Just in case any porn producers out there who look shit up on YouTube were under the misconception that Zachary Briggs is NOT available for your porn movie, he has issued an important clarification:

Come on, porn producers, hire this guy! He has definitely only been saving his virginity for your movie, otherwise he would have lost it a long time ago. Lucky US! (Thanks for the tip, werttrew.)

Comments (47)
  1. I’d appreciate it if you didn’t talk about my boyfriend like that.

  2. He kind of resembles Colin Farrell, so there’s some potential maybe, but I’m not sure we should go with him
    Wait is that a yahoo email address, that is so professional, we will definitely hire you for all our porns

  3. In middle school, he was voted most likely to end up on a future middle school’s “five worst people” list.

  4. Where have I heard this particular speech pattern before:
    http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=Pv61yEcOqpw

    OH GOD! NO! Guys, we need to get a time machine, kill Hitler (voted history’s number one worst person), and then help Zachary Briggs make better life choices.

  5. This guy is big in Indiana. He’s our governor.

    ROASTED, MITCH DANIELS. Millions of high fives.

  6. I feel like he accidentally knocked his front teeth out with his tongue ring. And good for him for sticking with it regardless.

  7. This guy’s favorite Christmas carol: All I Want for Christmas is My Two-Front Teeth (and To Lose My Virginity On Camera)

  8. seriousconversationthateveryonewantstimegum

    Porn is degrading to women

    this ends seriousconversationthateveryonewantstimegum

  9. Orlando Bloom’s got to pay the Meth dealer somehow.

  10. Zach Is A (Porn) Actor And A (Teeth) Model

  11. This just made makes me :(

  12. Guys, I’m worried about Andrew W.K.

  13. “His first stroke… into a pussy.”

    What?

  14. I had my cursor hovering over the pause button in case he said: “But enough talk, let me show you the goods.”

  15. “IN THIS ECONOMY…”

    Amen brother. Amen.

  16. This is pretty depressing. But I do enjoy how he encourages producers to look him up on youtube on youtube

  17. Are they making a Deliverance porno?

  18. I mean really, he ONLY is asking for $20,000 to $40,000. “In this economy” that is a fantastic deal.

  19. “Thank you for covering my face, Zachary!” – Dwight Freeney

  20. This just makes me so sad.

  21. is that ziggy from the wire?

  22. i’m surprised he’s still a virgin.

  23. Kelly or (Gabe?) T1FTT ?

  24. I would have thought this was funny if he was really self-deluded and had a completely inappropriate off-the-charts ego, but he doesn’t, his self-assessment was pretty accurate. And that makes it kind of sad.

    What I’d like to hear more about is why he’s not sure if he’s 5’6″ or 5’10″.

  25. 25? What the hell happened to this kid? I agree with the Monsters who thought this was very sad. If I won the lotto, I’d track him down, take him to the dentist, and enroll him in Junior College.

  26. Soooo . . . I looked at his youtube profile. Cannot tell if he is serious and creepy or if this is some epic Kaufmannesque stunt he’s pulling on all of us. I really, really hope it’s the latter.

  27. Whatever you do, I recommend NOT watching the related video, ‘Zachary Briggs Crying’.

    *Seriousgum*

    This is a very troubled young man, and it is very sad, indeed.

  28. Looks like the Tooth Fairy is paying out in Very Good Ideas.

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