Uhhhhhhhhhhhhh. Cool video, boys! I’m particularly into the weird 9/11 undertones and the part where Chris Brown hits women. YIKES! What is this? Can the parents of one of these children explain to me what this is? Because I am very scared and very confused. The world is going to end but we’re STILL going to have to listen to this garbage? On the terrifying Escape Bus? (I do like that buildings are collapsing but the public transportation system continues to run efficiently.) Nothing says ROMANTIC TRUE LOVE like two dudes DANCING ON EXPLODED CARS IN A BARREN APOCALYPTIC NIGHTMARE WASTELAND because your girlfriend is DEAD because she got HIT BY A CAR and then MAD MAX DANCE. Oh brother. Two boys enter, yikes doesn’t leave. (Good one.) This whole thing reminds me of this one time I was listening to the radio in 2005 and the DJ said “up next, Green Day’s ‘Wake Me Up When September Ends,’ the Katrina Remix!” in a very bubbly DJ voice, and what happened next was a remix of Green Day’s “Wake Me Up When September Ends” but with, like, news clips of people crying over their missing loved ones and complaining about the lack of emergency preparedness?! EEEK! Guys! Guys! What?! Guys! STOP IT, GUYS! P.S. Chris Brown hits women.

Comments (32)
  1. P.S. Chris Brown hits women.

  2. I feel like I’ve seen those effects before somewhere

  3. Justin Bieber looked up at Chris Brown’s grizzled cheeks and yellowed, sunken eyes and Chris Brown thinks if this boy is not the word of God than God never spoke. Justin Bieber asks, “do we still carry the fire?”

    “Shut up,” Chris Brown says, pushing his grocery cart on down the burned highway. “Or I’ll punch you repeatedly in the face.”

    • A large tear welled up in Justin Bieber’s eye. In an instant, the tear was soaring through the air, propelled off the face of Chris Brown’s tightly-balled fist. Also soaring through the air was Justin Bieber’s face, which was in turn attached to the rest of Justin Bieber’s body. There was fury in Chris Brown’s eyes, but behind the fury, there was love, although beneath the love there was most definitely more fury. There was a love sandwich was boiling up in the depths of Chris Brown’s soul. After several hours of raining non-stop blows upon Justin Bieber’s head, Chris Brown arose, and wiped a single bead of sweat from his brow.
      “Haha,” he said, proudly, hopping in his rented Lamborghini, and driving off into the sunset.

    • It’s better if you pretend they’re singing to each other.

  4. I think I would have been really weirded out by this if the acting hadn’t been SO good. Also the song itself is so pop-y and cheerful that I couldn’t help but love it!

    Also, please clarify: is one of the lyrics “You had my child”?

  5. Man, I can’t wait until some people choreograph their wedding entrance to this song, and also it is held in a blasted landscape scarred by man’s insatiable taste for vengeance. Romance!

  6. Oh my God, Chris Brown just struck that young wom– nevermind, it was Justin Bieber, false alarm.

  7. I’ll be right there next to you, girl. Even if the sky falls down. Unless you get hit by a vehicle, girl. If that happens, I need to run away and bust out some sweet dance moves, girl. You mean everything to me, girl, and I long for the day where you weren’t hit by a car so I could hold you in my arms and punch you in the face forever and ever.

  8. I remember driving that bus that day and when Chris Brown tried to get in, I was like, “Chris Brown? YOU CAN GO STRAIGHT TO THE SIDE OF BUS!”

  9. I really don’t think this is an appropriate way to show respect for the Vancouver riot.

  10. Can we agree to all never talk about the “oh na na” backing vocals at the end, sung in a way that only one song ever has (a Rihanna song)?

  11. “The uploader has not made this video available in your country”
    – I never thought that I’d be relieved at reading those words.

  12. Someone clear this up for me: are Chris Brown and Justin Bieber causing the shitstorm here, or are they just riding its waves to their own personal success?

    Deep stuff, either way.

  13. Selena Gomez: You have been warned.

  14. This isn’t quite the Chris Brown/Justin Bieber crossover we wanted.

    There we go.

  15. Shannon Elizebeth got “Chris Brown’d” by that car.

  16. And nobody bothered to pull Rhianna aside to suggest that it might not be great to have a song about S&M very shortly after having her face punched in? Nobody? No? There were no adults to tell these overly rich, incredibly fortunate, very young kids that invoking these images was a bad idea? This video is Jar Jar Binks.

    • The line “Sticks and stones may break my bones…” in that song does weird me out because I always think “Oh Rihanna, I still remember how you looked with all your face bones broken and it makes me sad” I mean, I respect her right to have whatever kind of freaky sex makes her happy (within reason/law) but I really do not want to hear that song.

      She also sang in an Eminem song that was kind of pro-domestic violence after the thing with Chris Brown though, so I think perhaps Rihanna has some issues there.

  17. I was just really relieved to find out there are back-up dancers in BARREN APOCALYPTIC NIGHTMARE WASTELAND. Phew.

  18. At first, I was all… “Is that Shannon Elizabeth?” and then I was all…”That is Shannon Elizabeth! Hey! Good for her!” and then I was all… “Really? Shannon Elizabeth? That’s weird.”

  19. video SO INTENSE then song so pussy – like chris brown behaviour and look (respectively).

  20. Chris Brown is a fantastic dancer. In terms of skill level and ease of movement, he’s utterly amazing to watch. However, I hate him and I’m not going to forgive/forget the punching women in the face thing so I just wish he would go away forever. And I hope he takes Justin with him.

  21. “I can’t believe I spent 8 billion dollars on this sh*t” – Collin Tilley, probably

  22. I just hope that Chris Brown doesn’t get confused like he did with his hair color and start punching that cute little girl Justin Bieber. She doesn’t deserve that.

  23. I wouldn’t want to date a girl who would run away and out of a car that just ran into and likely critically if not fatally injured a person.
    The “Sorry, but I was in a rush to make out with my boyfriend” line will not work in court, hussy.

  24. Who is Justice Beaver?

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