After the jump, the five Highest Rated comments, as voted on by you, the Lowest Rated comment, the The Wire As 1970s Hanna Barbera Cartoon Caption Contest winner, and the Editor’s and Associate Editor’s Choice.

This Week’s Highest Rated Comments

#5 Abacus Finch | Jun 7th Score:64

I’ve kept a copy of the sketch as a warning to myself not to be stupid:

Posted in: Facebook Friend Tattoo And Tattoos In General
#4 That One | Jun 3rd Score:72

I swear I’m not trying to be snarky, but I want to say that I think it is legitimately HILARIOUS that animated gifs are a divisive issue in any context whatsoever. Like, how is that not one of the funniest things ever to everyone?

Posted in: This Week In GIFs
#3 huckabeast | Jun 7th Score:78

CWND, n00b

Posted in: Pranks Are The Worst But This Is A Good Prank
#2 Polythene Pam | Jun 6th Score:80

I can’t think of a White People Problem more appropriate than “too many movies about White People Problems in the Hunt”

Posted in: The Hunt For The Worst Movie Of All Time: Somewhere

[Assoc. Ed Note: Oh wow, I have the same tattoo! Congratulations, Patrick M!]

This Week’s Lowest Rated Comment

#1 hugh manatee | Jun 3rd Score:-34
I already posted this comment in the performance review but no one will ever see it because there’s a million comments, no joke. So I’m posting it here also, because it’s also relevant to this thread, and I hope I’m not penalized for spamming the site because I’m really not tryna. As I know some people have already said, it’s hard to comment effectively if you have a for serious full time job and are on the West Coast. Screw you east coast teenagers/unemployed/commenting celebs who need too much attention. 

I feel like I need to say something that’s missing from this debate, or maybe it’s not missing, I don’t know because there are 600 and something comments, but it seems like some of y’all are taking this wwwwaaaaayyyyyyy too seriously. I’m the editor of a web site/blog that sees very similar monthly uniques to videogum, and I’m totally jealous of the Monster community (most of my commenters are 13 year old girls/Chris Brown fans, so yeah, pretty lame), but on the flip side, I really don’t care about y’alls super witty offhand remarks that you actually spent 30 minutes coming up with in your cubicle/dorm/parent’s house. If I wanted to know what you thought, I’d go read your blog or follow you on Twitter. I find the fact that there are people who literally spend all day on Videogum commenting extremely obnoxious and it’s a major turnoff, so I mostly come here to the comments for the gifs. The fact that there’s an actual serious debate about that issue kind of proves my point. Some of you dudes need to seriously calm down.

Also, on an unrelated point, I went to a videogum meetup in Los Angeles and I’ve never seen so many chubby/fat girls in one place in Los Angeles before. Not saying I have a problem with curvy women or that any of them (you know who you are) should lose weight or feel bad, but it’s just something I laughed at inwardly and wanted to share.

In closing, calm down people it’s a pop culture blog. If you’re spending more than an hour on Videogum a day, then you’re doing it wrong (it being your life).

All my love,

hugh

Posted in: This Week In GIFs

[Ed Note: Hi Hugh. You should be jealous. The Videogum monster community is GREAT. On the flip side THERE IS NO FLIP SIDE. It's great and your comment makes no sense. As an editor of a website yourself, you should know that you are under no obligation to visit Videogum at all, but if you do visit Videogum, you can always pick and choose which parts of the site to consume. You don't have to read any of the comments ever, that is totally up to you! And if you think that it is sad that some people feel very strongly about how the comment section should operate, I can assure you that the only thing sadder is going out of your way to insult those people in a repeat comment because you were worried your first comment would get lost in the shuffle. YOU are the one who seriously needs to clam down.

Also, on an unrelated note, just kidding, it's totally related: making disparaging ad hominem comments about the fucking actual HUMAN BODIES of people at an Internet meet-up that you CHOSE to go to on the site that you liked so much that you wanted to take part in that event is beyond the pale. What business or purpose does that garbage serve in your already specious comment? It's simply hurtful. And that's not how we do things around here.

