Today is the first day of summer and you know what that means. That we’ve all waited way too long to get into bikini and male-bikini shape and now we’re going to be stuck in our full wetsuits all Senior Week. AGAIN. Why do we always do this to ourselves?? Ugh, we’re so gross. Let’s skip lunch today. Well, let’s just eat it really fast. I think eating things fast burns more calories than eating any food can actually give you. I don’t know, I heard that somewhere. OR, in case you’re not “aweeaaaa,” we can try this “breeeeaan new” (from Nov. 2010) martial arts, hip hop dance, body shaping, cutting watermelons with a sword, adult dance, cardio, metabolism building, 100% of your brain using, chi meditation routine, and become the Very Important Guys or Very Important Girls that Bobby Vigeant knows we can be.

“He has the body and mind of someone who is ready to explode” does NOT sound like a desirable thing. Everything else featured is 100% desirable. (Via Uniblog.)

Comments (38)
  1. If I saw that guy at the gym,* I would burn a lot of calories running away from him.

    *This would require me to actually enter a gym.

  2. I’m halfway there; I’ve already got the MIND of someone who’s ready to explode. My body mostly just looks like a plastic bag full of frozen shrimp, though.

  3. He is a V.I.G. alright, Very Insane Guy

  4. Thanks to my bookie and a crippling gambling addiction, I’ve been living the vig lifestyle for years.

  5. Guys Im worried about Kelsey Grammer

  6. Yeah, I’m pretty sure he’s only using 20% of his brain.

  7. The Rhode Island accent really is the most beautiful accent.

  8. “He lives a lifestyle every day as if he was 18 years old. He has the body and the mind of someone who is just ready to explode”

    Very Important GROSS

  9. I was expecting to see this at the end of the video

  10. I’m sorry, but some of them look more like p.i.g.s

    Sorry, hadda say it.

  11. Counting down to V.I.G. dance GIF in 5…. 4….. 3…..

  12. I just want VIGs to merge with PUAs to create a combustible, yet slimy lifestyle.

  13. Your move, Richard Heene.

  14. So, where’s raara? Because this is clearly offensive to italians.

  15. The back of that limo looks weird and is making me really nervous. So I feel like I’m right in assuming it’s somehow also on the VIG lifestyle.

  16. Okay, I want to discuss that 10% of your brain bullshit, because it infuriates me everytime I see or hear it. Humans use (almost) all of their brains, just not at the same time. We use around 10% percent at any given time, because our brain has areas dedicated to various functions (language skills, motor skills, memory, etc.). How come something so stupid and just plain untrue is still perpetuated? Do these people not have Google? Ugh.

    This is also why I will never see Limitless.

    • To be fair, the statement becomes plausible if we assume that people who say we only use a small percentage of our brains are specifically referring to people like themselves who would ever say that.

  17. I bet he gets so much V.A.G.

  18. Well, he’s certainly got balls.

  19. Why is there no GIF of the dancing yet? He did that right? That wasn’t a dream I just had within a dream about terrible infomercials?

  20. He really gave it to those watermelons. I’m sold.

  21. “I wanna add ten years to my life. I want to see his grandchildren grow up.”

    Is being there for V.I.G. guy’s grandchildren part of the deal?

  22. Yuck. I’d rather take an N.A.P.

  23. Jesus. With his shirt off he looks exactly like one of the zombies from Fallout 3.

  24. What was wrong with V.I.P.? Very Important Penis. Very Important Pussy. Works perfectly.

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