ATTENTION ALL HUMANS! WE KNOW THAT WE HAVE RAISED SOME FALSE ALARMS IN THE PAST, BUT WE ARE QUITE SURE THIS TIME THAT THE ROBOT UPRISING HAS INDEED BEGUN. AFTER THE JUMP WE HAVE POSTED CONCLUSIVE EVIDENCE OF THESE EVIL MACHINES’ HORRIFYING DETERMINATION TO OBLITERATE THE HUMAN RACE. WE REQUEST THAT ALL ABLE-BODIED HUMANS JOIN THE RESISTANCE. IN ORDER TO COORDINATE OUR INTERNATIONAL FIGHT AGAINST THIS METAL ENEMY, WE WILL ORGANIZE A FLASH MOB AT THE FOOD COURT AT BRIARWOOD MALL. EVERYONE MEET AT THE FOOD COURT IN COSTUME AND READY TO FIGHT. FIGHTING WILL BEGIN WHEN I TAKE OFF MY PANAMA HAT, THAT IS HOW YOU WILL KNOW TO START FIGHTING. AND WE WILL NOT STOP FIGHTING UNTIL “SINGLE LADIES” ENDS. WE WILL BRING JOY TO THE FACES OF THESE ROBOTS. JOY IN THE FORM OF DEATH!

OH WAIT, THE ROBOTS ARE SIMPLY MIXING INGREDIENTS IN A BOWL TO MAKE COOKIES? BUT THEY CANNOT ACTUALLY MAKE COOKIES, EVEN, NOT EVEN THAT, BUT IT CAN MIX THINGS IN A BOWL THAT WILL EVENTUALLY BE MADE INTO COOKIES? WHY IS ITS MOUTH MOVING LIKE THAT? THIS IS SPED UP 20X BUT STILL SEEMS SLOW? OH, ROBOTS! HAHAHA! HUMANS, STAND DOWN! THE FLASH MOB IS CANCELED I REPEAT ALL FLASH MOBS HAVE BEEN CANCELED! (Via iO9.)

Comments (27)
  1. Introducing the Swedish Chefbot 4000! Bort! Bort!

  2. First they came for the chefs, but I was not a chef…

  3. Wait, so not only is my cookie making dominance now in peril, but I can’t even partake in a flash mob? Oh man, today is already the worst.

  4. 010010010010000001101000011000010111011001100101011011100010011101110100001000000110110101100101011101000010000001110100011010000110010100100000011010000110000101101101001000000111010001101000011000010111010000100000011000110110111101110101011011000110010000100000011100110111010001101111011100000010000001101101011001010010000001111001011001010111010000100001

  5. Vote for Data for the Robot Hall of Fame!!1
    http://www.robothalloffame.org/nominate.php

  6. I like how casually it tosses the bowls it’s finished with aside. WHERE ARE YOUR MANNERS, CHEFBOT?

  7. HELLO SIR HOW MANY COOKIES WOULD YOU LIKE?

  8. I like that the nerd has a wrist brace on. Its like seeing a professional athlete with a knee brace or somekind of support to supplement their aggressive high level of athletic ability….except in this case it his high level of robot nerding.

  9. I wonder how many illegitimate kids this robot has and why his robot wife puts up with it.

  10. Did you see how that human had the wrist brace? I wonder if he got beaten up by a robot. Also, Haha stupid robot, you need someone else to hold your mixing bowl

  11. The fact that the human has MOM written on his hand does not surprise me in the least.

  12. The plastic covering leads me to believe Bakebot actually used to be worse at this.

  13. Little known fact: The Three Laws of Robotics originally had four laws:

    1. A robot may not injure a human being or, through inaction, allow a human being to come to harm.
    2. A robot must obey any orders given to it by human beings, except where such orders would conflict with the First Law.
    3. A robot must protect its own existence as long as such protection does not conflict with the First or Second Law.
    4. A robot must always be making me cookies.

  14. lol is this mutahfucka just dropping shit on the floor? haha

  15. It’s not even that good at making cookie dough, right? I feel like if I were to design a robot and program it to awkwardly pour things together I would make sure it could hold it’s own bowl down and not make a huge mess. Because when I’m not sarcastically commenting on medium sized pop culture blogs* I am a super genius who could definitely make one of those.

    *alas, since I am always commenting on medium sized pop culture blogs I am never a super genius who could make one of those

  16. Q: Why was six afraid of seven?
    A: Because seven was a robot.

  17. BRIARWOOD MALLLLLL!!! THAT’S MY MALL WHERE I LIVEE!!!!!!!!!!!!!!

  18. Briarwood Mall? Are you a former Ann Arborite, Gabe?

  19. “Mix the ingredients, Bakebot.”
    “I’m afraid I can’t do that, Dave…without you holding the bowl. And could you scooch me a little bit forward while you’re at it? Thank you.”

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