In closing, you are banned.]

This Week’s Caption Contest Winner

#4 Patrick M | Jun 7th Score:74

Counterpoint: please just watch them in order like you’re supposed to.

Posted in: The Videogum Why Don’t YOU Caption It? Contest: The Wire As 1970s Hanna Barbera Cartoon

[Ed Note: Said in response to this. Congratulations again, Patrick M! You earned it.]

This Week’s Associate Editor’s Choice

 

Joseph Klein | Jun 7th Score:33

You don’t get to 152 friends without making a few dumb decisions regarding body art.

Posted in: Facebook Friend Tattoo And Tattoos In General

[Assoc. Ed Note: Even though the tattoo's fake, the joke is real. Real GOOD! Good joke.]

This Week’s Editor’s Choice

R2D2, Esq. | 9:37am Score:19

And that little boy went on to live in a small studio apartment on West 25th Street.

You did it, little guy. You crossed that river.

Posted in: Nine-Year-Old Boy Dances To Madonna’s “Vogue” In The Summer Of 1991 OR: Happy Friday!

[Ed Note: The humor in this comment is very subtle. A++. Hugh would probably hate it.]

Comments (132)
  1. Attention monsters of Toronto and it’s vicinity. Us monsters have organized the first Canadian monster meetup. Come and have fun. http://www.facebook.com/event.php?eid=224554104239849 [note: no assholes]

    • Alberta would have a monster meetup but unfortunately it’s against the rules to be an asshole.

      • Do you think posting NO FATTIES at the top of my invites is why I can’t seem to put together an Atlanta meet-up? I thought Hugh Manatee was giving me good advice at the time.

        • I would come to that! Tons of awesome Monsters in ATL that I have already met. LET’S DO THIS!

          • Oh, you’re in ATL? Rad! I don’t have the Videogum clout* to announce it or whatever, but I’m so there.

            Transmuting buds from OL—>IRL ZOMG don’t know if I’m ready.


            *I have no idea what this means. I think it means remembering who’s who.

          • ATL monster roll call! I would come to this assuming it’s one of the like 3 weekends I don’t have to go to a wedding this summer (Yeah, that’s right. People invite me to a party in exchange for a thoughtful gift of housewares from Crate and Barrel. Jealoussssss?).

          • I live in New Orleans, but travel to ATL often b/c of all the great Monsters who live there! And there are still more I want to meet, including you now! Ok, some ATL Monster start planning. (I am looking at you Kel, Teach, BF, Godsauce, etc.!)

        • ATL monster here. (Well, I technically live in the cultural wasteland known as Johns Creek. I would request a little latitude from the judges.) I would love to do a meet up, but lack the organizational skills to set it up.

          Other Atlanta area monsters: Godsauce, Baby Friday, Teacherman.

          (sorry to hijack your thread, Chris Trash)

      • AHEM! I will have you know that Pam and I are both in Alberta. Pam and I and OTHERS! Just because Alberta invented Nickelback and Stephen Harper and the Reform Party doesn’t mean we’re all terrible.
        We also invented KD Lang and Cadence Weapon and Chad Van Gaalen and Nathan Fillion and Fay Wray and WP Kinsella.

        But yeah, there are a lot of assholes.

        • I am actually kind of an asshole though.

        • I have lived in Alberta my entire life, and it might just be the area I’m from, but from what I can tell the entire province is the same boring town with a Wal-Mart, A Ramada and suburban houses that look as thought they’re carved out of plastic.

          • ALBERTA MONSTERS! I just assumed you were from Ontario by your comment, and therefore was contractually obliged to go all freeze-in-the-dark on you (70sCanadianpoliticalslogansgum up in here!).
            Where are you from, Calgary? Central Edmonton is really nice. Come join the cool kids up here, we’ll have a meetup at the Black Dog or something.

          • He’s from Crowsnest Pass (which is a beautiful area, I don’t know why you’re complaining SoG). And you might want to wait a number of years on that Black Dog invite, Gobbles. Son of Gabe is a young’un.

