What is most baffling about the Anthony Wiener scandal is the fact that it’s REALLY hard to “accidentally” tweet a picture of your dick even when you aren’t famous. Like, I have neither a family nor a rising political career to lose, and yet I’ve never even come close to doing such a thing. Not even CLOSE! It’s not just that there aren’t any dick pics on my phone, although let me assure you, there aren’t any dick pics on my phone (sorry ladies, I’m sure) but also it’s kind of a drag to post photos on Twitter? You have to select them from your gallery and upload them, or you have to take a new photo and approve it, but in any case, you are definitely about to tweet a photo, and that photo is apparently of your dick, and you are a public figure with a wife who works in the State Department and a genuine shot at the New York mayor’s office in 2016 so what is even going on here? You probably shouldn’t even have a Twitter account. Let one of your summer interns post updates about which charity pancake breakfast you are attending. (Apparently I am now a professional political campaign manager. Congratulations to me on this achievement!) I guess when you are tweeting your dick to six different women including one porn star it can get kind of complicated. These guys know what I’m talking about. But perhaps what is most discouraging about the situation is that it is yet another stark reminder that no matter how high we climb in this life (and sometimes very much because we have climbed so high) we are too often dissatisfied with our lot in life and this deep-seated unhappiness leads us to take dangerous and self-destructive and most importantly ineffective steps towards trying to fulfill that gaping existential need for something, anything, we don’t even know what usually. It’s kind of a bummer!

So, you know, if you want to sew little fancy clothes for rats and then get together in a convention-style setting to share your creations with other people who share your interest, it certainly doesn’t seem to be hurting anyone and hopefully it makes you happy. Lucky you then!

The first rule of Fancy Rats Club is NO SEXTING. (Via Dlisted.)

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Comments (32)
  1. Is this from the sequel to Ferrets: the Pursuit of Excellence?

    • I was unaware anyone else knew of that documentary! An exboyfriend of mine legitmately thought it would be a good present to give me (note: I have never owned, nor have I had the desire to own, a ferret).

      • That is very weird. Not as weird as the one lady who collected dead ferrets from all of her friends and stored them in her freezer (along with her human food) until she could get a bulk discount from the pet cremation place, but still very weird.

    • Actually, it’s Willard: The Squeakquel.

  2. Despite all my rage I am still just a rat in a cage at a fashion show

  3. Posting an accidental Dick Pic Online: Its actually NOT that difficult (ALMOST CAUGHT ME With the Not So Hard)

  4. At 1.32 there is a painting of a rat on its back with its legs spread. I don’t know what to say about this other than at 1.32 there is a painting of a rat on its back with its legs spread.

  5. Hey, she’s working to address the rat situation in NYC*, maybe she should be the mayor of New York in 2016.

    *The rat situation in NYC is that they’re all under-dressed, right?

    • Let’s hope she doesn’t accidentally twitpic a picture of her rat’s penis, and post it to twitter instead of dming it

    • I hope I never get to the point in my life where I have to say, “And here I am. Dressing rats. And matching with them too!”

  6. I would have gone to this but I already bought tickets to the Exquisite Winger and the Luxurious Warrant Conventions.

  7. There is some serious Robin / Lysa action going on at 1:51.

  8. this is sort of a filtered down story, i am 1 degree of separation from it.

    my friend’s friend lived in a rented house with a billion roommates in college and the house had 2 kitchens. one kitchen wasnt used very often. over a break while he was home alone, he went to the pet store and bought a bunch of frozen mice to feed his snake, but instead of just putting them in the freezer, he emptied the freezer completely and made a diorama out of dead mice. he made furniture out of fruit and set the mice up so that they were playing poker. then when his roommates were set to come back he left a container of ice cream on the table so theyd go to the freezer. then my friend told me about it and now here i am telling you about it.

  9. My ‘Bisquick Dick Pic Pick of the Week (for Charity!)’ column has received fair to middling reviews and THAT DISAPPOINTS ME. Time to make some rat spats I guess.

  10. “My thought was: why don’t we dress them up?”

    I feel like this is a thought this lady has about everything, all the time.

  11. unfortunately, poor Willard couldn’t make this year’s trip, as United Airlines has a strick “no rodent” policy.

  12. I’m having a strange feeling…what’s that…..could it be…..Pity!? for the Rats!? Why yes it is.

  13. I think your girlfriend is in this video! Good for her!

  14. Wait, you guys, I think this is a great idea for a grassroots organization in NYC. Rats Dress for Success! If subway rats wore capes or tutus they would be much better respected in society.

  15. Thank you for sharing too much Gabe. . .I was beginning to feel like I was the only person left in the world who didn’t have dirty naked photos on my phone. If stodgy old politicians are doing it, I figured I was waaay behind in the times.

  16. I’m sorry, but the only reason that people kept trying to “pet and grab” the rats is because only larger animals who are interested in eating rats attend a rat fashion show.

  17. The greatest pets are the ones that twitch and writhe when you hold them and then scurry far away when you let them go. Bonding. Love.

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