The Savannah, Georgia, police department had to remind citizens this week that 911 is for emergencies only and that misuse of the system is a misdemeanor offense after a woman called them to complain that a Chinese restaurant had given her the wrong food. So, apparently, the Savannah, Georgia, has a different definition of “emergencies” than the rest of us. SOMEONE HELP THIS POOR VICTIM!

The audio is a little garbled. Full transcript after the jump:

911 Operator: 911, what is your emergency?
Woman: Yeah, I need an officer to 11710 E Largo Drive to Hong Kong Restaurant Chinese Restaurant To Go. I order food and they gonna give me the wrong food. I bring this up site they gonna give me money they gonna half give me my money uh-unh, I need food.
911 Operator: OK, so what is your emergency?
Woman: FOOD! FOOD EMERGENCY!
911 Operator: Ma’am, you’ve got to be kidding me.
Woman: I’ll tell you the same thing I told Hong Kong Restaurant Chinese Restaurant To Go: unh-unhhhhhh.
911 Operator: Ma’am–
Woman: –I’ve died from starvation in the time you been took talk to me. Now I’m up in heaven, calling you from heaven, telling you to avenge my death against the villains of Hong Kong Restaurant Chinese Restaurant To Go.
911 Operator: Oh, that DOES sound serious.
Woman: Put the president on the phone?
911 Operator: Excuse me?
Woman: Put the President President of the USA United States on the phone. I’m taking my complaint to the top.
911 Operator: The President will be right there, ma’am. You just need to stay by the phone. The President is on his way.
Woman: My food!

Stay safe out there, you guys. (Via Gawker.)

Comments (17)
  1. Folks, 911 is for real emergencies, not for food issues. Use your noodle.*

    *Unless the Chinese restaurant you ordered your noodles from didn’t filled the order then yes, please go ahead and call 911.

  2. Those Ivy Leaguers have such an inflated sense of entitlement.

  3. Having moved to Savannah two years ago, I can confirm that the Chinese food here is a legitimate crime against humanity.

  4. White People Problems, right?

  5. ‘Okay we’ll get someone over to you right away.’ WILL YOU? You really will, is that what you’re gonna do? Oh good, that’s reassuring, THANK YOU SO MUCH.

  6. FYI, police codes and menu items do not always have the same number.

  7. I wish I would have known 911 was an option last week when I asked for 2 bags of Chinese tea to be put in my takeout order and only received ONE.

  8. Officer: “Police. We got your 911 call, what seems to be the problem here, ma’am?”

    Woman: “Yeah, I ordered a number 3, and they gonna give me a number 5? That’s not what I ordered, nuh-uh… Hell no-”

    *cop pulls out gun, unloads full clip into her*

    Officer (to his partner): “That looked justified, right? Good.”

  9. I find it fascinating that she says 11710 as “eleven seven ten.”

  10. Well, I hope that she at least got the right Chinese food after all this.

  11. Okay, well, I hate to be “that guy”, but unless the lady recorded her own call into 911, this is phony as heck. You can hear the phone being dialed and ringing before anybody picks up… how exactly does that work if the recording comes from the 911 call center?

    God, I hate myself so much for even pointing this out but it just nagged at me through the entire call, I felt like I was falling for a Jerky Boys reboot.

    • I had this same issue!

      But also, I didn’t hear what the transcript says, unless I stopped paying attention halfway through to write an email (not saying that happened but it probably happened)

  12. Gabe’s retelling of the story is so good I’m going to learn how to play music so I can start a band and the name of that band will be FOOD! FOOD EMERGENCY!

  13. How are they going to get the President to Heaven to take care of this? Air Force One? I’m pretty sure it can’t fly there.

  14. As a 911 dispatcher you are so busy you don’t have the time to reprimand every caller who misuses 911. (Although we all would love to.) You wouldn’t believe how many people call in about the most mundane things. You really have no idea. Plus it does no good to fuss at someone that ignorant because no talk you could ever give them will make them admit they were wrong. I’ve tried. So you bite your tongue and send an officer.

    To those of you wondering why she sent an officer to the call. It sounded like a pretty heated discussion that woman was having with the restaurant staff so that is considered a disturbance and to keep it from escalating you send an officer to ensure the peace. After all, that’s their job description. Plus, you can’t just ignore her, shell keep calling. So once again you just play along with their fucked up sense of entitlement and send someone, because if that dumb bitch flips out and hurts someone it all comes back on you.

    And to “that guy” EVERYTHING is recorded in a communications center, radio channels, 911 lines, regular phone lines, etc. The equipment is so sensitive on the phone in front of me it can pick up a loud fart. Every dispatcher has access to the recorder as well, to play something back in case you didnt catch an important peice of info the first time. You can save, copy whatever. Incidents that go to court use recordings as evidence.

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