          • I’m not exactly from the Crowsnest Pass, I’m from a nearby town that is so small I just either say Crowsnest Pass or Pincher Creek when asked where I’m from because it’s so small and I agree The Pass is a beautiful area with a very interesting history such as North America’s first communist town council.

          • Do you go to Waterton all the time? I’ve only been there once but it was the most amazing.

          • Had dinner there tonight, and IT WAS the most amazing.

    • At Snakes & Lattes?! Has anyone had a grand time there? It seems too good to be true.

  2. Hot damn Gabe!

    You have my bow…

  3. Looks like somebody finally got thrown into the bottom of that whoops ocean I hear so much about.

    • It’s full of whoops angler fish and other scary ass whoops animals


      I like Albert Brooks and Ellen DeGeneres so I will not compare him to them, and I also don’t think he deserves to be eaten, I’m confused

      • The Internet is hard…and he made the worst kind of waves here. Hugh just needs to let what he did really sink in, so he can sea his fault.

        (Get me out of here, Friday…)

  4. Abridged version of hugh manatee’s comment:
    “You guys are losers. p.s. You’re fat.”

  5. My general awe of Gabe has now been enhanced by a terrible fear of Gabe. I feel like I should go pray a rosary or something.

  6. This is for Hugh Manatee…

  7. Congrats to everyone who made the Ball! Let’s dance!

  8. So, what ya sayin’ is it ain’t what ya say it’s the way that ya say it?

  9. Bleh. How did I miss Hugh’s comment last week? Because that is some BULLSHIT. Goodbye, Hugh. Have fun catering to petulant, adolescent Chris Brown fans, because clearly your readership is more like you than you realize.

  10. Hugh Manatee’s worst crime is wasting a perfectly good pun name. I… *sniff*… Damn, I promised myself I wouldn’t cry, but I really hate seeing a pun name going down like that. *sniff* Unfair! Life is goddamn unfair!

  11. Here Hugh. I got this for you.

    I hope you like it.

  12. Speaking of this week, how great was the Dan Harmon interview on the AV Club? It was really great.

  13. “I really don’t care about y’alls super witty offhand remarks that you actually spent 30 minutes coming up with in your cubicle/dorm/parent’s house.”

    He called us super witty, YAY!

  14. Heh. That’s funny. I was talking to someone who went to a videogum meetup in Los Angeles and she said that she had never seen such an epic douchebag in Los Angeles before. Not saying she has a problem with douches or that said douche (you know who you are) should lose douchebaggery or feel bad, but it’s just something I laughed at inwardly and wanted to share.*

    *note – the above is a lie. But it is an entertaining lie. In the end, isn’t that the truth?**

    **note x2 – the above mentioned note is stolen from the Simpsons. I have not had an original idea since 1986. August 1986, to be precise. Oh, those halcyon days of yore.

    • Hugh was noted as responding:

      • Nope, this gif is too good for Hugh!

      • Fun story about Gobblegirl’s feminist friends:
        A friend of mine and I were once discussing whether the insult “douchebag” is misogynist.
        I decided that it isn’t, for the following reasons:
        Douchebags are are out-dated, will make you ill, and are something that I don’t ever, ever want anywhere near my vagina. Just like Hugh.

        • Yes! My girlfriend and I have had this same discussion. Also, douchebags think they are great for a vagina, and that vaginas are flawed without them.

        • I think it likely started out as misogynist, because hasn’t it been around since before everyone knew douches were really bad? I don’t know for sure, because my only real life experience with douches was when I was a kid and I was at my father’s gf’s house during my court-ordered visitation with him & his gf asked me to get a lightbulb “out of the hall closet” so I opened the door to the linen closet (it was in the hall also! I didn’t realize its proximity to the bathroom made it a linen closet and not a hall closet) and it was stacked floor-to-ceiling with douches and she came to see what was taking me so long because I was just standing there awestruck.

          Oops, my actual point was that I think maybe it was misogynistic at first but now that pubic opinion of literal douches has changed, it is an apt insult.

