gathering_2011

In just two short years, the Annual Gathering of the Juggalos, a preposterous nightmare weekend hosted by the Insane Clown Posse, has gone from Internet Surprise to Internet Meme to Institution. Just to give you a sense of some of the transformations that have taken place, the original on-line infomercial for the gathering was 14 minutes long. Last year, it was 17 minutes long. This year: 27 minutes long. To put that into perspective, the on-line infomercial for a weekend of garbage music and helicopter rides (HELICOPTER RIDES IS BACK, BITCHES!) is longer than an episode of Friends (unless it was a “sweeps week” SUPERSIZE episode). Not to worry, though, it is still as hilarious and bizarre and sort-of-self-aware-but-in-a-way-that-it-might-as-well-not-be-self-aware-at-all. Sweet Sugar Slam and DJ Clay are joined by Vanilla Ice this year (?!) and all of them are wearing ALIEN COSTUMES. Sure. In addition to the music and the helicopter rides, this year will also feature INFLATABLE MOON BOUNCES, hayrides, A CANDLELIT SEMINAR FROM A DUDE FROM SYFY NETWORK’S SHOW GHOSTHUNTERS, and pro-wrestlers doing stand up comedy. Obviously.

The recurring Saturday Night Live parodies of the Juggalo Gathering videos is always great, but will never actually be this good because no one on that show is willing to subject themselves to an actual brain disorder WOOT WOOOOOT:

R.I.P. Ass Dan, indeed. (Thanks for the tip, Yelena and Jessica.)

Comments (72)
  1. T1FTT, someone!

    • We don’t actually want Gabe to die, do we? Because if he took this for the team, I am pretty sure he would die.
      Or at least have feces thrown at him.

    • I haven’t been able to decide on any trips I want to take to use my vacation time, so I’ll just say that if Videogum can get any press passes, I will T1FTT.

      • Only just saw this post, but I will go to this. If someone can pay for me to come from New Zealand.

        As in, if I was in the US, I would go to this. I cannot tell you enough how much I would go. I would even put my hair in those twisty dread things AND wear clown make up. This may or may not be so no one could ever recognise me.

        I am serious. If anyone has $2000 lying around, I’m your monster.

  2. Looking forward to Juggalos throwing knives at Vanilla Ice.

  3. Is it weird that even though the Gathering Of The Juggalos is clearly the worst possible thing ever to exist (not hyperbole), it makes me happy to know that it does exist? There’s something oddly exhilarating in having proof of the infinite variety of madness of which humans are capable. Gather on, you crazy Juggalos.

  4. Well of course they are in a giant penis ship. I don’t know what else I expected.

  5. I would love to attend this, but unfortunately I’ve signed up to man the white wine spritzer tent at the 27th annual Hall and Oates-travaganza in beautiful sunsational Santa Clarita, CA.

    Guys, if you want to come, I can totally make it happen. Your kiss — and your name plus one guest — will be on the list.

  6. When I watched this I found myself saying, “Bullshit. Lotus played two years ago. There is nothing rare about their upcoming performance!” I spent the next three hours sitting and thinking about what it meant that I felt so strongly about this festival’s advertising strategy.

  7. No female Gremlin?

  8. My pop covers choir are playing a festival side stage in July, meaning that this is the first time I have ever camped at a festival.

    Not gonna lie, the Gathering of the Juggalos infomercial is giving me the fear.

    • Back to the Gathering itself, I am disappointed that there is no Violent J’s Beach Boys Barbecue Blow Out Bash Blast (the Fourth, my nerd).

  9. “Seeking good times & hard rhymes” just ended up on every Juggalo’s Match.com profile.

  10. It’s important to know your audience and judging by how long the words were on screen for the opening credits, they know their audience can barely fucking read.

  11. So I was fast-forwarding through this, thinking “This is stupid, how bad is it going to get”and somewhere arund the 10 minute mark, they announce George Clinton is playing? Who is awesome? And Brian Posehn is going to be doing stand-up, which is also great. Which makes me so confused, because there are some great acts on there, but it is for terrible people. Like Ozzfest. Very conflicted indeed

    • I kind of want to send MC Hammer a message that it’s a trap. Because it has to be a trap, right? I mean how much money does he still owe the IRS that he has to play this gig? Also, when did MC Hammer become an underground artist? At least Vanilla Ice did a hardcore cover to HIS song in 1999 so at least he’s hitting the demographic. But MC Hammer? Unless he’s swinging hammers, he better stay away from the woods. Or the Faygo wet t-shirt contests.

