syrup. You can tell it’s a trashy food because it’s considered fancy if you add vinegar to it. Like everybody who eats ketchup is all “look at you, Mr. Fancypants, putting vinegar on your food!”
What did I have for breakfast? Fucking Banana Fucking flavored Fucking coffee!!!!
First of all WHAT? Who thought that was a good idea? Professor Banana Runts the coffee maker?
Second of all…I got a Dark Roast! If you you’re going to brew Banana Coffee (DON’T brew banana coffee) you don’t brew it in the dark roast machine! That’s Banana Coffee 101!
I’m only two hours in and this already the worst week of my life.
Banana runts are the worst of all possible runts.
You take that back right now!
That sounds horrible, I’m sorry for asking.
I appreciate you giving me a forum to complain about it!
I tried to have some Cheerios, but then saw there was no milk in the fridge and just ate a handful dry. Cool story!
I had a Lean Pocket and it was motherfucking delightful!!!
Generic brand Frosted Flakes and a cup of Eight O’clock Coffee. Just like every day…
Me watching this video: “please don’t drink the bowl, please don’t drink the bowl, please don’t drink the bowl…”
I was going to find a picture of Gaston and make a joke about eating five dozen eggs. However, I forgot about rule 34. Now I am just going to weep quietly under my desk.
I have no such shame or sense of decorum.
I had this happen to me! It was my first year of college, and my roommates were screaming and flipping out because we were certain that a) it was some sort of omen b) it had never happened before, and c.) would never happen again. Well it looks like we were WRONG. So very very wrong.
College students! I’ll bet you all had a pillow fight/orgy in the quad afterwards.
If by pillow fight orgy, you mean watch dawsons creek on the WB and eat the worlds largest omelet instead of going to class, you’d be right.
HOLY CRAP YOU JUST REMINDED ME! I for real had the world’s largest omelet(te) this weekend! It was so amazingly huge I took a picture, for posterity. I’m having the half that I couldn’t finish for lunch today, THAT IS HOW HUGE IT WAS. Observe:
sweet. mother. of. god.
I like when they shush the little girl. DON’T TALK DURING THIS MIRACLE!!!
http://bloq.in/675
I’m oeuf-fully sorry to burst this family’s bubble, but I think they just bought a mis-labelled batch or can’t read. Eggs that go to supermarkets are carefully inspected, and checked up against a light to see if they’re doubles. If you get a double in a carton of singles, it’s a mistake. They can be bought as cartons of doubles, which I believe they’ve got (chickens who lay doubles have been selectively bred, I believe. Maybe the 1/1000 number is ‘in the wild’).
Sorry to blog about how the breakfast sausage gets made, but is anyone else recieving “you comment is awaiting moderation?” This has never happened to me! Does the lawnmower man not like egg puns and information about selectively breeding chickens?
All chickens breed selectively. Unless you’re implying that all female chickens are sluts that just put out for anyone? Is that what you’re all about, gobblegirl? Chicken sexism?
Obviously I meant “repeatedly coerced into unwanted pregnancy by chicken pimps,” but I didn’t want to get so graphic so early in the morning.
Cake decorator rule number two: Don’t get high on your own supply.
I got an entire carton of double yolks once. I was trying to cook breakfast for my lovely family, and as I cracked each additional egg and they CONTINUED to have double fucking yolks, I had some kind of ethical crisis, and started lecturing my mom about how I can even imagine what kind of fucking hormones they were giving those birds, and none of us should be eating them, and I refused to continue cooking said eggs, and in fact stopped eating commercial eggs entirely and now insist that my eggs come from organic, free range, happy chickens and cost about $12 per carton.
Okay, if the odds are 1 in 500 that an egg has a double yolk, then the odds that 17 out of 17 eggs have double yolks (not sure how to do the calc for 17 out of 18, but it’s all the same) would be 1 divided by 500 to the 17th power, or 1 in 7,600,000,000,000,000,000,000,000,000,000,000,000,000,000,000.
I’m subscribing to this channel so I can have a front row seat when they upload the video about how these MUTANT EGGS made them grow ears out of their elbows. Science.
This also happened to me, and I seem to recall it was pretty much every egg in the carton. I don’t think we ate them either. Weird man.
No Signal No Signal No Signal
last time I ever had anything interesting come out of an egg it was foretelling the death of the Sheriff of Nottingham.