    • Your original ideas were victims of the Chernobyl disaster.

  15. Beyond the fucking pale. Also let it be pointed out that Hugh’s website lacks the Videogum community because he OPENLY DISPARAGES THEM. I imagine that prevents a solid community from building.

    In other news, I got SO close to the ball! Ed Helms tattoo art helped. Next time, gadget!

    • I feel like a lot of total jerks have successful websites, like Perez Hilton
      I would post a picture of Perez Hilton but than I would punch my computer so hard that it would break

  16. Remember, don’t cross the streams this weekend. Stay safe*

    *Meh. This doesn’t make sense. I just wanted to use this gif.

  17. Wait, does this mean we no longer have a Videogum Hugh Manatee Promise?

  18. Um, I hereby bequeath my comment contest award to Topknot who had the highest rated comment that was (1) relevant to the contest and (2) not indicative of a broader trend of sometimes being an ass, according to my wife.

    Also, my tattoo was fake, so.

  19. Sorry if this is a real fringe opinion, but Hugh seems like a real dickhole.

  20. Ok here I go, it feels ridiculous that I am actually nervous writing this but nonetheless I have to say it. Reading Gabe’s banning of the troll meister above made my heart actually swell with arrhythmia, no I kid, with actual delight that the comment was treated with the seriousness it deserves and the dignity of the commenters was respected. Saying that, I have, every so often, been disheartened by the fatism (more often than not against women) that posts on this site has engage in. I can give examples if they’re needed, one in particular comes to mind. I truly feel that the editorial content on Videogum is better than anything else I have had the pleasure to come across on the web. As a man with young daughters I cringe when I come across these incidents, so maybe on the back of the crappy comment above can we avoid lowering ourselves to pointing and laughing at people’s physical attributes and stick to sniggering at their jazz hands, Christian side hugging, double rainbow, Gooping. Pumpkin heads are fair game though.

    • All we ask is to be treated with dignity.

    • I won’t go all the way to agreeing with you, because I can’t think of any vgum examples off the top of my head to cite so it clearly hasn’t bothered me as much as it has you, but I do know that in general our society finds it very easy to make fun of fat people. And I’m sure that there ARE vgum examples, though I think this site is usually pretty good at following the mock-peoples-choices-not-their-bodies/disabilities/etc rule.

      So yes, let us take a moment to remember to be more considerate in the future. Always a good point! But I also have a followup question re: pumpkin heads. What about gingers?

      • Featuring fun fat fights:

        http://bit.ly/i4Fv3P

      • You raise an interesting issue Gobblegirl, the Ginger question. I actually can’t, in good conscience, watch the Copper Cab videos. It makes me worry far too much about the boy’s mental state, and I suffer from terminal second hand embarrassment. This week I have had to keep a medi-pack on my person at all times so I can be resuscitated should I come across Weiner’s apology on the news again. When it comes to reality TV in general I have a DNR.

        So anyway on a more serious note my generation of males in the area I come from and the country more generally have seen a very high suicide rate for young males. I’ve lost friends and colleagues and see a need to raise awareness and more practically, funds, for charities which deal with youth suicide. When I have briefly watched clips of CC I’m reminded how hards the world can be when you’re young, male and in this case ginger. (I’m not saying being young and female is all that either) Also ginger-hate derives from the colonial and post-colonial denigration of Irish people so there’s that. My oh my, look what stopping me posting gifs has wreaked!

        • Hi, I’m DSN, and I’m a ginger. (“Hi DSN.” – you guys”)

          Oddly enough, I didn’t run into any real ginger bashing until much later in my life, until the South Park episode. I may have gotten the stray red head comment thrown at me here or there, but nothing organized. So, I count myself lucky there. The most slack I get is from my friends which is nothing more than harmless ball-busting. No problems there; if I’ve learned anything from my childhood, play along, be apart of the joke, not the butt of it.

