Have you ever had a stranger come up to you on the street and tell you to smile? I feel like strangers do that A LOT. Why is it such a thing that strangers do? Nobody walks around smiling to themselves. And nobody has a better day because someone told them to smile on the street when they were just trying to get wherever they were going, OFF the street. “I was a little down until a weird person told me to smile, now I’m very happy.” Leave me alone! Everyone leave everyone else alone! No talking allowed. We all have headphones on.

With that said, though, when you watch this video you should imagine that I am the owner of the dog and you are the dog and I am repeatedly telling you to smile, because FRIDAAAYYYYYY!!!:

Awww, horrible voice! That’s me! That’s me talking to you. (Via Arbroath.)

Comments (51)
  1. That dog is not smiling, that dog is baring its fangs before he eats the owner
    RIP Owner

  2. that is not a very happy smile.

    this one’s way better.

  3. That’s a smile?

    That looks like my face when I read the Tracy Morgan post.

  4. Looks a bit more like wincing to me. Because, well, obviously.

  5. Someone walks up to me and tells me to smile: I’ll kill them.

    It’s a JOKE, guys. C’mon. Sheesh, I’m a comedian for cryin out loud.

  6. Ugh, I hate when peole tell me to smile too. I assume their intention is to make me happy, but the opposite happens and I spend half the afternoon either angry at the stranger or obsessing over what’s wrong with me that makes complete strangers feel the need to tell me to smile.

    • When someone does that, I just make up some awful reason to tell them why I’m not smiling (got fired, Paul Reiser Show got cancelled, etc.). Then they feel like assholes.

      • I should try that. I feel telling someone to smile is kind of the lazy way to deal with the situation socially. It’s basically saying “I don’t like your appearance. Smile for me, performing monkey!” If they really care, they should ask “are you ok?”

        • I agree with this totally. My neutral face looks sad to people I guess (my bottom lip is like 2x the size of my top lip, so I think that maybe makes it look like I’m pouting, but like you say if someone really thinks I’m sad maybe ask why instead of commanding me to smile), so I get this a lot. I’ve never had anyone who wasn’t a white, seemingly hetero man age 40 or older say this to me though, so I always kind of get the sense they mean “Make your face pretty for me to look at, woman! That’s what your face is for, to be decorative to me, not to reflect your emotions or lack thereof” I dunno, maybe it’s my own prejudice, but it really always comes across like they just know they’re making this little lady’s day by paying her attention.

          It’s a damned if you do, damned if you don’t situation though, because when I am out in public and am laughing at things I’m thinking about and then managing to supress the laughter but unable to stop having a huge smile on my face people try to avoid eye contact and walk away.


      • That’s what I do! My favorite is when someone tells me to smile I respond “my mom just died.” My mom did die, but that was a long time ago, and I don’t think she’d mind me bending the truth about her a little.

  7. You don’t know how bad that dog wants to learn how to operate an automobile and drive over the camera man.

  8. that is one creepy smile. this guy knows what i’m talking about

  9. Holy cow! Horrible voice is right. That dog deserves some kind of award for not ripping that guy’s face off. Especially considering the whole heightened sense of hearing thing.

  10. That Gabe thinks strangers say this a lot makes me think he stalks around Brooklyn with a permanent scowl. SMILE, DUDE.

    • WOOPS it’s Kelly. HI KELLY!

      • I thought the same thing at first – “I only thought creepsters said this to girls as a lame come-on, but dudes get it too?” Kelly, we feel your pain.

        • Yea, I’m pretty sure this only happens to girls. Usually it’s an old man who’s like, “I bet you’re prettier when you’re smiling. ah. There she is…” or something like that.
          I can’t tell if it’s nice or if they should leave me alone… I figure they’re not trying to hurt me, but i can be naive.

          • I don’t give them the satisfaction, because even though they may be trying to be nice, they’re doing it in a really patronizing way. As smoky marcella mentioned, if the person really cared about you they’d ask you what was wrong (if they thought something was actually wrong) instead of commanding you to bend your face to their whims.

      • I feel like I can finally tell a Kelly post from a Gabe post without even looking at the name

  11. This is like that plush dog toy thingie you could get in the ’90s that started off looking peaceful and kind of bored before you angled its eyebrows and pulled back its lips to reveal it was actually a BOILING CAULDRON OF CANINE HATRED. I don’t know what those thingies were called but DOGS!

  12. Strangely enough, when people tell me to smile, I make pretty much the same face that the dog does in this video.

    That usually ends the conversation right there.

  13. “Whoops, we forgot to teach him to smize.”

  14. I’m smiling right now because I’m commenting from an airplane! Woo hoo! Vacation!

  15. I’m pretty sure the “Smile!” thing usually only happens to girls, and it is the most patronizing thing ever! It’s basically saying “Your body and your face exist primarily for me to look at. What you may feel or want is secondary. Change yourself to make things more visually appealing to me.”

    I was told this by a PROFESSOR once. He was a mega creep and harassing several students in other ways as well. I like to think my complaints kept him from getting tenure.

    • There are some garbage men in my neighborhood who sometimes holler at me to smile. Reminds me of that David Cross joke about women who like to eff on a pile of trash.

    • Yes! I said similar things in reply to other comments above, but you said in more concisely and effectively. I’m upvoting this as hard as I can.

    • yes, it’s stealth sexual harassment.

    • It’s really bad working in retail, because both customers and your supervisor would tell you to smile, and give you shit about your attitude if you didn’t. Admittedly, this is pretty helpful in retail, but I have not once seen anyone tell one of the guys I work with to smile, for any reason.

  16. Am I the only person who kind of smiles most of the time? I certainly don’t scowl. I definitely smize always, even just walking around. I happen to know it makes me look better and I’m generally a very happy person, so a smile just makes sense?

    I dunno. The best way to get someone to smile is to smile AT them. Smiles are contagious!

  17. OMG, Kelly! The weird guys telling you to smile thing is THE WORST! I guess my default face is just mean looking because random fellows are always saying “Don’t look so mean, boo.” (BOO!) THIS IS JUST HOW MY FACE LOOKS WHEN I DON’T HAVE ANY THOUGHTS INSIDE OF IT. It just looks pissed off, okay?

  18. I have decided that next time some old man tells me to smile I’m going to say* “I”ll smile for you if you DANCE FOR ME!” because it’s only fair that I also get to command them to perform some physical action they would not currently choose to.

    *No I’m not, because this usually happens when I’m shopping for groceries or something, and don’t feel like dealing with more human interaction than necessary, so I usually just give them a disdainful look.

    • Why what’s a pretty little lady like you got to be sad about? I don’t know much, I’m just an important, breadwinning businessman with lots of deals to do, but a gal like you should just get a new dress and get back to doing what you do best – beautifying my world!

  19. I bet that dog’s gotten out of so many tickets with that smile.

  20. “You keep using the word smile to describe what I am doing.I do not think it means what you think it does.” – Dat Dog


Leave a Reply

You must be logged in to post, reply to, or rate a comment.