An FBI investigation into the finances of ponzi-scheming hedge fund manager Brad Ruderman uncovered a VERY high-stakes illegal Hollywood gambling ring, the highest stakes of which (?) came from Tobey Maguire, who is said to have taken Ruderman for maybe “one million a month over a period of three years.” What!

Comments (16)
  1. If he’s lucky, the trial will drag on for years, and get worse and worse, until they just decide to start over with Andrew Garfield instead.

    • Judge: “Case DISMISSED.”

      • I don’t know about these cut-price mobile courthouses, man. I mean, it sort of works when the case is going to a judge, but where the hell do the jury get to sit? On the roof? Not with a big hole in it. It’s plain unsafe, is what it is.

  2. I do not know who he disappointed more, Uncle Ben or Kenny Rogers

  3. But can he tie his shoes like a poker genius?

  4. I mean, with a poker face like his…

  5. I just thought ‘Wow, so THAT is what is up with Tobey Maguire!’ because I still, after a year’s worth of features on this blog, do not understand that he and Topher Grace are not the same person.

  6. 1. Please don’t smoke in bed.
    2. Please don’t participate in high-stakes gambling rings.

    Maybe you should have kept reading, Tobey!

  7. Apparently they are also suing Gabe Kaplan of Welcome Back, Kotter fame. Really? Gabe Kaplan was a hot player at these underground poker games?

    His case will be dismissed when he shows up with a note from Epstein’s mother.

  8. What was the movie in which a young male hollywood star has a cameo as himself, playing in an illegal poker game?

    It’s not a teaser question, I really can’t remember. Maybe Michael Clayton?

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