          But I will say, to you non-gingers who make jokes to your ginger friends because you saw the South Park episode that one time; I cannot tell you how not funny it is. I mean, really. It’s overplayed and unfunny. There’s a bit of absurdist fun in it, that even I can appreciate, but it was a pretty mediocre episode by South Park standards. Maybe because I’ve been teased about so much I am becoming a bit annoyed by it, but really.

          I guess what I’m saying is JESUS! GET NEW MATERIAL, JEFF DUNHAM!

    • Yeah, I have noticed the same, even from Gabe, which is why I was also really glad to see this. BUT I have also noticed that when I engage in these conversations with people of different opinions, there are actual intelligent discussions. I got into a back-and-forth in the comments on one web video where an overweight lady was singing karaoke, and the critical commenter seemed to genuinely want to understand a different point of view. When it comes to body acceptance stuff, it’s like any other movement; people have to be educated about things they haven’t had to experience firsthand in order for there to be empathy and understanding. I have been avoiding any comment sections where unnecessary fat jokes may come up, but maybe we’re slowly figuring this stuff out and learning from it. So maybe Hugh Manatee did us a favor, in his weird, aggressive way.

      In other news, I kind of want to go to an LA meetup now. The Brooklyn ones never have nearly enough chubby girls. I’m fine with holding down the fort, but perhaps chubby girls of Videogum should be a sub-faction. I’ve already made a Harry Potter Fans of Videogum coalition, and I’m not afraid to start another one.

    • I feel the same way, That’s Your Commenter (except I am a childless female, so not the part about being a man with young daughters). Gabe’s comment made me happy and yours does too.

  21. Eddie Murphy had a sketch on SNL called White Like Me in which he super unconvincingly went undercover as a white guy to see how the other half lived. The results were, of course, exaggerated for comic effect, but what he found was that people said crazy racist shit when black people weren’t around.

    I say that to say this: I gained a TON of weight while I was suffering from a Major Depressive Episode for about 6 years. I’ve lost it over the past year, but now when I meet people who probably never knew I was fat, they say some outrageous stuff about fat people. JUST VERY MEAN AND CRUEL THINGS. And it pisses me off. I don’t make a big deal about it – and I don’t say anything hinting that I was fat, but I feel like a double agent. Like… if you knew, would you still say these things, you asshole.

    So basically, FUCK YOU, HUGH MANATEE. You’re the worst and I hope your website burns to the ground. You’re the worst and you make people feel badly about themselves. Fuck off and I’m sure your room in our cubicle/dorm/parent’s house is literally wallpapered with autographed posters of Chris Brown because you love him so much. You’re the worst. Go fuck yourself.

    • I literally didn’t realize how many times I mentioned that he was “the worst”. Good talk, self. Maybe I should go back to therapy.

    • Fuck Huuuuuuuuuugh.

      larrydavid.jpg

    • That sketch was a very good sketch. My favorite part is the party on the bus. Also the newspaper. And weight thing aside, I am glad you are out of that 6 year period, Becca! And you used “worst” an appropriate number of times.

    • Yeah, I’ve literally doubled my weight in the past two years, and before that I was scary skinny, and it’s kind of insane the way every single aspect of society morphs into monsters. I honest to god was never mean or condescending to bigger people when I was younger, or at least I hope not, because pretty much every influential person that raised me was obese and you really learn not notice. But now I go to parties and people don’t offer me a cupcake, or don’t hesitate to say “You’re only the second biggest person in this store!” (and these are the nicer ones that deign to speak to me in the first place?) I guess I sit my fat ass online and visit sites like VideoGum all day as a reassurance that there’s a better side of humanity. Keep the witty comments coming guys!

    • I do not want to seriousgum this party up too much, but I must extend a high five to you. Also, to Gabe. Possibly also to Birdie. (Fine – always to Birdie).

      I, too, gained a ton of weight during the depression times (my own depression, I mean. Not the Great one).
      Before that, I was skinny. Or at least slim. I did not think so at the time, but I looked at some of my old clothes years later and wondered who they belonged to, because I could not recall being that small.
      During the period when I was at my worst, I hardly ate.
      When I eventually ended up in the hospital, I started to eat again. Gained a ton of weight due to medications. That was ten years ago, and I have not lost the weight I gained. I do not imagine I ever will, and it is not the result of eating too many cakes and watching too many internets (though even if it was, that wouldn’t really be anyone’s business).