      • I can’t imagine he did the required background research into Juggalos or he wouldn’t have signed up for it. I would expect the Dark Carnival to be opposed to him on the basis of the MC standing for “Man of Christ” now. Maybe he thinks he can do more good working inside the system?

      • I was thinking the same thing about Ice Cube.

      • And why is George Clinton there? He was in PCU for christ’s sake. He doesn’t need to be at a Juggalo festival.

    • I think they wanna rape George Clinton as well.

  12. From the Wikipedia Entry for Rainer Werner Fassbinder:

    The 2011 Gathering of Juggalos Infomercial (2011)

    Returning to his explorations of Michigan history, Fassbinder finally realized his dream of adapting Alfred Döblin’s 1929 novel “The 2011 Gathering of Juggalos Infomercial” in 2011. A monumental TV series running more than 13 hours, with a two-hour coda released in the U.S. as a 15-hour feature, it became his crowning achievement. It was the culmination of the director’s inter-related themes of love, life, and power.

    The Infomercial centers on Vanilla Ice, a former convict and minor pimp, who tries to stay out of trouble but is dragged down by crime, poverty and the duplicity of those around him. His best friend, Sugar Slam, makes him lose an arm and murders Ice’s prostitute girlfriend, Coolio. The love triangle of Ice, Slam and Coolio is staged against the rising tide of the Tea Party in Michigan. The film emphasized the sadomasochist relationship between Ice and Coolio stressing its homoerotic nature.

  13. Clowny Daggers, y’all. Clowny Daggers.

  14. ” Commercialized-mainstream-watered-down -safe and censored-pop- pussy-fart-bullshit” – Guy standing next to vanilla ice

  15. I’m already going.
    I’ll take pictures from the Meth Camp in the woods behind the neden house

  16. I don’t know what this means, but on the way to work this morning I had that SNL parody song stuck in my head. “Fuckin’ blankets… How do they work?”

    It’s like I just knew there was some Juggalo goodness waiting for me.

  17. So, the Juggalo Love Trains are just the hayrides with rebranding to acknowledge they usually turn into mobile greasepaint-laden fuckfests, right?

  18. Also, for shame Mick Foley. Tori Amos and your friends at RAINN surely do not approve of the air of sexual violence that hangs over the Gathering.

    (I am a little disturbed at how sincere my disappointment in this actually is).

  19. Two things. One, did y’all see what they did with that spaceship there?
    Two, Psycopathic Ryders, the most anticipated show of the year, is not only not on the main stage, they’re in the woods? Are they even part of the gathering, or just sneaking in?

  20. Is that blueberry-flavored Juggalo a pre-skinny Horatio Sanz? Or did the blue one EAT Horatio Sanz?

  21. Downtown Brown haven’t been the same since Julie left the band.

  22. Lol at the Susan Boyle pic over “Open Mic Night”

  23. Just from the text at the start of the video it makes it sound as if the Juggalos are being trolled by J.R. “Bob” Dobbs…

  24. [IMG]http://i51.tinypic.com/2its8sp.png[/IMG]

  25. Fun fact: Vanilla Ice is not wearing make-up.

  26. At select Hot Topic stores…

  27. Is Odd Future playing?

  28. this is also how you explain Scientology

  29. what, no dudes on stilts?

  30. MC Hammer?
    Every year there’s an obvious line between the “bat-shit Crazy” artists and the “Fuck it, if the check clears we’re there” artists.

  31. if they really want to walk-the-walk they should trot Ass Dan’s corpse out on stage.
    pussies.

  32. If there were a gathering where I could read a book while everybody leaves me alone, I would go.

  33. Gotta give them credit for getting Vanilla Ice involved. He doesn’t do just any old crap.

  34. Wow this is REALLY long… i kind of had my LOL going for the first 15 minutes but it is so long you guys! By the end i kind of wanted to go!? I mean this is definitely one of the worst things i have ever seen, but i’m just saying, you could lock me in a dank grungy cellar room and force me to watch this for 10 hours straight and there is a good chance i will leave the room heading straight for Cave in Rock, Illinois. I WANT COMEDIANS UP THE ASS!

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