      The point is that when people make comments about weight, or when I feel shitty about how I do not look like I did in my twenties, I have to point out – gaining weight was a side effect of not dying. So, yeah, I am whatever size I am, but, hey – not dead.

      I was of average weight (BMI-wise) for the first part of my life, so when I gained weight I always kept the idea in my head that it was temporary, and that I was not actually fat. It has taken years to get used to the new version of myself, who is really not so new now. And maybe I am a fat kid, but that is for me to decide. For folks who grew up larger than the people around them, I cannot imagine what it would be like to endure comments about their appearance all the fucking time.

      So, yeah – shut it, Huge Manatee and your ilk.
      And right-on, Becca and Gabe (and other super monsters).

  22. I’ve never made Monsters’ Ball before and I’ll be very honest: I squealed with delight.

    Also, to Hugh, wherever you are:

  23. The one good thing about really awful, mean people is they usually make it pretty obvious for the rest of us! It’s nice to be able to know you are a worthless douche within a few seconds of reading your comments and/or listening to your standup.

  24. Well, Hugh went and proved the exception to the rule I was about to point out. I actually had originally come here to say that I normally avoid every comment section on every other blog because they’re all just full of people using their anonymity to just say whatever awful things they can think of (inspired by a recent post on Gawker about Elizabeth Edwards supposedly recording a video before she died to be played and used against John Edwards during his trial, after which some commenter decided to call Elizabeth Edwards a “cunt” for doing this, which, no joke, actually made me feel sick in my stomach). But I do read the Videogum comments and try to participate when I’m not 500 comments late to the party, because I’m consistently impressed with the way people here have anonymity, but still act like decent adults who can make arguments while simultaneously agreeing to see other people’s unique perspectives.

    In conclusion, EVERYONE should be jealous of Videogum’s community, not just bigoted Chris Brown fanboys with weight issues.

  25. After Hugh’s douche-tastic comment & Gabe’s reply, I just want to say something:
    While I haven’t change my opinion about certain aspects of the site that I don’t like, I do realized this is a great & fun community. I’m happy Gabe (and the rest of you who downvoted) refused to put up with Hugh’s crap.
    Well done Gabe.

    Also, you guys haven’t gotten rid of me yet ;)

  26. No offense to Patrick M, but taken out of context the caption makes almost no sense, which actually makes it more funny if you think about it

  27. I had to google Huckabeast’s comment in order to understand it. Unclear whether that’s sad or a good thing. Clear that either way it means I’m old.
    Fact: CWND can also stand for “Congestion Window” according to the first several hits on google.

  28. Larry David always knew Hughs were the worst

    http://youtu.be/9ieXFCbEzWE

  29. I wish someone was still on here to explain the west 25 th comment. Used to live on that street and feel like a loser for missing something significant. and Google has been of no help

    • oh i can explain for you! in case you come back to this. surprised this wasn’t clear if you lived there, but that’s in chelsea. which is a lovely, arty and vibrant neighborhood largely populated by gay men. you’re welcome

  30. Keep the dancing down guys, I’m trying to put Russell Crowe to sleep…”Shhhhhh, Russ, it’s going to be alright. All foreskins go to Heaven. Now let me put on the sheep counting video…”

  31. Hugh’s real name is Allan and all he really wants to do is get dressed up and go to the Star Wars convention with us geeks!

    On a related note: anyone with a peanut allergy should exercise extreme caution in the coming days.

  32. Fun chubby chicks? Lay down on the hate, Hugh.

  33. I went to the Glee concert last night and there’s no one else to tell about this except for EVERYONE and it was amazing and I love Chris Colfer and he Darren Criss and Puckerman walked right by me and it was awesome and I’m pretty sure I am the coolest and thats it.

    THE END.

    Or is it?

  34. whoops i forgot how to post an image

  35. and once more test

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